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                          TH INVISIBL MAN 
                            bi H.G. Wels 
			      **********
			      Chapter 1
		      Th Straenj Man's Arieval
Th straenjer caem erly in February wun wintry dae, thru a bieting
wind and a drieving sno, th last snoefall of th yeer, oever th
doun, wauking as it seemd frum Bramblehurst raelwae staeshun and
carrying a litl blak portmanto in his thikly gluvd hand.  He
was rapt up frum hed to fuut, and th brim of his sofft felt hat
hid evry inch of his faes but th shieny tip of his noez; th sno
had pield itself agenst his shoelders and chest, and aded a whiet
crest to th berden he carryd.  He stagerd into th Coech and
Horses, mor ded than aliev as it seemd, and flung his portmanto
doun.  "A fier," he cried, "in th naem of hueman charrity!  A room and
a fier!"  He stampt and shuuk th sno frum off himself in th bar,
and foloed Mrs. Hall into her gest parlour to striek his bargen.
And with that much introducshun, that and a redy aqyesens to
terms and a cupl of sovrins flung upon th taebl, he tuuk up his
qorters in th in.
Mrs. Hall lit th fier and left him thair whiel she went to prepair
him a meel with her oen hands.  A gest to stop at Iping in th
winter-tiem was an unherd-of pees of luk, let aloen a gest hoo
was no "hagler," and she was rezolvd to sho herself werthy of her
guud forchun.  As soon as th baecon was wel under wae, and Millie,
her limfatic aed, had bin brisked up a bit bi a fue deftly choezen
expreshuns of contempt, she carryd th clauth, plates, and glases
into th parlour and began to lae them with th utmoest clat.
Alltho th fier was berning up briskly, she was serpriezd to see
that her vizitor stil wor his hat and coet, standing with his bak
to her and stairing out of th windo at th falling sno in th yard.
His gluvd hands wer claspt behiend him, and he seemd to be lost in
thaut.  She noetist that th melted sno that stil sprinkld his
shoelders dript upon her carpet.  "Can I taek yur hat and coet,
ser," she sed, "and giv them a guud dri in th kichen?"
"No," he sed without terning.
She was not shur she had herd him, and was about to repeet her
qeschun.
He ternd his hed and luukt at her oever his shoelder.  "I prefer to
keep them on," he sed with emfasis, and she noetist that he wor
big bloo spectacls with sied-liets and had a bushy sied-whisker
oever his coet-colar that compleetly hid his faes.
"Verry wel, ser," she sed.  "As U liek.  In a bit th room wil be
wormer."
He maed no anser and had ternd his faes awae frum her agen; and
Mrs. Hall, feeling that her conversaeshunal advanses wer il- tiemd,
laed th rest of th taebl things in a qik stacaato and whiskt out
of th room.  When she reternd he was stil standing thair liek a
man of stoen, his bak huncht, his colar ternd up, his driping
hat-brim ternd doun, hieding his faes and eers compleetly.  She puut
doun th egs and baecon with considerabl emfasis, and calld rather
than sed to him, "Yur lunch is servd, ser."
"Thank U," he sed at th saem tiem, and did not ster until she was
cloezing th dor.  Then he swung round and aproecht th taebl.
As she went behiend th bar to th kichen she herd a sound repeeted
at reguelar intervals.  Chirk, chirk, chirk, it went, th sound of a
spoon being rapidly whiskt round a baesin.  "That gerl!"  she sed.
"Thair!  I cleen forgot it.  It's her being so long!"  And whiel she
herself finisht mixing th mustard, she gaev Millie a fue verbal
stabs for her exsesiv sloenes.  She had cuukt th ham and egs,
laed th taebl, and dun evrything, whiel Millie (help indeed!)  had
oenly sucseeded in delaeing th mustard.  And him a nue gest and
wonting to stae!  Then she fild th mustard pot, and, puuting it
with a serten staetlynes upon a goeld and blak tee-trae, carryd it
into th parlour.
She rapt and enterd promptly.  As she did so her vizitor moovd
qikly, so that she got but a glimps of a whiet object disapeering
behiend th taebl.  It wuud seem he was piking sumthing frum th
flor.  She rapt doun th mustard pot on th taebl, and then she
noetist th oevercoet and hat had bin taeken off and puut oever a chair
in frunt of th fier.  A pair of wet boots thretend rust to her
steel fender.  She went to thees things rezolootly.  "I supoez I mae
hav them to dri now," she sed in a vois that bruukt no denieal.
"Leev th hat," sed her vizitor in a mufld vois, and terning she
saw he had raezd his hed and was siting luuking at her.
For a moement she stuud gaeping at him, too serpriezd to speek.
He held a whiet clauth--it was a serviette he had braut with
him--oever th loeer part of his faes, so that his mouth and jaws wer
compleetly hiden, and that was th reezon of his mufld vois.  But
it was not that which startld Mrs. Hall.  It was th fact that all
his forhed abuv his bloo glases was cuverd bi a whiet bandej,
and that anuther cuverd his eers, leeving not a scrap of his faes
expoezd exsepting oenly his pink, peekt noez.  It was briet pink,
and shieny just as it had bin at ferst.  He wor a dark-broun velvet
jaket with a hi blak linen liend colar ternd up about his nek.
Th thik blak hair, escaeping as it cuud belo and between th
cross bandejes, projected in cuerius taels and horns, giving him th
straenjest apeerans conseevabl.  This mufld and bandejd hed was
so unliek whut she had antisipaeted, that for a moement she was rijid.
He did not remoov th serviette, but remaend hoelding it, as she saw
now, with a broun gluvd hand, and regarding her with his inscrootabl
bloo glases.  "Leev th hat," he sed, speeking verry distinktly
thru th whiet clauth.
Her nervs began to recuver frum th shok thae had reseevd.  She
plaest th hat on th chair agen bi th fier.  "I didn't noe, ser,"
she began, "that--" and she stopt embarrast.
"Thank U," he sed driely, glansing frum her to th dor and then at
her agen.
"I'l hav them niesly dried, ser, at wuns," she sed, and carryd
his cloeths out of th room.  She glanst at his whiet-swathed hed
and bloo gogls agen as she was going out of th dor; but his
napkin was stil in frunt of his faes.  She shiverd a litl as she
cloezd th dor behiend her, and her faes was eloqent of her serpriez
and perplexity.  "I never," she whisperd.  "Thair!"  She went qiet
sofftly to th kichen, and was too preocuepied to ask Millie whut she
was mesing about with now, when she got thair.
Th vizitor sat and lisend to her retreeting feet.  He glanst
inqieringly at th windo befor he remoovd his serviette and rezoomd
his meel.  He tuuk a mouthful, glanst suspishusly at th windo,
tuuk anuther mouthful, then roez and, taeking th serviette in his
hand, waukt across th room and puuld th bliend doun to th top of
th whiet muzlin that obscuerd th loeer paens.  This left th room
in twieliet.  This dun, he reternd with an eezyer air to th taebl
and his meel.
"Th pur soul's had an acsident or an op'ration or sumthing," sed
Mrs. Hall.  "Whut a tern them bandejes did giv me, to be shur!"
She puut on sum mor coel, unfoelded th cloeths-hors, and extended
th traveller's coet upon this.  "And thae gogls!  Whi, he luukt
mor liek a divin' helmet than a hueman man!"  She hung his mufler on
a corner of th hors.  "And hoelding that hankerchif oever his mouth
all th tiem.  Talkin' thru it!...Perhaps his mouth was hert
too--maebe."
She ternd round, as wun hoo sudenly remembers.  "Bles mi soel
aliev!" she sed, going off at a tanjent; "ain't U dun them taters
yet, Millie?"
When Mrs. Hall went to cleer awae th stranger's lunch, her iedeea that
his mouth must allso hav bin cut or disfiguerd in th acsident she
supoezd him to hav suferd, was confermd, for he was smoeking a
piep, and all th tiem that she was in th room he never loosend th
silk mufler he had rapt round th loeer part of his faes to puut
th mouthpees to his lips.  Yet it was not forgetfulnes, for she
saw he glanst at it as it smouldered out.  He sat in th corner with
his bak to th windo-bliend and spoek now, having eeten and drunk
and being cumfortably wormd thru, with les agresiv brevity
than befor.  Th reflecshun of th fier lent a kiend of red animaeshun
to his big spectacls thae had lakt hitherto.
"I hav sum lugej," he sed, "at Bramblehurst staeshun," and he
askt her how he cuud hav it sent.  He bowd his bandejd hed
qiet polietly in acknowledgment of her explanaeshun.  "To-morro!" he
sed.  "Thair is no speedier delivery?" and seemd qiet disapointed
when she anserd "No."  Was she qiet shur?  No man with a trap hoo
wuud go oever?
Mrs. Hall, nuthing loeth, anserd his qeschuns and developt a
conversaeshun.  "It's a steep roed bi th doun, ser," she sed in
anser to th qeschun about a trap; and then, snaching at an
oepening sed, "It was thair a carrej was upsettled, a yeer ago and
mor.  A jentlman kild, besieds his coechman.  Acsidents, ser,
hapen in a moement, don't thae?"
But th vizitor was not to be drawn so eezily.  "Thae do," he sed
thru his mufler, ieing her qieetly thru his impenetrabl
glases.
"But thae taek long enuf to get wel, ser, don't thae? ...  Thair
was mi sister's sun, Tom, jest cut his arm with a sieth, tumbld on
it in th 'ayfield, and, bles me! he was three munths tied up, ser.
U'd hardly beleev it.  It's reguelar given me a dred of a sieth,
ser."
"I can qiet understand that," sed th vizitor.
"He was afraed, wun tiem, that he'd hav to hav an op'ration --he
was that bad, ser."
Th vizitor laft abruptly, a bark of a laf that he seemd to
biet and kil in his mouth.  "Was he?" he sed.
"He was, ser.  And no lafing mater to them as had th doing for
him, as I had--mi sister being tuuk up with her litl wuns so much.
Thair was bandejes to do, ser, and bandejes to undoo.  So that if I
mae maek so boeld as to sae it, ser--"
"Wil U get me sum maches?" sed th vizitor, qiet abruptly.
"Mi piep is out."
Mrs. Hall was puuld up sudenly.  It was sertenly rood of him,
after teling him all she had dun.  She gaspt at him for a moement,
and rememberd th too sovrins.  She went for th maches.
"Thanks," he sed concisely, as she puut them doun, and ternd his
shoelder upon her and staird out of th windo agen.  It was
alltogether too discurejing.  Evidently he was sensitiv on th topic
of operaeshuns and bandejes.  She did not "maek so boeld as to sae,"
however, after all.  But his snubing wae had iritaeted her, and
Millie had a hot tiem of it that afternoon.
Th vizitor remaend in th parlour until foer o'clok, without
giving th goest of an excues for an introozhun.  For th moest part he
was qiet stil during that tiem; it wuud seem he sat in th groeing
darknes smoeking in th fierliet, perhaps doezing.
Wuns or twies a cuerius lisener miet hav herd him at th coels,
and for th spaes of fiev minits he was audibl paesing th room.  He
seemd to be tauking to himself.  Then th armchair creekt as he sat
doun agen.
			      **********
			      Chapter 2
		Mr. Teddy Henfrey's Ferst Impreshuns
At foer o'clok, when it was fairly dark and Mrs. Hall was scrooing
up her curej to go in and ask her vizitor if he wuud taek sum
tee, Teddy Henfrey, th clok-jober, caem into th bar.  "Mi sakes!
Mrs. Hall," sed he, "but this is terribl wether for thin boots!"
Th sno outsied was falling faster.
Mrs. Hall agreed with him, and then noetist he had his bag and hit
upon a brilyant iedeea.  "Now U'r heer, Mr. Teddy," sed she, "I'd
be glad if U'd giv th' oeld clok in th parlour a bit of a luuk.
'tis going, and it strieks wel and harty; but th our-hand woen't
do nuthin' but point at six."
And leeding th wae, she went across to th parlour dor and rapt
and enterd.
Her vizitor, she saw as she oepend th dor, was seeted in th
armchair befor th fier, doezing it wuud seem, with his bandejd
hed drooping on wun sied.  Th oenly liet in th room was th red
glo frum th fier--which lit his ies liek advers raelwae signals,
but left his douncast faes in darknes--and th scanty vestiges of
th dae that caem in thru th oepen dor.  Evrything was rudy,
shadoey, and indistinct to her, th mor so sinss she had just bin
lieting th bar lamp, and her ies wer dazld.  But for a second
it seemd to her that th man she luukt at had an enormus mouth
wied oepen,--a vast and incredibl mouth that swoloed th hoel of
th loeer porshun of his faes.  It was th sensaeshun of a moement: th
whiet- bound hed, th monstrus gogl ies, and this huej yaun
belo it.  Then he sterd, started up in his chair, puut up his hand.
She oepend th dor wied, so that th room was lieter, and she saw
him mor cleerly, with th mufler held to his faes just as she had
seen him hoeld th serviette befor.  Th shadoes, she fansyd, had
trikt her.
"Wuud U miend, ser, this man a-cuming to luuk at th clok, ser?"
she sed, recuvering frum her moementairy shok.
"Luuk at th clok?" he sed, stairing round in a drouzy maner and
speeking oever his hand, and then geting mor fuuly awaek,
"sertenly."
Mrs. Hall went awae to get a lamp, and he roez and strecht himself.
Then caem th liet, and Mr. Teddy Henfrey, entering, was confrunted
bi this bandejd person.  He was, he ses, "taeken abak."
"Guud-afternoon," sed th straenjer, regarding him, as Mr.  Henfrey
ses with a vivid sens of th dark spectacls, "liek a lobster."
"I hoep," sed Mr. Henfrey, "that it's no introozhun."
"Nun whutever," sed th straenjer.  "Tho I understand," he sed,
terning to Mrs. Hall, "that this room is reealy to be mien for mi oen
prievet ues."
"I thaut, ser," sed Mrs. Hall, "U'd prefer th clok--" She was
going to sae "mended."
"Sertenly," sed th straenjer, "sertenly--but, as a rool, I liek to
be aloen and undisterbd.
"But I'm reealy glad to hav th clok seen to," he sed, seeing a
serten hezitaeshun in Mr. Henfrey's maner.  "Verry glad."  Mr.
Henfrey had intended to apologise and withdraw, but this antisipaeshun
re-ashurd him.  Th straenjer stuud round with his bak to th
fierplaes and puut his hands behiend his bak.  "And prezently," he
sed, "when th clok-mending is oever, I think I shuud liek to hav
sum tee.  But not until th clok-mending is oever."
Mrs. Hall was about to leev th room,--she maed no conversaeshunal
advanses this tiem, becauz she did not wont to be snubd in frunt
of Mr. Henfrey,--when her vizitor askt her if she had maed eny
araenjments about his boxes at Bramblehurst.  She toeld him she had
menshund th mater to th poestman, and that th carryer cuud bring
them oever on th morro.  "U ar serten that is th erlyest?" he
sed.
She was serten, with a markt coeldnes.
"I shuud explaen," he aded, "whut I was reealy too coeld and
fateegd to do befor, that I am an experrimental investigaetor."
"Indeed, ser," sed Mrs. Hall, much imprest.
"And mi bagej contaens aparatus and aplieanses."
"Verry uesful things indeed thae ar, ser," sed Mrs. Hall.
"And I'm nacheraly ankshus to get on with mi inqierys."
"Of cors, ser."
"Mi reezon for cuming to Iping," he proseeded, with a serten
deliberaeshun of maner, "was--a dezier for solitued.  I do not wish
to be disterbd in mi werk.  In adishun to mi werk, an acsident--"
"I thaut as much," sed Mrs. Hall to herself.
"--nesesitaets a serten retierment.  Mi ies--ar sumtiems so weak
and paenful that I hav to shut mieself up in th dark for ours
together.  Lok mieself up.  Sumtiems--now and then.  Not at prezent,
sertenly.  At such tiems th slietest disterbans, th entry of a
straenjer into th room, is a sors of excrooshiaeting anoians to
me--it is wel thees things shuud be understuud."
"Sertenly, ser," sed Mrs. Hall.  "And if I miet maek so boeld as to
ask--"
"That, I think, is all," sed th straenjer, with that qieetly
irrezistibl air of fienality he cuud asoom at wil.  Mrs. Hall
rezervd her qeschun and simpathy for a beter ocaezhun.
After Mrs. Hall had left th room, he remaend standing in frunt of
th fier, glairing, so Mr. Henfrey puuts it, at th clok- mending.
Mr. Henfrey not oenly tuuk off th hands of th clok, and th faes,
but extracted th werks; and he tried to werk in as slo and qieet
and unasooming a maner as posibl.  He werkt with th lamp cloes
to him, and th green shaed throo a brilyant liet upon his hands,
and upon th fraem and wheels, and left th rest of th room shadoey.
When he luukt up, culord paches swam in his ies.  Being
constitutionally of a cuerius naecher, he had remoovd th werks--a
qiet unnesesairy proseeding--with th iedeea of delaeing his deparcher
and perhaps falling into conversaeshun with th straenjer.  But th
straenjer stuud thair, perfectly sielent and stil.  So stil, it got
on Henfrey's nervs.  He felt aloen in th room and luukt up, and
thair, grae and dim, was th bandejd hed and huej bloo lenzes
stairing fixedly, with a mist of green spots drifting in frunt of
them.  It was so uncany-luuking to Henfrey that for a minit thae
remaend stairing blankly at wun anuther.  Then Henfrey luukt doun
agen.  Verry uncumfortabl pozishun!  Wun wuud liek to sae
sumthing.  Shuud he remark that th wether was verry coeld for th
tiem of yeer?
He luukt up as if to taek aem with that introductory shot.  "Th
wether--" he began.
"Whi don't U finish and go?" sed th rijid figuer, evidently in a
staet of paenfuly suprest raej.  "All U'v got to do is to fix
th our-hand on its axl.  U'r simply humbugging--"
"Sertenly, ser--wun minit mor, ser.  I oeverluukt--" And Mr.
Henfrey finisht and went.
But he went off feeling exsesivly anoid.  "Dam it!" sed Mr.
Henfrey to himself, trudging doun th vilej thru th thawing
sno; "a man must do a clok at tiems, shur-lie."
And agen: "Can't a man luuk at U?--Ugly!"
And yet agen: "Seemingly not.  If th polees was wonting U U
cuudn't be mor wropped and bandejd."
At Gleeson's corner he saw Hall, hoo had reesently marryd th
stranger's hoestes at th Coech and Horses, and hoo now droev th
Iping convaeans, when ocaezhunal peepl reqierd it, to Sidderbridge
Junkshun, cuming tords him on his retern frum that plaes.  Hall had
evidently bin "stoping a bit" at Sidderbridge, to juj bi his
drieving.  "'ow do, Teddy?" he sed, pasing.
"U got a rum un up hoem!" sed Teddy.
Hall verry sociably puuld up.  "Whut's that?" he askt.
"Rum-luuking customer stoping at th Coech and Horses," sed Teddy.
"Mi sakes!"
And he proseeded to giv Hall a vivid descripshun of his groetesk
gest.  "Luuks a bit liek a disgiez, don't it?  I'd liek to see a
man's faes if I had him stoping in mi plaes," sed Henfrey.  "But
wimen ar that trustful,--wherr straenjers ar consernd.  He's tuuk
yur rooms and he ain't eeven given a naem, Hall."
"U don't sae so!" sed Hall, hoo was a man of slugish
aprehenshun.
"Yes," sed Teddy.  "Bi th week.  Whutever he is, U can't get rid
of him under th week.  And he's got a lot of lugej cuming
to-morro, so he ses.  Let's hoep it woen't be stoens in boxes,
Hall."
He toeld Hall how his ant at Hastings had bin swindld bi a straenjer
with empty portmanteaux.  Alltogether he left Hall vaegly suspishus.
"Get up, oeld gerl," sed Hall.  "I s'pose I must see 'bout this."
Teddy trujd on his wae with his miend considerably releevd.
Insted of "seeing 'bout it," however, Hall on his retern was
seveerly raeted bi his wief on th length of tiem he had spent in
Sidderbridge, and his mield inqierys wer anserd snappishly and in
a maner not to th point.  But th seed of suspishun Teddy had soen
germinated in th miend of Mr. Hall in spiet of thees discouragements.
"U wim' don't noe evrything," sed Mr. Hall, rezolvd to
asertaen mor about th personality of his gest at th erlyest
posibl oportuenity.  And after th straenjer had gon to bed, which
he did about haf-past nien, Mr. Hall went agresivly into th
parlour and luukt verry hard at his wife's fernicher, just to sho
that th straenjer wasn't master thair, and scrutinised cloesly and a
litl contempchuosly a sheet of mathematical compuetaeshun th
straenjer had left.  When retiering for th niet he instructed Mrs.
Hall to luuk verry cloesly at th stranger's lugej when it caem next
dae.
"U miend yur oen biznes, Hall," sed Mrs. Hall, "and I'l miend
mien."
She was all th mor incliend to snap at Hall becauz th straenjer
was undoutedly an unuezhualy straenj sort of straenjer, and she was bi
no meens ashurd about him in her oen miend.  In th midl of th
niet she woek up dreeming of huej whiet heds liek ternips, that
caem traeling after her at th end of interminabl neks, and with
vast blak ies.  But being a sensibl wuuman, she subdued her terrors
and ternd oever and went to sleep agen.
			      **********
			      Chapter 3
		     Th Thouzand and Wun Botls
Thus it was that on th nienth dae of February, at th begining of
th thaw, this singguelar person fel out of infinity into Iping
Vilej.  Next dae his lugej arievd thru th slush.  And verry
remarkabl lugej it was.  Thair was a cupl of trunks indeed, such
as a rashunal man miet need, but in adishun thair wer a box of
buuks,--big, fat buuks, of which sum wer just in an
incomprehensibl hand-rieting,--and a duzen or mor craets, boxes, and
caeses, contaening objects pakt in straw, as it seemd to Hall,
tuging with a cazhual cueriosity at th straw--glas botls.  Th
straenjer, mufld in hat, coet, gluvs, and raper, caem out
impaeshently to meet Fearenside's cart, whiel Hall was having a werd
or so of gosip preparratory to helping bring them in.  Out he caem,
not noetising Fearenside's daug, hoo was snifing in a dilitaant
spirit at Hall's legs.  "Cum along with thoes boxes," he sed.
"I'v bin waeting long enuf."
And he caem doun th steps tords th tael of th cart as if to lae
hands on th smaller craet.
No sooner had Fearenside's daug caut siet of him, however, than it
began to brisl and groul savejly, and when he rusht doun th
steps it gaev an undecided hop, and then sprang straet at his hand.
"Whup!" cried Hall, jumping bak, for he was no heero with daugs, and
Fearenside hould, "Lie doun!" and snacht his whip.
Thae saw th dog's teeth had slipt th hand, herd a kik, saw th
daug execuet a flanking jump and get hoem on th stranger's leg, and
herd th rip of his trousering.  Then th fiener end of Fearenside's
whip reecht his property, and th daug, yelping with dismae,
retreeted under th wheels of th waggon.  It was all th biznes of
a haf-minit.  No wun spoek, evry wun shouted.  Th straenjer
glanst swiftly at his torn gluv and at his leg, maed as if he wuud
stoop to th later, then ternd and rusht up th steps into th
in.  Thae herd him go hedlong across th pasej and up th
uncarpeted stairs to his bedroom.
"U broot, U!" sed Fearenside, clieming off th waggon with his
whip in his hand, whiel th daug wocht him thru th wheel.  "Cum
heer!" sed Fearenside--"U'd beter."
Hall had stuud gaeping.  "He wuz bit," sed Hall.  "I'd beter go and
see to en," and he troted after th straenjer.  He met Mrs.  Hall in
th pasej.  "Carrier's darg," he sed, "bit en."
He went straet upstairs, and th stranger's dor being ajar, he
puusht it oepen and was entering without eny serremoeny, being of a
nacheraly simpathetic tern of miend.
Th bliend was doun and th room dim.  He caut a glimps of a moest
singguelar thing, whut seemd a handles arm waeving tords him, and a
faes of three huej indeterminet spots on whiet, verry liek th faes
of a pael panzy.  Then he was struk vieolently in th chest, herld
bak, and th dor slamd in his faes and lokt, all so rapidly
that he had no tiem to obzerv.  A waeving of indesieferabl shaeps, a
blo, and a concushun.  Thair he stuud on th dark litl landing,
wundering whut it miet be that he had seen.
After a cupl of minits he rejoind th litl groop that had
formd outsied th Coech and Horses.  Thair was Fearenside teling
about it all oever agen for th second tiem; thair was Mrs. Hall
saeing his daug didn't hav no biznes to biet her gests; thair was
Huxter, th jeneral deeler frum oever th roed, interogativ; and
Sandy Wadgers frum th forj, joodishal; besieds wimen and children,--
all of them saeing fatuities: "Wuudn't let en biet me, I noes";
"'tasn't riet hav such dargs"; "Whad 'e bite'n for then?" and so
forth.
Mr. Hall, stairing at them frum th steps and lisening, found it
incredibl that he had seen enything verry remarkabl hapen upstairs.
Besieds, his voecabuelairy was alltogether too limited to expres his
impreshuns.
"He don't wont no help, he ses," he sed in anser to his wife's
enqiery.  "We'd beter be a-takin' of his lugej in."
"He aut to hav it cauterised at wuns," sed Mr. Huxter;
"espeshaly if it's at all inflaemd."
"I'd shoot en, that's whut I'd do," sed a laedy in th groop.
Sudenly th daug began grouling agen.
"Cum along," cried an anggry vois in th dorwae, and thair stuud
th mufld straenjer with his colar ternd up, and his hat-brim bent
doun.  "Th sooner U get thoes things in th beter I'l be
pleezd."  It is staeted bi an anonimus biestander that his trouzers
and gluvs had bin chaenjd.
"Was U hert, ser?" sed Fearenside.  "I'm rair sorry th darg--"
"Not a bit," sed th straenjer.  "Never broek th skin.  Hery up
with thoes things."
He then swor to himself, so Mr. Hall aserts.
Directly th ferst craet was carryd into th parlour, in acordans
with his direcshuns, th straenjer flung himself upon it with
extraordinairy eegernes, and began to unpak it, scatering th straw
with an uter disregard of Mrs. Hall's carpet.  And frum it he began
to produes botls--litl fat botls contaening pouders, small and
slender botls contaening culord and whiet flooids, flooted bloo
botls laebeld Poizon, botls with round bodys and slender neks,
larj green-glas botls, larj whiet-glas botls, botls with
glas stopers and frosted laebels, botls with fien corks, botls
with bungs, botls with wuuden caps, wien botls, salad-oil
botls--puuting them in roes on th shifoneer, on th mantel, on
th taebl under th windo, round th flor, on th buuk-shelf--
evrywhair.  Th chemist's shop in Bramblehurst cuud not boest haf
so meny.  Qiet a siet it was.  Craet after craet yeelded botls,
until all six wer empty and th taebl hi with straw; th oenly
things that caem out of thees craets besieds th botls wer a
number of test-tuebs and a cairfuly pakt balans.
And directly th craets wer unpakt, th straenjer went to th
windo and set to werk, not trubling in th leest about th liter
of straw, th fier which had gon out, th box of buuks outsied, nor
for th trunks and uther lugej that had gon upstairs.
When Mrs. Hall tuuk his diner in to him, he was allredy so absorbd
in his werk, poring litl drops out of th botls into test-tuebs,
that he did not heer her until she had swept awae th bulk of th
straw and puut th trae on th taebl, with sum litl emfasis
perhaps, seeing th staet that th flor was in.  Then he haf ternd
his hed and imeedyetly ternd it awae agen.  But she saw he had
remoovd his glases; thae wer besied him on th taebl, and it seemd
to her that his ie sokets wer extraordinairily holo.  He puut on
his spectacls agen, and then ternd and faest her.  She was about
to complaen of th straw on th flor when he antisipaeted her.
"I wish U wuudn't cum in without noking," he sed in th toen
of abnormal exasperaeshun that seemd so carracteristic of him.
"I nokt, but seemingly--"
"Perhaps U did.  But in mi investigaeshuns--mi reealy verry erjent
and nesesairy investigaeshuns--th slietest disterbans, th jar of a
dor--I must ask U--"
"Sertenly, ser.  U can tern th lok if U'r liek that, U
noe--eny tiem."
"A verry guud iedeea," sed th straenjer.
"This stror, ser, if I miet maek so boeld as to remark--"
"Don't.  If th straw maeks trubl puut it doun in th bil."  And he
mumbld at her--werds suspishusly liek curses.
He was so od, standing thair, so agresiv and exploesiv, botl in
wun hand and test-tueb in th uther, that Mrs. Hall was qiet
alarmd.  But she was a rezoloot wuuman.  "In which caes, I shuud
liek to noe, ser, whut U consider--"
"A shiling.  Puut doun a shiling.  Shurly a shilling's enuf?"
"So be it," sed Mrs. Hall, taeking up th tablecloth and begining to
spred it oever th taebl.  "If U'r satisfied, of cors--"
He ternd and sat doun, with his coet-colar tords her.
All th afternoon he werkt with th dor lokt and, as Mrs.  Hall
testifies, for th moest part in sielens.  But wuns thair was a
concushun and a sound of botls ringing together as tho th
taebl had bin hit, and th smash of a botl flung vieolently doun,
and then a rapid paesing athwort th room.  Feering "sumthing was th
mater," she went to th dor and lisend, not cairing to nok.
"I can't go on," he was raeving.  "I can't go on.  Three hundred
thouzand, foer hundred thouzand!  Th huej multitued!  Cheeted!  All
mi lief it mae taek me!  Paeshens!  Paeshens indeed!  Fool and lieer!"
Thair was a noiz of hobnails on th briks in th bar, and Mrs. Hall
verry reluctantly had to leev th rest of his soliloqy.  When she
reternd th room was sielent agen, saev for th faent crepitation of
his chair and th ocaezhunal clink of a botl.  It was all oever.
Th straenjer had rezoomd werk.
When she tuuk in his tee she saw broeken glas in th corner of th
room under th concaev miror, and a goelden staen that had bin
cairlesly wiept.  She calld atenshun to it.
"Puut it doun in th bil," snapt her vizitor.  "For God's saek
don't wery me.  If thair's damej dun, puut it doun in th bil";
and he went on tiking a list in th exersiez buuk befor him.
"I'l tel U sumthing," sed Fearenside misteeriusly.  It was laet
in th afternoon, and thae wer in th litl beer-shop of Iping
Hanger.
"Wel?" sed Teddy Henfrey.
"This chap U'r speeking of, whut mi daug bit.  Wel--he's blak.
Leastways, his legs ar.  I seed thru th tair of his gluv.
U'd hav expected a sort of pinky to sho, wuudn't U?
Wel--thair wasn't nun.  Just blaknes.  I tel U, he's as blak
as mi hat."
"Mi sakes!" sed Henfrey.  "It's a rumy caes alltogether.  Whi, his
noez is as pink as paent!"
"That's troo," sed Fearenside.  "I noes that.  And I tel 'ee whut
I'm thinking.  That marn's a pieballd, Teddy.  Blak heer and whiet
thair--in paches.  And he's ashaemd of it.  He's a kiend of
haf-breed, and th colour's cum off pachy insted of mixing.  I'v
herd of such things befor.  And it's th comon wae with horses, as
enywun can see."
			      **********
			      Chapter 4
		   Mr. Cuss Intervues th Straenjer
I hav toeld th sercumstanses of th stranger's arieval in Iping with
a serten fulness of deetael, in order that th cuerius impreshun he
creaeted mae be understuud bi th reeder.  But exsepting too od
insidents, th sercumstanses of his stae until th extraordinairy dae
of th Club Festival mae be past oever verry cursorily.  Thair wer a
number of skermishes with Mrs. Hall on maters of domestic
disiplin, but in evry caes until laet in April, when th ferst
siens of penuery began, he oever-roed her bi th eezy expeedyent of an
extra paement.  Hall did not liek him, and whenever he daird he
taukt of th adviezability of geting rid of him; but he shoed his
disliek cheefly bi conseeling it ostentatiously, and avoiding his
vizitor as much as posibl.  "Waet til th sumer," sed Mrs. Hall,
sagely, "when th artisks ar begining to cum.  Then we'll see.  He
mae be a bit oeverbairing, but bils setld punkchual is bils setld
punkchual, whutever U liek to sae."
Th straenjer did not go to cherch, and indeed maed no diferens
between Sunday and th irrelijus daes, eeven in costoom.  He werkt,
as Mrs. Hall thaut, verry fitfuly.  Sum daes he wuud cum doun
erly and be continueusly bizy.  On uthers he wuud riez laet, paes
his room, freting audibly for ours together, smoek, sleep in th
armchair bi th fier.  Comuenicaeshun with th werld beyond th
vilej he had nun.  His temper continued verry unsertan; for th
moest part his maner was that of a man sufering under allmoest
unendurabl provocaeshun, and wuns or twies things wer snapt, torn,
crusht, or broeken in spazmodic gusts of vieolens.  He seemd under a
cronic iritaeshun of th graetest intensity.  His habit of tauking
to himself in a lo vois groo stedily upon him, but tho Mrs.
Hall lisend conscientiously she cuud maek neether hed nor tael of
whut she herd.
He rairly went abraud bi daeliet, but at twieliet he wuud go out
mufld up enormusly, whether th wether wer coeld or not, and he
choez th loenlyest paths and thoes moest oevershadoed bi trees and
banks.  His goggling spectacls and gastly bandejd faes under th
pent-hous of his hat, caem with a disagreeabl sudennes out of th
darknes upon wun or too hoem-going labourers; and Teddy Henfrey,
tumbling out of th Scarlet Coet wun niet at haf-past nien, was
scaird shamefully bi th stranger's skul-liek hed (he was wauking
hat in hand) lit bi th suden liet of th oepend dor.  Such
children as saw him at nietfual dremt of boegys, and it seemd
doutful whether he disliekt bois mor than thae disliekt him, or th
revers--but thair was sertenly a vivid enuf disliek on eether
sied.
It was inevitabl that a person of so remarkabl an apeerans and
bairing shuud form a freeqent topic in such a vilej as Iping.
Opinyon was graetly divieded about his ocuepaeshun.  Mrs. Hall was
sensitiv on th point.  When qeschund, she explaend verry
cairfuly that he was an "experrimental investigaetor," going jinjerly
oever th silabls as wun hoo dreds pitfalls.  When askt whut an
experrimental investigaetor was, she wuud sae with a tuch of
supeeriority that moest ejucaeted peepl nue that, and wuud then
explaen that he "discuverd things."  Her vizitor had had an
acsident, she sed, which temporairily discoloured his faes and hands;
and being of a sensitiv dispozishun, he was avers to eny public
noetis of th fact.
Out of her heering thair was a vue larjly entertaend that he was a
criminal trieing to escaep frum justis bi raping himself up so as
to conseel himself alltogether frum th ie of th polees.  This iedeea
sprang frum th braen of Mr. Teddy Henfrey.  No criem of eny
magnitued daeting frum th midl or end of February was noen to hav
ocurd.  Elaboraeted in th imajinaeshun of Mr. Gould, th
probationary asistant in th Nashunal Scool, this theeory tuuk th
form that th straenjer was an Anerkist in disgiez, prepairing
exploesivs, and he rezolvd to undertaek such detectiv operaeshuns as
his tiem permited.  Thees consisted for th moest part in luuking
verry hard at th straenjer whenever thae met, or in asking peepl hoo
had never seen th straenjer leeding qeschuns about him.  But he
detected nuthing.
Anuther scool of opinyon foloed Mr. Fearenside, and eether
acsepted th pieballd vue or sum modificaeshun of it; as, for
instans, Silas Durgan, hoo was herd to asert that "if he choses to
sho enself at fairs he'd maek his forchun in no tiem," and being a
bit of a theoloejan, compaird th straenjer to th man with th wun
talent.  Yet anuther vue explaend th entier mater bi regarding
th straenjer as a harmles loonatic.  That had th advantej of
acounting for evrything straet awae.
Between thees maen groops thair wer waverers and compromisers.
Sussex foek hav fue sooperstishuns, and it was oenly after th events
of erly April that th thaut of th soopernacheral was ferst
whisperd in th vilej.  Eeven then it was oenly credited amung th
wimen foeks.
But whutever thae thaut of him, peepl in Iping on th hoel agreed
in dislieking him.  His iritability, tho it miet hav bin
comprehensibl to an erban braen-werker, was an amaezing thing to
thees qieet Sussex vilejers.  Th frantic gesticulations thae
serpriezd now and then, th hedlong paes after nietfual that swept
him upon them round qieet corners, th inhueman bludgeoning of all th
tentativ advanses of cueriosity, th taest for twieliet that led to
th cloezing of dors, th puuling doun of bliends, th extinkshun of
candls and lamps--hoo cuud agree with such goings on?  Thae droo
asied as he past doun th vilej, and when he had gon bi, yung
huemorists wuud up with coet-colars and doun with hat-brims, and go
paesing nervusly after him in imitaeshun of his ocult bairing.  Thair
was a song popuelar at that tiem calld th "Boegy Man"; Mis
Statchell sang it at th scoolroom consert (in aed of th cherch
lamps), and thairafter whenever wun or too of th vilejers wer
gatherd together and th straenjer apeerd, a bar or so of this
tuen, mor or les sharp or flat, was whisld in th midst of them.
Allso belaeted litl children wuud call "Boegy Man!" after him, and
maek off tremuelusly elaeted.
Cuss, th jeneral practishuner, was devourd bi cueriosity.  Th
bandejes exsieted his profeshunal interest, th report of th
thouzand and wun botls arouzd his jelus regard.  All thru
April and Mae he cuveted an oportuenity of tauking to th straenjer;
and at last, tords Whitsuntide, he cuud stand it no longger, and
hit upon th subscripshun-list for a vilej ners as an excues.  He
was serpriezd to fiend that Mr. Hall did not noe his guest's naem.
"He giv a naem," sed Mrs. Hall--an asershun which was qiet
unfounded-- "but I didn't rietly heer it."  She thaut it seemd so
sily not to noe th man's naem.
Cuss rapt at th parlour dor and enterd.  Thair was a fairly
audibl imprecaeshun frum within.  "Pardon mi introozhun," sed Cuss,
and then th dor cloezd and cut Mrs. Hall off frum th rest of th
conversaeshun.
She cuud heer th mermer of voises for th next ten minits, then a
cri of serpriez, a stering of feet, a chair flung asied, a bark of
lafter, qik steps to th dor, and Cuss apeerd, his faes whiet,
his ies stairing oever his shoelder.  He left th dor oepen behiend
him, and without luuking at her stroed across th hall and went doun
th steps, and she herd his feet herying along th roed.  He
carryd his hat in his hand.  She stuud behiend th dor, luuking at
th oepen dor of th parlour.  Then she herd th straenjer lafing
qieetly, and then his fuutsteps caem across th room.  She cuud not
see his faes wherr she stuud.  Th parlour dor slamd, and th
plaes was sielent agen.
Cuss went straet up th vilej to Bunting th vicar.  "Am I mad?"
Cuss began abruptly, as he enterd th shaby litl study.  "Do I
luuk liek an insaen person?"
"Whut's hapend?" sed th vicar, puuting th ammonite on th loos
sheets of his forthcuming sermon.
"That chap at th in--"
"Wel?"
"Giv me sumthing to drink," sed Cuss, and he sat doun.
When his nervs had bin stedyd bi a glas of cheep sherry-- th
oenly drink th guud vicar had avaelabl--he toeld him of th intervue
he had just had.  "Went in," he gaspt, "and began to demand a
subscripshun for that Ners Fund.  He'd stuk his hands in his
pokets as I caem in, and he sat doun lumpily in his chair.  Snift.
I toeld him I'd herd he tuuk an interest in sieentific things.  He
sed yes.  Snift agen.  Kept on snifing all th tiem; evidently
reesently caut an infernal coeld.  No wunder, rapt up liek that!
I developt th ners iedeea, and all th whiel kept mi ies oepen.
Botls--kemicals--evrywhair.  Balans, test-tuebs in stands, and a
smel of--eevning primroez.  Wuud he subscrieb?  Sed he'd consider
it.  Askt him, point-blank, was he reserching.  Sed he was.  A
long reserch?  Got qiet cross.  'A damnabl long reserch,' sed
he, bloeing th cork out, so to speek.  'oh,' sed I.  And out caem
th greevans.  Th man was just on th boil, and mi qeschun boild
him oever.  He had bin given a prescripshun, moest valueabl
prescripshun-- whut for he wuudn't sae.  Was it medical?  'damn U!
Whut ar U fishing after?'  I apologised.  Dignified snif and
cauf.  He rezoomd.  He'd reed it.  Fiev ingreedyents.  Puut it doun;
ternd his hed.  Draft of air frum windo lifted th paeper.
Swish, rusl.  He was werking in a room with an oepen fierplaes, he
sed.  Saw a fliker, and thair was th prescripshun berning and
lifting chimneyward.  Rusht tords it just as it whiskt up
chimny.  So!  Just at that point, to ilustraet his story, out caem
his arm."
"Wel?"
"No hand--just an empty sleev.  Lord!  I thaut, that's a
deformity!  Got a cork arm, I supoez, and has taeken it off.  Then, I
thaut, thair's sumthing od in that.  Whut th devil keeps that
sleev up and oepen, if thair's nuthing in it?  Thair was nuthing in
it, I tel U.  Nuthing doun it, riet doun to th joint.  I cuud
see riet doun it to th elbo, and thair was a glimer of liet
shiening thru a tair of th clauth.  'good God!' I sed.  Then he
stopt.  Staird at me with thoes blak gogls of his, and then at
his sleev."
"Wel?"
"That's all.  He never sed a werd; just glaird, and puut his sleev
bak in his poket qikly.  'I was saeing,' sed he, 'that thair was
th prescripshun berning, wasn't I?'  Interogativ cauf.  'how th
devil,' sed I, 'can U moov an empty sleev liek that?'  'empty
sleev?'  'yes,' sed I, 'an empty sleev.'
"'it's an empty sleev, is it?  U saw it was an empty sleev?'  He
stuud up riet awae.  I stuud up too.  He caem tords me in three
verry slo steps, and stuud qiet cloes.  Snift venomously.  I
didn't flinch, tho I'm hangd if that bandejd nob of his, and
thoes blinkers, arn't enuf to unnerv eny wun, cuming qieetly up
to U.
"'you sed it was an empty sleev?' he sed.  'certainly,' I sed.
At stairing and saeing nuthing a bairfaest man, unspectacled, starts
scrach.  Then verry qieetly he puuld his sleev out of his poket
agen, and raezd his arm tords me as tho he wuud sho it to me
agen.  He did it verry, verry sloely.  I luukt at it.  Seemd an aej.
'well?' sed I, cleering mi throet, 'there's nuthing in it.'  Had to
sae sumthing.  I was begining to feel frietend.  I cuud see
riet doun it.  He extended it straet tords me, sloely, sloely
--just liek that--until th cuf was six inches frum mi faes.  Qeer
thing to see an empty sleev cum at U liek that!  And then--"
"Wel?"
"Sumthing--exactly liek a fingger and thum it felt--nipt mi noez."
Bunting began to laf.
"Thair wasn't enything thair!" sed Cuss, his vois runing up into a
shreek at th "thair."  "It's all verry wel for U to laf, but I
tel U I was so startld, I hit his cuf hard, and ternd round,
and cut out of th room--I left him--"
Cuss stopt.  Thair was no mistaeking th sinserrity of his panic.  He
ternd round in a helples wae and tuuk a second glas of th
exselent vicar's verry infeerior sherry.  "When I hit his cuf," sed
Cuss, "I tel U, it felt exactly liek hiting an arm.  And thair
wasn't an arm!  Thair wasn't th goest of an arm!"
Mr. Bunting thaut it oever.  He luukt suspishusly at Cuss.  "It's
a moest remarkabl story," he sed.  He luukt verry wiez and graev
indeed.  "It's reealy," sed Mr. Bunting with joodishal emfasis, "a
moest remarkabl story."
			      **********
			      Chapter 5
		     Th Berglary at th Vicarej
Th facts of th burlgary at th vicarej caem to us cheefly thru
th meedium of th vicar and his wief.  It ocurd in th small ours
of Whit-Monday--th dae devoeted in Iping to th Club festivitys.
Mrs. Bunting, it seems, woek up sudenly in th stilnes that cums
befor th daun, with th strong impreshun that th dor of thair
bedroom had oepend and cloezd.  She did not arouz her huzband at
ferst, but sat up in bed lisening.  She then distinktly herd th
pad, pad, pad of bair feet cuming out of th ajoining dresing-room
and wauking along th pasej tords th staircaes.  As soon as she
felt ashurd of this, she arouzd th Rev.  Mr. Bunting as qieetly as
posibl.  He did not striek a liet, but puuting on his spectacls,
her dresing-goun, and his bath slipers, he went out on th landing
to lisen.  He herd qiet distinktly a fumbling going on at his
study desk dounstairs, and then a vieolent sneez.
At that he reternd to his bedroom, armd himself with th moest
obvius wepon, th poeker, and desended th staircaes as noiselessly
as posibl.  Mrs. Bunting caem out on th landing.
Th our was about foer, and th ultimet darknes of th niet was
past.  Thair was a faent shimer of liet in th hall, but th study
dorwae yawned impenetrably blak.  Evrything was stil exsept th
faent creeking of th stairs under Mr. Bunting's tred, and th
sliet moovments in th study.  Then sumthing snapt, th dror
was oepend, and thair was a rusl of paepers.  Then caem an
imprecaeshun, and a mach was struk and th study was fluded with
yelo liet.  Mr. Bunting was now in th hall, and thru th crak
of th dor he cuud see th desk and th oepen dror and a candl
berning on th desk.  But th rober he cuud not see.  He stuud
thair in th hall undecided whut to do, and Mrs. Bunting, her faes
whiet and intent, crept sloely dounstairs after him.  Wun thing kept
up Mr.  Bunting's curej: th perswaezhun that this berglar was a
rezident in th vilej.
Thae herd th chink of muny, and realised that th rober had found
th houskeeping rezerv of goeld--too pounds ten in haf- sovrins
alltogether.  At that sound Mr. Bunting was nervd to abrupt acshun.
Griping th poeker fermly, he rusht into th room, cloesly foloed
bi Mrs. Bunting.  "Serender!" cried Mr. Bunting, feersly, and then
stopt amaezd.  Aparrently th room was perfectly empty.
Yet thair convicshun that thae had, that verry moement, herd sumbody
mooving in th room had amounted to a sertenty.  For haf a minit,
perhaps, thae stuud gaeping, then Mrs. Bunting went across th room
and luukt behiend th screen, whiel Mr. Bunting, bi a kindred
impuls, peerd under th desk.  Then Mrs. Bunting ternd bak th
windo-curtens, and Mr. Bunting luukt up th chimny and proebd it
with th poeker.  Then Mrs. Bunting scrutinised th waest-paeper basket
and Mr. Bunting oepend th lid of th coel-scutl.  Then thae caem
to a stop and stuud with ies interrogating eech uther.
"I cuud hav sworn--" sed Mr. Bunting.
"Th candl!" sed Mr. Bunting.  "Hoo lit th candl?"
"Th dror!" sed Mrs. Bunting.  "And th money's gon!"
She went haestily to th dorwae.
"Of all th extraordinairy ocurenses--"
Thair was a vieolent sneez in th pasej.  Thae rusht out, and as
thae did so th kichen dor slamd.  "Bring th candl," sed Mr.
Bunting, and led th wae.  Thae boeth herd a sound of boelts being
haestily shot bak.
As he oepend th kichen dor he saw thru th sculery that th
bak dor was just oepening, and th faent liet of erly daun
displaed th dark mases of th garden beyond.  He is serten that
nuthing went out of th dor.  It oepend, stuud oepen for a moement,
and then cloezd with a slam.  As it did so, th candl Mrs. Bunting
was carrying frum th study flikerd and flaird.  It was a minit or
mor befor thae enterd th kichen.
Th plaes was empty.  Thae refastened th bak dor, examind th
kichen, pantry, and sculery theroely, and at last went doun into
th selar.  Thair was not a soel to be found in th hous, serch as
thae wuud.
Daeliet found th vicar and his wief, a quaintly-costoomd litl
cupl, stil marveling about on thair oen ground flor bi th
unnesesairy liet of a guttering candl.
			      **********
			      Chapter 6
		     Th Fernicher That Went Mad
Now it hapend that in th erly ours of Whit-Monday, befor Millie
was hunted out for th dae, Mr. Hall and Mrs. Hall boeth roez and went
noiselessly doun into th selar.  Thair biznes thair was of a
prievet naecher, and had sumthing to do with th spesific gravity of
thair beer.  Thae had hardly enterd th selar when Mrs. Hall found
she had forgoten to bring doun a botl of sarsaparilla frum thair
joint-room.  As she was th expert and prinsipal operaetor in this
afair, Hall verry properly went upstairs for it.
On th landing he was serpriezd to see that th stranger's dor was
ajar.  He went on into his oen room and found th botl as he had
bin directed.
But reterning with th botl, he noetist that th boelts of th frunt
dor had bin shot bak, that th dor was in fact simply on th
lach.  And with a flash of inspiraeshun he conected this with th
stranger's room upstairs and th sugjeschuns of Mr. Teddy Henfrey.
He distinktly rememberd hoelding th candl whiel Mrs. Hall shot
thoes boelts oeverniet.  At th siet he stopt, gaeping, then with
th botl stil in his hand went upstairs agen.  He rapt at th
stranger's dor.  Thair was no anser.  He rapt agen; then puusht
th dor wied oepen and enterd.
It was as he expected.  Th bed, th room allso, was empty.  And whut
was straenjer, eeven to his hevy intelijens, on th bedroom chair
and along th rael of th bed wer scaterd th garments, th oenly
garments so far as he nue, and th bandejes of thair gest.  His big
slouch hat eeven was cokt jauntily oever th bed-poest.
As Hall stuud thair he herd his wife's vois cuming out of th depth
of th selar, with that rapid telescoeping of th silabls and
interogativ cocking up of th fienal werds to a hi noet, bi which
th West Sussex vilejer is wont to indicaet a brisk impaeshens.
"Gearge!  U gart whut a waand?"
At that he ternd and heryd doun to her.  "Janny," he sed, oever
th rael of th selar steps, "'tas th trooth whut Henfrey sez.  'e's
not in uz room, 'e ent.  And th frunt door's unbolted."
At ferst Mrs. Hall did not understand, and as soon as she did she
rezolvd to see th empty room for herself.  Hall, stil hoelding th
botl, went ferst.  "If 'e ent thair," he sed, "his cloes ar.  And
whut's 'e doin' without his cloes, then?  'tas a moest cuerius
basness."
As thae caem up th selar steps, thae boeth, it was afterwards
asertaend, fansyd thae herd th frunt dor oepen and shut, but
seeing it cloezd and nuthing thair, neether sed a werd to th uther
about it at th tiem.  Mrs. Hall past her huzband in th pasej
and ran on ferst upstairs.  Sum wun sneezd on th staircaes.  Hall,
foloeing six steps behiend, thaut that he herd her sneez.  She,
going on ferst, was under th impreshun that Hall was sneezing.  She
flung oepen th dor and stuud regarding th room.  "Of all th
cuerius!" she sed.
She herd a snif cloes behiend her hed as it seemd, and, terning,
was serpriezd to see Hall a duzen feet off on th top-moest stair.
But in anuther moement he was besied her.  She bent forward and puut
her hand on th pilo and then under th cloeths.
"Coeld," she sed.  "He's bin up this our or mor."
As she did so, a moest extraordinairy thing hapend--th bed- cloeths
gatherd themselvs together, lept up sudenly into a sort of peek,
and then jumpt hedlong oever th botom rael.  It was exactly as if
a hand had clucht them in th senter and flung them asied.
Imeedyetly after, th stranger's hat hopt off th bed-poest,
descriebing a wherling fliet in th air thru th beter part of a
sercl, and then dasht straet at Mrs. Hall's faes.  Then as
swiftly caem th spunj frum th woshstand; and then th chair,
flinging th stranger's coet and trouzers cairlesly asied, and
lafing driely in a vois singguelarly liek th stranger's, ternd
itself up with its foer legs at Mrs. Hall, seemd to taek aem at her
for a moement, and charjd at her.  She screemd and ternd, and then
th chair legs caem jently but fermly agenst her bak and impeld
her and Hall out of th room.  Th dor slamd vieolently and was
lokt.  Th chair and bed seemd to be execueting a dans of trieumf
for a moement, and then abruptly evrything was stil.
Mrs. Hall was left allmoest in a fainting condishun in Mr.  Hall's arms
on th landing.  It was with th graetest dificulty that Mr. Hall
and Millie, hoo had bin rouzd bi her screem of alarm, sucseeded in
geting her dounstairs, and aplieing th restoratives customairy in
thees caeses.
"'tas sperrits," sed Mrs. Hall.  "I noe 'tas sperrits.  I'v reed
in paepers of en.  Taebls and chairs leeping and dansing--!"
"Taek a drop mor, Janny," sed Hall.  "'twill stedy ye."
"Lok him out," sed Mrs. Hall.  "Don't let him cum in agen.  I
haf gest--I miet ha' noen.  With them goggling ies and
bandejd hed, and never going to cherch of a Sunday.  And all thae
botls--more'n it's riet for eny wun to hav.  He's puut th
sperrits into th fernicher.  Mi guud oeld fernicher!  'twas in that
verry chair mi pur deer muther uezd to sit when I was a litl gerl.
To think it shuud riez up agenst me now!"
"Just a drop mor, Janny," sed Hall.  "Yur nervs is all upset."
Thae sent Millie across th street thru th goelden fiev o'clok
sunshien to rouz up Mr. Sandy Wadgers, th blaksmith.  Mr.  Hall's
compliments and th fernicher upstairs was behaeving moest
extraordinairy.  Wuud Mr. Wadgers cum round?  He was a noeing man,
was Mr. Wadgers, and verry resorsful.  He tuuk qiet a graev vue of
th caes.  "Arm darmed ef thet ent wichcraft," was th vue of Mr.
Sandy Wadgers.  "U warnt horseshoes for such jentry as he."
He caem round graetly consernd.  Thae wonted him to leed th wae
upstairs to th room, but he didn't seem to be in eny hery.  He
preferd to tauk in th pasej.  Oever th wae Huxter's aprentis
caem out and began taeking doun th shuters of th tobaco windo.
He was calld oever to join th discushun.  Mr. Huxter nacheraly
foloed in th cors of a fue minits.  Th Anglo-Saxon jeenius for
parlamentery guvernment aserted itself; thair was a graet deel of
tauk and no desiesiv acshun.  "Let's hav th facts ferst," insisted
Mr. Sandy Wadgers.  "Let's be shur we'd be acting perfectly riet in
bustin' that thair dor oepen.  A dor onbust is allwaes oepen to
bustin', but ye can't onbust a dor wuns U'v busted en."
And sudenly and moest wunderfuly th dor of th room upstairs
oepend of its oen acord, and as thae luukt up in amaezment, thae
saw desending th stairs th mufld figuer of th straenjer stairing
mor blackly and blankly than ever with thoes unreezonably larj bloo
glas ies of his.  He caem doun stifly and sloely, stairing all th
tiem; he waukt across th pasej stairing, then stopt.
"Luuk thair!" he sed, and thair ies foloed th direcshun of his
gluvd fingger and saw a botl of sarsaparilla hard bi th selar
dor.  Then he enterd th parlour, and sudenly, swiftly, vishusly
slamd th dor in thair faeses.
Not a werd was spoeken until th last ekoes of th slam had died
awae.  Thae staird at wun anuther.  "Wel, if that don't lik
evrything!" sed Mr. Wadgers, and left th allternativ unsed.
"I'd go in and ask'n 'bout it," sed Wadgers, to Mr. Hall.  "I'd
d'mand an explanaeshun."
It tuuk sum tiem to bring th landlady's huzband up to that pich.
At last he rapt, oepend th dor, and got as far as, "Excues me--"
"Go to th devil!" sed th straenjer in a tremendus vois, and "Shut
that dor after U."  So that breef intervue terminaeted.
			      **********
			      Chapter 7
		    Th Unvaeling of th Straenjer
Th straenjer went into th litl parlour of th Coech and Horses
about haf-past fiev in th morning, and thair he remaend until neer
middae, th bliends doun, th dor shut, and nun, after Hall's
repuls, venchering neer him.
All that tiem he must hav fasted.  Thries he rang his bel, th
therd tiem fueriusly and continueusly, but no wun anserd him.  "Him
and his 'go to th devil' indeed!" sed Mrs. Hall.  Prezently caem an
imperfect rumour of th berglary at th vicarej, and too and too
wer puut together.  Hall, asisted bi Wadgers, went off to fiend Mr.
Shuckleforth, th majistraet, and taek his advies.  No wun vencherd
upstairs.  How th straenjer ocuepied himself is unnoen.  Now and
then he wuud stried vieolently up and doun, and twies caem an
outberst of curses, a tairing of paeper, and a vieolent smashing of
botls.
Th litl groop of scaird but cuerius peepl increest.  Mrs.
Huxter caem oever; sum gae yung feloes resplendent in blak redy-
maed jakets and piqu paeper ties, for it was Whit-Monday, joind th
groop with confuezd interrogations.  Yung Archie Harker
distinggwisht himself bi going up th yard and trieing to peep under
th windo-bliends.  He cuud see nuthing, but gaev reezon for
supoezing that he did, and uthers of th Iping yooth prezently joind
him.
It was th fienest of all posibl Whit-Mondays, and doun th vilej
street stuud a ro of neerly a duzen booths and a shooting galery,
and on th gras bi th forj wer three yelo and chocolet waggons
and sum pikcheresk straenjers of boeth sexes puuting up a cocoanut
shi.  Th jentlmen wor bloo jerzys, th laedys whiet aeprons and
qiet fashunabl hats with hevy plumes.  Wodger of th Perpl Faun
and Mr. Jagers th cobler, hoo allso soeld second-hand ordinairy
biesicls, wer streching a string of uenyon-jaks and roial ensiens
(which had orijinaly selebraeted th Joobilee) across th roed...
And insied, in th artifishal darknes of th parlour, into which
oenly wun thin jet of sunliet penetraeted, th straenjer, hunggry we
must supoez, and feerful, hiden in his uncumfortabl hot wrappings,
pord thru his dark glases upon his paeper or chinkt his derty
litl botls, and ocaezhunaly swor savejly at th bois, audibl
if invisibl, outsied th windoes.  In th corner bi th fierplaes
lae th fragments of haf a duzen smasht botls, and a punjent tang
of cloreen taented th air.  So much we noe frum whut was herd at
th tiem and frum whut was subseqently seen in th room.
About noon he sudenly oepend his parlour dor and stuud glairing
fixedly at th three or foer peepl in th bar.  "Mrs. Hall," he
sed.  Sumbody went sheepishly and calld for Mrs. Hall.
Mrs. Hall apeerd after an interval, a litl short of breth, but
all th fiercer for that.  Hall was stil out.  She had deliberated
oever th seen, and she caem hoelding a litl trae with an unsetld
bil upon it.  "Is it yur bil U'r wonting, ser?" she sed.
"Whi wasn't mi brekfast laed?  Whi havn't U prepaird mi meels and
anserd mi bel?  Do U think I liv without eeting?"
"Whi isn't mi bil paed?" sed Mrs. Hall.  "That's whut I wont to
noe."
"I toeld U three daes ago I was awaeting a remitans--"
"I toeld U too daes ago I wasn't going to awaet no remitanses.  U
can't grumbl if yur brekfast waets a bit, if mi bill's bin
waeting thees fiev daes, can U?"
Th straenjer swor breefly but vividly.
"Nar, nar!" frum th bar.
"And I'd thank U kiendly, ser, if U'd keep yur swairing to
yurself, ser," sed Mrs. Hall.
Th straenjer stuud luuking mor liek an anggry dieving-helmet than
ever.  It was ueniversaly felt in th bar that Mrs. Hall had th
beter of him.  His next werds shoed as much.
"Luuk heer, mi guud wuuman--" he began.
"Don't guud wuuman me," sed Mrs. Hall.
"I'v toeld U mi remitans hasn't cum--"
"Remitans indeed!" sed Mrs. Hall.
"Stil, I daresay in mi poket--"
"U toeld me too daes ago that U hadn't enything but a sovereign's
werth of silver upon U--"
"Wel, I'v found sum mor--"
"'ul-lo!" frum th bar.
"I wunder wherr U found it!" sed Mrs. Hall.
That seemd to anoi th straenjer verry much.  He stampt his fuut.
"Whut do U meen?" he sed.
"That I wunder wherr U found it," sed Mrs. Hall.  "And befor I
taek eny bils or get eny brekfasts, or do eny such things
whut-so-ever, U got to tel me wun or too things I don't understand,
and whut noebody don't understand, and whut evrybody is verry ankshus
to understand.  I wont noe whut U bin doing t' mi chair upstairs,
and I wont noe how 'tis yur room was empty, and how U got in
agen.  Them as stops in this hous cums in bi th dors--that's th
rool of th hous, and that U didn't do, and whut I wont noe is
how U did cum in.  And I wont noe--"
Sudenly th straenjer raezd his gluvd hands clencht, stampt his
fuut, and sed, "Stop!" with such extraordinairy vieolens that he
sielenst her instantly.
"U don't understand," he sed, "hoo I am or whut I am.  I'l sho
U.  Bi Heven!  I'l sho U."  Then he puut his oepen paam oever his
faes and withdroo it.  Th senter of his faes becaem a blak cavity.
"Heer," he sed.  He stept forward and handed Mrs. Hall sumthing
which she, stairing at his metamorfoezd faes, acsepted automaticaly.
Then, when she saw whut it was, she screemd loudly, dropt it, and
stagerd bak.  Th noez--it was th stranger's noez!  pink and
shiening--roeld on th flor.
Then he remoovd his spectacls, and evry wun in th bar gaspt.  He
tuuk off his hat, and with a vieolent jescher tore at his whiskers and
bandejes.  For a moement thae rezisted him.  A flash of horribl
antisipaeshun past thru th bar.  "O, mi Gard!" sed sum wun.
Then off thae caem.
It was wers than enything.  Mrs. Hall, standing oepen-mouthd and
horror-struk, shreekt at whut she saw, and maed for th dor of th
hous.  Evry wun began to moov.  Thae wer prepaird for scars,
disfigurements, tanjibl horrors, but nuthing!  Th bandejes and
falls hair floo across th pasej into th bar, maeking a hobbledehoy
jump to avoid them.  Evry wun tumbld on evry wun els doun th
steps.  For th man hoo stuud thair shouting sum incoeheerent
explanaeshun, was a solid jesticuelaeting figuer up to th coet-colar
of him, and then--nuthingnes, no vizibl thing at all!
Peepl doun th vilej herd shouts and shrieks, and luuking up th
street saw th Coech and Horses vieolently fiering out its huemanity.
Thae saw Mrs. Hall fall doun and Mr. Teddy Henfrey jump to avoid
tumbling oever her, and then thae herd th frietful screems of
Millie, hoo, emerjing sudenly frum th kichen at th noiz of th
toomult, had cum upon th hedles straenjer frum behiend.
Forthwith evry wun all doun th street, th sweet-stuf seler,
cocoanut shi proprieetor and his asistant, th swing man, litl bois
and gerls, rustic dandys, smart wenches, smocked elders and aproned
gipsies, began runing tords th in; and in a miracuelusly short
spaes of tiem a croud of perhaps forty peepl, and rapidly
increesing, swaed and hooted and inqierd and exclaemd and
sugjested, in frunt of Mrs. Hall's establishment.  Evry wun seemd
eeger to tauk at wuns, and th rezult was babel.  A small groop
suported Mrs. Hall, hoo was pikt up in a staet of colaps.  Thair
was a conferens, and th incredibl evidens of a voesiferus
iewitnes.  "O'bogey!"  "Whut's he bin doin', then?"  "Ain't hert
th gerl, 'as 'e?"  "Run at en with a nief, I beleev."  "No 'ed, I
tel ye.  I don't meen no maner of speeking, I meen marn 'without a'
ed!"  "Narnsense! 'tas sum conjuring trik."  "Fetched off 'is
wrappin's, 'e did--"
In its strugls to see in thru th oepen dor, th croud formd
itself into a stragling wej, with th mor advencherus aepex
neerest th in.  "He stuud for a moement, I heerd th gal screem, and
he ternd.  I saw her skerts whisk, and he went after her.  Didn't
taek ten seconds.  Bak he cums with a nief in uz hand and a loef;
stuud just as if he was stairing.  Not a moement ago.  Went in that
thair dor.  I tel 'e, 'e ain't gart no 'ed 't all.  U just mist
en--"
Thair was a disterbans behiend, and th speeker stopt to step asied
for a litl proseshun that was marching verry rezolootly tords th
hous--ferst Mr. Hall, verry red and determind, then Mr.  Bobby
Jaffers, th vilej constabl, and then th wairy Mr. Wadgers.  Thae
had cum now armd with a warant.
Peepl shouted conflicting informaeshun of th reesent sercumstanses.
"'ed or no 'ed," sed Jaffers, "I got to 'rest en, and 'rest en I
wil."
Mr. Hall marcht up th steps, marcht straet to th dor of th
parlour and flung it oepen.  "Constabl," he sed, "do yur duety."
Jaffers marcht in, Hall next, Wadgers last.  Thae saw in th dim
liet th hedles figuer faesing them, with a nawd crust of bred
in wun gluvd hand and a chunk of cheez in th uther.
"That's him!" sed Hall.
"Whut th devil's this?" caem in a toen of anggry exposchulaeshun frum
abuv th colar of th figuer.
"U'r a damd rum customer, mister," sed Mr. Jaffers.  "But 'ed
or no 'ed, th warant ses 'body,' and duty's duety--"
"Keep off!" sed th figuer, starting bak.
Abruptly he whipt doun th bred and cheez, and Mr. Hall just
graspt th nief on th taebl in tiem to saev it.  Off caem th
stranger's left gluv and was slapt in Jaffers' faes.  In anuther
moement Jaffers, cuting short sum staetment conserning a warant,
had gript him bi th handles rist and caut his invisibl
throet.  He got a sounding kik on th shin that maed him shout, but
he kept his grip.  Hall sent th nief slieding along th taebl to
Wadgers, hoo acted as goel-keeper for th ofensiv, so to speek, and
then stept forward as Jaffers and th straenjer swaed and stagerd
tords him, cluching and hiting in.  A chair stuud in th wae, and
went asied with a crash as thae caem doun together.
"Get th feet," sed Jaffers between his teeth.
Mr. Hall, endevoring to act on instrucshuns, reseeving a sounding
kik in th ribs that dispoezd of him for a moement, and Mr.  Wadgers,
seeing th decapitaeted straenjer had roeld oever and got th uper
sied of Jaffers, retreeted tords th dor, nief in hand, and so
colieded with Mr. Huxter and th Siddermorton carter cuming to th
rescue of law and order.  At th saem moement doun caem three or foer
botls frum th shifoneer and shot a web of punjensy into th air
of th room.
"I'l serender," cried th straenjer, tho he had Jaffers doun, and
in anuther moement he stuud up panting, a straenj figuer, hedles and
handles--for he had puuld off his riet gluv now as wel as his
left.  "It's no guud," he sed, as if sobing for breth.
It was th straenjest thing in th werld to heer that vois cuming as
if out of empty spaes, but th Sussex pezants ar perhaps th moest
mater-of-fact peepl under th sun.  Jaffers got up allso and
produest a pair of handcufs.  Then he started.
"I sae!" sed Jaffers, braut up short bi a dim realisation of th
inconggrooity of th hoel biznes.  "Darm it!  Can't ues 'em as I can
see."
Th straenjer ran his arm doun his waestcoet, and as if bi a miracl
th butons to which his empty sleev pointed becaem undun.  Then he
sed sumthing about his shin, and stoopt doun.  He seemd to be
fumbling with his shoos and soks.
"Whi!" sed Huxter, sudenly, "that's not a man at all.  It's just
empty cloeths.  Luuk!  U can see doun his colar and th linings of
his cloeths.  I cuud puut mi arm--"
He extended his hand; it seemd to meet sumthing in mid-air, and he
droo it bak with a sharp exclamaeshun.  "I wish U'd keep yur
finggers out of mi ie," sed th airial vois, in a toen of savej
exposchulaeshun.  "Th fact is, I'm all heer: hed, hands, legs, and
all th rest of it, but it hapens I'm invisibl.  It's a confounded
nuesans, but I am.  That's no reezon whi I shuud be poekt to peeses
bi evry stoopid bumpkin in Iping, is it?"
Th soot of cloeths, now all unbuttoned and hanging loosly upon its
unseen suports, stuud up, arms akimbo.
Several uther of th men foeks had now enterd th room, so that it
was cloesly crouded.  "Invisibl, eigh?" sed Huxter, ignoring th
stranger's abuez.  "Hoo ever herd th lieks of that?"
"It's straenj, perhaps, but it's not a criem.  Whi am I asallted bi
a poleesman in this fashun?"
"Aa! that's a diferent mater," sed Jaffers.  "No dout U ar a
bit dificult to see in this liet, but I got a warant, and it's all
corect.  Whut I'm after ain't no invizibility--it's berglary.
Thair's a hous bin broeken into and muny tuuk."
"Wel?"
"And sercumstanses sertenly point--"
"Stuf and nonsens!" sed th Invisibl Man.
"I hoep so, ser; but I'v got mi instrucshuns."
"Wel," sed th straenjer, "I'l cum.  I'l cum.  But no
handcufs."
"It's th reguelar thing," sed Jaffers.
"No handcufs," stipulated th straenjer.
"Pardon me," sed Jaffers.
Abruptly th figuer sat doun, and befor eny wun cuud realise whut
was being dun, th slipers, soks, and trouzers had bin kikt off
under th taebl.  Then he sprang up agen and flung off his coet.
"Heer, stop that," sed Jaffers, sudenly realising whut was
hapening.  He gript th waest-coet; it strugld, and th shert
slipt out of it and left it limp and empty in his hand.  "Hoeld
him!"  sed Jaffers loudly.  "Wuns he gets thae things off--!"
"Hoeld him!" cried evry wun, and thair was a rush at th flutering
whiet shert which was now all that was vizibl of th straenjer.
Th shert-sleev planted a shrood blo in Hall's faes that stopt
his oepen-armd advans, and sent him bakward into oeld Toothsum th
sexton, and in anuther moement th garment was lifted up and becaem
convulst and vacantly flaping about th arms, eeven as a shert that
is being thrust oever a man's hed.  Jaffers clucht at it, and oenly
helpt to puul it off; he was struk in th mouth out of th air, and
incontinently droo his trunchen and smoet Teddy Henfrey savejly
upon th croun of his hed.
"Luuk out!" sed evrybody, fensing at random and hiting at nuthing.
"Hoeld him!  Shut th dor!  Don't let him loos!  I got sumthing!
Heer he is!"  A perfect babel of noizes thae maed.  Evrybody, it
seemd, was being hit all at wuns, and Sandy Wadgers, noeing as ever
and his wits sharpend bi a frietful blo in th noez, re-oepend th
dor and led th rout.  Th uthers, foloeing incontinently, wer
jamd for a moement in th corner bi th dorwae.  Th hiting
continued.  Phipps, th Unitarian, had a frunt tooth broeken, and
Henfrey was injerd in th cartilej of his eer.  Jaffers was struk
under th jaw, and, terning, caut at sumthing that interveend
between him and Huxter in th mle, and prevented thair cuming
together.  He felt a muscuelar chest, and in anuther moement th hoel
mas of strugling, exsieted men shot out into th crouded hall.
"I got him!" shouted Jaffers, choeking and reeling thru them all,
and resling with perpl faes and sweling vaens agenst his unseen
enemy.
Men stagerd riet and left as th extraordinairy conflict swaed
swiftly tords th hous dor, and went spining doun th haf-duzen
steps of th in.  Jaffers cried in a stranggld vois-- hoelding
tiet, nevertheles, and maeking plae with his nee--spun round, and
fel hevily undermost with his hed on th gravel.  Oenly then did
his finggers relax.
Thair wer exsieted cries of "Hoeld him!"  "Invisibl!"  and so forth,
and a yung felo, a straenjer in th plaes hoos naem did not cum
to liet, rusht in at wuns, caut sumthing, mist his hoeld, and
fel oever th constable's prostraet body.  Hafwae across th roed, a
wuuman screemd as sumthing puusht bi her; a daug, kikt aparrently,
yelpt and ran houling into Huxter's yard, and with that th transit
of th Invisibl Man was acomplisht.  For a spaes peepl stuud
amaezd and jesticuelaeting, and then caem Panic, and scaterd them
abraud thru th vilej as a gust scaters ded leevs.
But Jaffers lae qiet stil, faes upward and nees bent.
			      **********
			      Chapter 8
			      In Transit
Th aetth chapter is exseedingly breef, and relaets that Gibbins,
th amachur nacheralist of th district, whiel lieing out on th
spaeshus oepen douns without a soel within a cupl of miels of him,
as he thaut, and allmoest doezing, herd cloes to him th sound as of
a man caufing, sneezing, and then swairing savejly to himself; and
luuking, beheld nuthing.  Yet th vois was indispuetabl.  It
continued to swair with that bredth and varieety that distinggwishes
th swairing of a cultivaeted man.  It groo to a cliemax, diminisht
agen, and died awae in th distans, going as it seemd to him in
th direcshun of Adderdean.  It lifted to a spazmodic sneez and
ended.  Gibbins had herd nuthing of th morning's ocurenses, but
th fenomenon was so strieking and disterbing that his filosofical
tranquillity vanisht; he got up haestily, and heryd doun th
steepness of th hil tords th vilej, as fast as he cuud go.
			      **********
			      Chapter 9
			  Mr. Thomas Marvel
U must pikcher Mr. Thomas Marvel as a person of coepius, flexibl
vizej, a noez of silindrical proetroozhun, a liquorish, ampl,
flukchuaeting mouth, and a beerd of brisling ecsentrisity.  His figuer
incliend to embonpoint; his short lims acsenchuaeted this inclinaeshun.
He wor a fery silk hat, and th freeqent substitueshun of twien and
shoo-laeses for butons, aparrent at critical points of his costoom,
markt a man esenshaly bachelor.
Mr. Thomas Marvel was siting with his feet in a dich bi th
roedsied oever th doun tord Adderdean, about a miel and a haf out
of Iping.  His feet, saev for soks of irreguelar oepenwerk, wer bair,
his big toes wer braud, and prikt liek th eers of a wochful daug.
In a leezherly maner--he did evrything in a leezherly maner--he
was contemplaeting trieing on a pair of boots.  Thae wer th soundest
boots he had cum across for a long tiem, but too larj for him;
wherras th wuns he had wer, in dri wether, a verry cumfortabl fit,
but too thin-soled for damp.  Mr. Thomas Marvel haeted roomy boots,
but then he haeted damp.  He had never properly thaut out which he
haeted moest, and it was a plezant dae, and thair was nuthing beter
to do.  So he puut th foer boots in a graesful groop on th terf and
luukt at them.  And seeing them thair amung th gras and springing
agrimony, it sudenly ocurd to him that boeth pairs wer
exseedingly ugly to see.  He was not at all startld bi a vois
behiend him.
"Thae'r boots, enyhow," sed th vois.
"Thae ar--charrity boots," sed Mr. Thomas Marvel, with his hed on
wun sied regarding them distaestfuly; "and which is th ugliest pair
in th hoel blesed uenivers, I'm darnd if I noe!"
"H'm," sed th vois.
"I'v worn wers--in fact, I'v worn nun.  But nun so owdacious
ugly--if U'l alow th expreshun.  I'v bin cadging boots--in
particuelar--for daes.  Becauz I was sik of them.  Thae'r sound
enuf, of cors.  But a jentlman on tramp sees such a thundering
lot of his boots.  And if U'l beleev me, I'v raezd nuthing in
th hoel blesed county, tri as I wuud, but THEM.  Luuk at 'em!
And a guud county for boots, too, in a jeneral wae.  But it's just mi
promsicueus luk.  I'v got mi boots in this county ten yeers or
mor.  And then thae treet U liek this."
"It's a beest of a county," sed th vois.  "And pigs for peepl."
"Ain't it?" sed Mr. Thomas Marvel.  "Lord!  But them boots!  It
beets it."
He ternd his hed oever his shoelder to th riet, to luuk at th
boots of his interlocuetor with a vue to comparrisons, and lo!  wherr
th boots of his interlocuetor shuud hav bin wer neether legs nor
boots.  He ternd his hed oever his shoelder to th left, and thair
allso wer neether legs nor boots.  He was irraediaeted bi th daun of a
graet amaezment.  "Wherr ar yar?"  sed Mr. Thomas Marvel oever his
shoelder and cuming round on all foers.  He saw a strech of empty
douns with th wind swaeing and remoet green-pointed furze buushes.
"Am I drunk?" sed Mr. Marvel.  "Hav I had vizhuns?  Was I tauking
to mieself?  Whut th--"
"Don't be alarmd," sed a vois.
"Nun of yur ventriloquising me," sed Mr. Thomas Marvel, riezing
sharply to his feet.  "Wherr ar yer?  Alarmd, indeed!"
"Don't be alarmd," repeeted th vois.
"U'l be alarmd in a minit, U sily fool," sed Mr.  Thomas
Marvel.  "Wherr ar yer?  Lemme get mi mark on yer--
"Ar U berryd?" sed Mr. Thomas Marvel, after an interval.
Thair was no anser.  Mr. Thomas Marvel stuud bootles and amaezd,
his jaket neerly throen off.
"Peewit," sed a peewit, verry remoet.
"Peewit, indeed!" sed Mr. Thomas Marvel.  "This ain't no tiem for
foolery."  Th doun was desolet, eest and west, north and south; th
roed with its shalo diches and whiet bordering staeks, ran smooth
and empty north and south, and, saev for that peewit, th bloo skie
was empty too.  "So help me," sed Mr. Thomas Marvel, shufling his
coet on to his shoelders agen.  "It's th drink!  I miet ha'
noen."
"It's not th drink," sed th vois.  "U keep yur nervs stedy."
"Ow!" sed Mr. Marvel, and his faes groo whiet amidst its paches.
"It's th drink," his lips repeeted noiselessly.  He remaend stairing
about him, roetaeting sloely bakwards.  "I cuud hav swor I herd a
vois," he whisperd.
"Of cors U did."
"It's thair agen," sed Mr. Marvel, cloezing his ies and clasping
his hand on his brow with a trajic jescher.  He was sudenly taeken bi
th colar and shaeken vieolently and left mor daezd than ever.
"Don't be a fool," sed th vois.
"I'm--off--mi--blooming--chump," sed Mr. Marvel.  "It's no guud.
It's freting about them blarsted boots.  I'm off mi blesed blooming
chump.  Or it's spirits."
"Neether wun thing nor th uther," sed th vois.  "Lisen!"
"Chump," sed Mr. Marvel.
"Wun minit," sed th vois penetratingly,--tremuelus with
self-controel.
"Wel?" sed Mr. Thomas Marvel, with a straenj feeling of having bin
dug in th chest bi a fingger.
"U think I'm just imajinaeshun?  Just imajinaeshun?"
"Whut els can U be?" sed Mr. Thomas Marvel, rubing th bak of
his nek.
"Verry wel," sed th vois, in a toen of releef.  "Then I'm going to
thro flints at U til U think diferently."
"But wherr ar yer?"
Th vois maed no anser.  Whiz caem a flint, aparrently out of th
air, and mist Mr. Marvel's shoelder bi a hair's bredth.  Mr.
Marvel, terning, saw a flint jerk up into th air, traes a
complicaeted path, hang for a moement, and then fling at his feet with
allmoest invisibl rapidity.  He was too amaezd to doj.  Whiz it
caem, and ricoshaed frum a bair toe into th dich.  Mr. Thomas
Marvel jumpt a fuut and hould aloud.  Then he started to run,
tript oever an unseen obstacl, and caem hed oever heels into a
siting pozishun.
"Now," sed th vois, as a therd stoen curvd upward and hung in th
air abuv th tramp.  "Am I imajinaeshun?"
Mr. Marvel bi wae of repli strugld to his feet, and was imeedyetly
roeld oever agen.  He lae qieet for a moement.  "If U strugl eny
mor," sed th vois, "I shal thro th flint at yur hed."
"It's a fair do," sed Mr. Thomas Marvel, siting up, taeking his
woonded toe in hand and fixing his ie on th therd missle.  "I don't
understand it.  Stoens flinging themselvs.  Stoens tauking.  Puut
yurself doun.  Rot awae.  I'm dun."
Th therd flint fel.
"It's verry simpl," sed th vois.  "I'm an invisibl man."
"Tel us sumthing I don't noe," sed Mr. Marvel, gasping with paen.
"Wherr U'v hid--how U do it--I don't noe, I'm beet."
"That's all," sed th vois.  "I'm invisibl.  That's whut I wont
U to understand."
"Eny wun cuud see that.  Thair is no need for U to be so
confounded impaeshent, mister.  Now then.  Giv us a noeshun.  How ar
U hid?"
"I'm invisibl.  That's th graet point.  And whut I wont U to
understand is this--"
"But wherrabouts?" interupted Mr. Marvel.
"Heer!  Six yards in frunt of U."
"O, cum!  I ain't bliend.  U'l be teling me next U'r just
thin air.  I'm not wun of yur ignorant tramps--"
"Yes, I am--thin air.  U'r luuking thru me."
"Whut!  Ain't thair eny stuf to U?  Vox et--whut is it?-- jaber.
Is it that?
"I am just a hueman being--solid, needing food and drink, needing
cuvering too--But I'm invisibl.  U see?  Invisibl.  Simpl iedeea.
Invisibl."
"Whut, reeal liek?"
"Yes, reeal."
"Let's hav a hand of U," sed Marvel, "if U ar reeal.  It woen't
be so darn out-of-th-wae liek, then--Lord!" he sed, "how U maed
me jump!--griping me liek that!"
He felt th hand that had cloezd round his rist with his disengaged
finggers, and his tuch went timorusly up th arm, pated a muscuelar
chest, and explord a beerded faes.  Marvel's faes was astonishment.
"I'm dasht!" he sed.  "If this don't beet cok-fieting!  Moest
remarkabl!--And thair I can see a rabit cleen thru U, 'arf a
miel awae!  Not a bit of U vizibl--exsept--"
He scrutinised th aparrently empty spaes keenly.  "U 'aven't bin
eatin' bred and cheez?" he askt, hoelding th invisibl arm.
"U'r qiet riet, and it's not qiet asimilaeted into th sistem."
"Aa!" sed Mr. Marvel.  "Sort of goestly, tho."
"Of cors, all this isn't so wunderful as U think."
"It's qiet wunderful enuf for mi modest wonts," sed Mr.  Thomas
Marvel.  "Howjer manej it?  How th dooce is it dun?"
"It's too long a story.  And besieds--"
"I tel U, th hoel biznes fair beets me," sed Mr.  Marvel.
"Whut I wont to sae at prezent is this: I need help.  I hav cum to
that--I caem upon U sudenly.  I was waandering, mad with raej,
naeked, impotent.  I cuud hav merderd.  And I saw U--"
"Lord!" sed Mr. Marvel.
"I caem up behiend U--hezitaeted--went on--"
Mr. Marvel's expreshun was eloqent.
"--then stopt.  'here,' I sed, 'is an outcast liek mieself.  This
is th man for me.'  So I ternd bak and caem to U--U.  And--"
"Lord!" sed Mr. Marvel.  "But I'm all in a dizy.  Mae I ask--How is
it?  And whut U mae be reqiering in th wae of help?-- Invisibl!"
"I wont U to help me get cloeths--and shelter--and then, with uther
things.  I'v left them long enuf.  If U woen't--wel!  But U
wil--must."
"Luuk heer," sed Mr. Marvel.  "I'm too flabbergasted.  Don't nok
me about eny mor.  And leev me go.  I must get stedy a bit.  And
U'v prity neer broeken mi toe.  It's all so unreezonabl.  Empty
douns, empty skie.  Nuthing vizibl for miels exsept th buuzom of
Naecher.  And then cums a vois.  A vois out of heven!  And stoens!
And a fist--Lord!"
"Puul yurself together," sed th vois, "for U hav to do th job
I'v choezen for U."
Mr. Marvel bloo out his cheeks, and his ies wer round.
"I'v choezen U," sed th vois.  "U ar th oenly man, exsept
sum of thoes fools doun thair, hoo noes thair is such a thing as an
invisibl man.  U hav to be mi helper.  Help me--and I wil do
graet things for U.  An invisibl man is a man of power."  He
stopt for a moement to sneez vieolently.
"But if U betrae me," he sed, "if U fael to do as I direct
U--"
He pauzd and tapt Mr. Marvel's shoelder smartly.  Mr.  Marvel gaev
a yelp of terror at th tuch.  "I don't wont to betrae U," sed
Mr. Marvel, ejing awae frum th direcshun of th finggers.  "Don't
U go a-thinking that, whutever U do.  All I wont to do is to help
U--just tel me whut I got to do.  (Lord!)  Whutever U wont dun,
that I'm moest wiling to do."
			      **********
			      Chapter 10
		     Mr. Marvel's Vizit to Iping
After th ferst gusty panic had spent itself Iping becaem
arguementativ.  Skeptisizm sudenly reerd its hed--rather nervus
skeptisizm, not at all ashurd of its bak, but skeptisizm neverthe-
les.  It is so much eezyer not to beleev in an invisibl man; and
thoes hoo had akchualy seen him dizolv into air, or felt th
strength of his arm, cuud be counted on th finggers of too hands.
And of thees witneses Mr. Wadgers was prezently mising, having
retierd impregnably behiend th boelts and bars of his oen hous, and
Jaffers was lieing stund in th parlour of th Coech and Horses.
Graet and straenj iedeeas transending expeeryens offen hav les
efect upon men and wimen than smaller, mor tanjibl consideraeshuns.
Iping was gae with bunting, and evrybody was in gaela dres.
Whit-Monday had bin luukt forward to for a munth or mor.  Bi th
afternoon eeven thoes hoo beleevd in th Unseen wer begining to
rezoom thair litl amuezments in a tentativ fashun, on th
supozishun that he had qiet gon awae, and with th sceptics he was
allredy a jest.  But peepl, sceptics and beleevers aliek, wer
remarkably soeshabl all that dae.
Haysman's medo was gae with a tent, in which Mrs. Bunting and uther
laedys wer prepairing tee, whiel, without, th Sunday-scool children
ran raeses and plaed gaems under th noizy giedans of th cueret and
th Mises Cuss and Sackbut.  No dout thair was a sliet uneezynes
in th air, but peepl for th moest part had th sens to conseel
whutever imajinativ qaams thae expeeryenst.  On th vilej green
an incliend string, doun which, clinging th whiel to a puuly- swung
handl, wun cuud be herld vieolently agenst a sak at th uther
end, caem in for considerabl faevor amung th adolesent.  Thair
wer swings and cocoanut shies and promenading, and th steem organ
atacht to th swings fild th air with a punjent flavour of oil
and with eeqaly punjent muezic.  Members of th Club, hoo had
atended cherch in th morning, wer splendid in bajes of pink and
green, and sum of th gayer-miended had allso adornd thair boeler
hats with brilyant-culord favours of ribon.  Oeld Fletcher, hoos
consepshuns of holidae-maeking wer seveer, was vizibl thru th
jazmin about his windo or thru th oepen dor (whichever wae U
choez to luuk), poizd deliketly on a plank suported on too chairs,
and whitewashing th seeling of his frunt room.
About foer o'clok a straenjer enterd th vilej frum th direcshun
of th douns.  He was a short, stout person in an extraorindarily
shaby top hat, and he apeerd to be verry much out of breth.  His
cheeks wer allternetly limp and tietly puft.  His motld faes
was apprenhensive, and he moovd with a sort of reluctant alacrity.
He ternd th corner bi th cherch, and directed his wae to th Coech
and Horses.  Amung uthers oeld Fletcher remembers seeing him, and
indeed th oeld jentlman was so struk bi his pecuelyar ajitaeshun that
he inadvertently alowd a qontity of whietwosh to run doun th
brush into th sleev of his coet whiel regarding him.
This straenjer, to th persepshuns of th proprieetor of th cocoanut
shi, apeerd to be tauking to himself, and Mr. Huxter remarkt th
saem thing.  He stopt at th fuut of th Coech and Horses steps,
and, acording to Mr. Huxter, apeerd to undergo a seveer internal
strugl befor he cuud indues himself to enter th hous.  Fienaly
he marcht up th steps, and was seen bi Mr. Huxter to tern to th
left and oepen th dor of th parlour.  Mr. Huxter herd voises frum
within th room and frum th bar apprising th man of his error.
"That room's prievet!" sed Hall, and th straenjer shut th dor
clumzily and went into th bar.
In th cors of a fue minits he re-apeerd, wieping his lips with
th bak of his hand with an air of qieet satisfacshun that sumhow
imprest Mr. Huxter as asoomd.  He stuud luuking about him for sum
moements, and then Mr. Huxter saw him wauk in an odly fertiv maner
tords th gaets of th yard, upon which th parlour windo oepend.
Th straenjer, after sum hezitaeshun, lent agenst wun of th
gaet-poests, produest a short clae piep, and prepaird to fil it.  His
finggers trembld whiel doing so.  He lit it clumzily, and foelding his
arms began to smoek in a langgwid atitued, an atitued which his
ocaezhunal qik glanses up th yard alltogether belied.
All this Mr. Huxter saw oever th canisters of th tobaco windo, and
th singguelarrity of th man's behaevuer prompted him to maentaen his
obzervaeshun.
Prezently th straenjer stuud up abruptly and puut his piep in his
poket.  Then he vanisht into th yard.  Forthwith Mr. Huxter,
conseeving he was witnes of sum pety larseny, lept round his
counter and ran out into th roed to intersept th theef.  As he did
so, Mr. Marvel re-apeerd, his hat askue, a big bundl in a bloo
taebl-clauth in wun hand, and three buuks tied together--as it proovd
afterwards with th Vicar's braeses--in th uther.  Directly he saw
Huxter he gaev a sort of gasp, and terning sharply to th left, began
to run.  "Stop theef!" cried Huxter, and set off after him.  Mr.
Huxter's sensaeshuns wer vivid but breef.  He saw th man just befor
him and sperting briskly for th cherch corner and th hil roed.  He
saw th vilej flags and festivitys beyond, and a faes or so ternd
tords him.  He balld, "Stop!" agen.  He had hardly gon ten
strieds befor his shin was caut in sum misteerius fashun, and he
was no longger runing, but flieing with inconseevabl rapidity thru
th air.  He saw th ground sudenly cloes to his faes.  Th werld
seemd to splash into a milyon wherling speks of liet, and
subseqent proseedings interested him no mor.
			      **********
			      Chapter 11
		       In th Coech and Horses
Now in order cleerly to understand whut had hapend in th in, it
is nesesairy to go bak to th moement when Mr. Marvel ferst caem into
vue of Mr. Huxter's windo.  At that presies moement Mr.  Cuss and
Mr. Bunting wer in th parlour.  Thae wer seeriusly investigaeting
th straenj ocurenses of th morning, and wer, with Mr. Hall's
permishun, maeking a thero examinaeshun of th Invisibl Man's
belongings.  Jaffers had parshaly recuverd frum his fall and had
gon hoem in th charj of his simpathetic frends.  Th stranger's
scaterd garments had bin remoovd bi Mrs. Hall and th room tiedyd
up.  And on th taebl under th windo wherr th straenjer had bin
wont to werk, Cuss had hit allmoest at wuns on three big buuks in
manuescript laebeld "Dieery."
"Dieery!" sed Cuss, puuting th three buuks on th taebl.  "Now, at
eny raet, we shal lern sumthing."  Th Vicar stuud with his hands
on th taebl.
"Dieery," repeeted Cuss, siting doun, puuting too voluems to suport
th therd, and oepening it.  "H'm--no naem on th fli-leef.
Bother!--cypher.  And figuers."
Th Vicar caem round to luuk oever his shoelder.
Cuss ternd th paejes oever with a faes sudenly disapointed.
"I'm--deer me!  It's all cypher, Bunting."
"Thair ar no dieagrams?" askt Mr. Bunting.  "No ilustraeshuns
throeing liet--"
"See for yurself," sed Mr. Cuss.  "Sum of it's mathematical and
sum of it's Russian or sum such langgwej (to juj bi th leters),
and sum of it's Greek.  Now th Greek I thaut U--"
"Of cors," sed Mr. Bunting, taeking out and wieping his spectacls
and feeling sudenly verry uncumfortabl,--for he had no Greek left in
his miend werth tauking about; "yes--th Greek, of cors, mae fernish
a cloo."
"I'l fiend U a plaes."
"I'd rather glans thru th voluems ferst," sed Mr.  Bunting,
stil wieping.  "A jeneral impreshun ferst, Cuss, and then, U noe,
we can go luuking for cloos."
He cauft, puut on his glases, araenjd them fastidiously, cauft
agen, and wisht sumthing wuud hapen to avert th seemingly
inevitabl expoezher.  Then he tuuk th voluem Cuss handed him in a
leezherly maner.  And then sumthing did hapen.
Th dor oepend sudenly.
Boeth jentlmen started vieolently, luukt around, and wer releevd to
see a sporadically roezy faes beneeth a fery silk hat.  "Tap?" askt
th faes, and stuud stairing.
"No," sed boeth jentlmen at wuns.
"Oever th uther sied, mi man," sed Mr. Bunting.  And "Pleez shut
that dor," sed Mr. Cuss iritably.
"All riet," sed th introoder, as it seemd, in a lo vois
cueriusly diferent frum th huskynes of its ferst enqiery.  "Riet
U ar," sed th introoder in th former vois.  "Stand cleer!" and
he vanisht and cloezd th dor.
"A saelor, I shuud juj," sed Mr. Bunting.  "Amuezing feloes thae
ar.  Stand cleer! indeed.  A nautical term refering to his geting
bak out of th room, I supoez."
"I daresay so," sed Cuss.  "Mi nervs ar all loos to-dae.  It
qiet maed me jump--th dor oepening liek that."
Mr. Bunting smield as if he had not jumpt.  "And now," he sed with
a si, "thees buuks."
"Wun minit," sed Cuss, and went and lokt th dor.  "Now I think
we ar saef frum interupshun."
Sum wun snift as he did so.
"Wun thing is indispuetabl," sed Bunting, drawing up a chair next to
that of Cuss.  "Thair sertenly hav bin verry straenj things hapen
in Iping during th last fue daes--verry straenj.  I cannot of cors
beleev in this abserd invizibility story--"
"It's incredibl," sed Cuss, "--incredibl.  But th fact remaens
that I saw--I sertenly saw riet doun his sleev--"
"But did U--ar U shur?  Supoez a miror, for instans,--
haloosinaeshuns ar so eezily produest.  I don't noe if U hav ever
seen a reealy guud conjuror--"
"I woen't argue agen," sed Cuss.  "We'v thrasht that out, Bunting.
And just now thair's thees buuks--Aa! heer's sum of whut I taek to
be Greek!  Greek leters sertenly."
He pointed to th midl of th paej.  Mr. Bunting flusht slietly
and braut his faes neerer, aparrently fiending sum dificulty with
his glases.  Sudenly he becaem awair of a straenj feeling at th
nape of his nek.  He tried to raez his hed, and encounterd an
imoovabl rezistans.  Th feeling was a cuerius presher, th grip
of a hevy, ferm hand, and it bor his chin irrezistibly to th
taebl.  "Don't moov, litl men," whisperd a vois, "or I'l braen
U boeth!"  He luukt into th faes of Cuss, cloes to his oen, and
eech saw a horrified reflecshun of his oen sikly astonishment.
"I'm sorry to handl U rufly," sed th Vois, "but it's
unavoidabl.
"Sinss when did U lern to pri into an investigator's prievet
memoranda?" sed th Vois; and too chins struk th taebl
siemultaeniusly and too sets of teeth ratld.
"Sinss when did U lern to invaed th prievet rooms of a man in
misforchen?" and th concushun was repeeted.
"Wherr hav thae puut mi cloeths?
"Lisen," sed th Vois.  "Th windoes ar fasend and I'v taeken
th kee out of th dor.  I am a fairly strong man, and I hav th
poeker handy--besieds being invisibl.  Thair's not th slietest
dout that I cuud kil U boeth and get awae qiet eezily if I
wonted to--do U understand?  Verry wel.  If I let U go wil U
promis not to tri eny nonsens and do whut I tel U?"
Th Vicar and th Doctor luukt at wun anuther, and th Doctor puuld
a faes.  "Yes," sed Mr. Bunting, and th Doctor repeeted it.  Then
th presher on th neks relaxt, and th Doctor and th Vicar sat
up, boeth verry red in th faes and wriggling thair heds.
"Pleez keep siting wherr U ar," sed th Invisibl Man.  "Heer's
th poeker, U see.
"When I caem into this room," continued th Invisibl Man, after
prezenting th poeker to th tip of th noez of eech of his vizitors,
"I did not expect to fiend it ocuepied, and I expected to fiend, in
adishun to mi buuks of memoranda, an outfit of cloething.  Wherr is
it?  No,--don't riez.  I can see it's gon.  Now, just at prezent,
tho th daes ar qiet worm enuf for an invisibl man to run
about stark, th eevnings ar chily.  I wont cloething--and uther
acomodaeshun; and I must allso hav thoes three buuks."
			      **********
			      Chapter 12
		  Th Invisibl Man Loozes His Temper
It is unavoidabl that at this point th narrativ shuud braek off
agen, for a serten verry paenful reezon that wil prezently be
aparrent.  Whiel thees things wer going on in th parlour, and whiel
Mr. Huxter was woching Mr. Marvel smoeking his piep agenst th gaet,
not a duzen yards awae wer Mr. Hall and Teddy Henfrey discusing in
a staet of cloudy puzlment th wun Iping topic.
Sudenly thair caem a vieolent thud agenst th dor of th parlour, a
sharp cri, and then--sielens.
"Hul--lo!" sed Teddy Henfrey.
"Hul--lo!" frum th Tap.
Mr. Hall tuuk things in sloely but shurly.  "That ain't riet," he
sed, and caem round frum behiend th bar tords th parlour dor.
He and Teddy aproecht th dor together, with intent faeses.  Thair
ies considerd.  "Summat rong," sed Hall, and Henfrey noded
agreement.  Whiffs of an unplezant kemical odour met them, and
thair was a mufld sound of conversaeshun, verry rapid and subdued.
"U all raight thur?" askt Hall, raping.
Th muterd conversaeshun seest abruptly, for a moement sielens, then
th conversaeshun was rezoomd in hising whispers, then a sharp cri of
"No! no, U don't!"  Thair caem a suden moeshun and th oversetting
of a chair, a breef strugl.  Sielens agen.
"Whut th dooce?" exclaemd Henfrey, sotto voce.
"U--all--raight--thur?" askt Mr. Hall sharply, agen.
Th Vicar's vois anserd with a cuerius jerking intoenaeshun: "Qiet
ri--ight.  Pleez don't--interupt."
"Od!" sed Mr. Henfrey.
"Od!" sed Mr. Hall.
"Ses, 'don't interupt,'" sed Henfrey.
"I heerd'n," sed Hall.
"And a snif," sed Henfrey.
Thae remaend lisening.  Th conversaeshun was rapid and subdued.  "I
can't," sed Mr. Bunting, his vois riezing; "I tel U, ser, I wil
not."
"Whut was that?" askt Henfrey.
"Ses he wi' nart," sed Hall.  "Warn't speakin' to us, wuz he?"
"Disgraesful!" sed Mr. Bunting, within.
"'disgraceful,'" sed Mr. Henfrey.  "I herd it--distinkt.
"Hoo's that speeking now?" askt Henfrey.
"Mr. Cuss, I s'pose," sed Hall.  "Can U heer--enything?"
Sielens.  Th sounds within indistinct and perplexing.
"Sounds liek throeing th taebl-clauth about," sed Hall.
Mrs. Hall apeerd behiend th bar.  Hall maed jeschers of sielens and
invitaeshun.  This rouzd Mrs. Hall's wiefly opozishun.  "Whut yer
listenin' thair for, Hall?" she askt.  "Ain't U nothin' beter to
do--bizy dae liek this?"
Hall tried to convae evrything bi grimaces and dum sho, but Mrs.
Hall was obduraet.  She raezd her vois.  So Hall and Henfrey,
rather crestfallen, tip-toed bak to th bar, jesticuelaeting to
explaen to her.
At ferst she refuezd to see enything in whut thae had herd at all.
Then she insisted on Hall keeping sielens, whiel Henfrey toeld her his
story.  She was incliend to think th hoel biznes nonsens
--perhaps thae wer just mooving th fernicher about.  "I heerd'n sae
'disgraceful'; that I did," sed Hall.
"I heerd that, Mis' Hall," sed Henfrey.
"Liek as not--" began Mrs. Hall.
"Hsh!" sed Mr. Teddy Henfrey.  "Didn't I heer th windo?"
"Whut windo?" askt Mrs. Hall.
"Parlour windo," sed Henfrey.
Evry wun stuud lisening intently.  Mrs. Hall's ies, directed
straet befor her, saw without seeing th brilyant oblong of th
in dor, th roed whiet and vivid, and Huxter's shop-frunt
blistering in th June sun.  Abruptly Huxter's dor oepend and Huxter
apeerd, ies stairing with exsietment, arms jesticuelaeting.  "Yap!"
cried Huxter.  "Stop theef!" and he ran obleekly across th oblong
tords th yard gaets, and vanisht.
Siemultaeniusly caem a toomult frum th parlour, and a sound of windoes
being cloezd.
Hall, Henfrey, and th hueman contents of th Tap rusht out at wuns
pell-mell into th street.  Thae saw sum wun whisk round th corner
tords th doun roed, and Mr. Huxter execueting a complicaeted leep in
th air that ended on his faes and shoelder.  Doun th street peepl
wer standing astonisht or runing tords them.
Mr. Huxter was stund.  Henfrey stopt to discuver this, but Hall
and th too labourers frum th Tap rusht at wuns to th corner,
shouting incoeheerent things, and saw Mr. Marvel vanishing bi th
corner of th cherch wall.  Thae apeer to hav jumpt to th
imposibl concloozhun that this was th Invisibl Man sudenly becum
vizibl, and set off at wuns along th laen in persoot.  But Hall had
hardly run a duzen yards befor he gaev a loud shout of astonishment
and went flieing hedlong siedwaes, cluching wun of th labourers and
bringing him to th ground.  He had bin charjd just as wun charjes
a man at fuutball.  Th second labourer caem round in a sercl,
staird, and conseeving that Hall had tumbld oever of his oen acord,
ternd to rezoom th persoot, oenly to be tript bi th ankl just as
Huxter had bin.  Then, as th ferst labourer strugld to his feet,
he was kikt siedwaes bi a blo that miet hav feld an ox.
As he went doun, th rush frum th direcshun of th vilej green
caem round th corner.  Th ferst to apeer was th proprieetor of th
cocoanut shi, a berly man in a bloo jerzy.  He was astonisht to see
th laen empty saev for three men spralling abserdly on th ground.
And then sumthing hapend to his reer-moest fuut, and he went
hedlong and roeld siedwaes just in tiem to graez th feet of his
bruther and partner, foloeing hedlong.  Th too wer then kikt,
nelt on, fallen oever, and curst bi qiet a number of oever- haesty
peepl.
Now when Hall and Henfrey and th labourers ran out of th hous,
Mrs. Hall, hoo had bin disiplind bi yeers of expeeryens, remaend
in th bar next th til.  And sudenly th parlour dor was oepend,
and Mr. Cuss apeerd, and without glansing at her rusht at wuns
doun th steps tords th corner.  "Hoeld him!" he cried.  "Don't let
him drop that parsel!  U can see him so long as he hoelds th
parsel."  He nue nuthing of th existens of Marvel.  For th
Invisibl Man had handed oever th buuks and bundl in th yard.  Th
faes of Mr. Cuss was anggry and rezoloot, but his costoom was
defectiv, a sort of limp whiet kilt that cuud oenly hav past
muster in Greece.  "Hoeld him!" he balld.  "He's got mi trouzers!
And evry stich of th Vicar's cloeths!
"'tend to him in a minit!" he cried to Henfrey as he past th
prostraet Huxter, and cuming round th corner to join th toomult, was
promptly nokt off his feet into an indecorus sprall.  Sumbody in
fuul fliet trod hevily on his fingger.  He yeld, strugld to
regaen his feet, was nokt agenst and throen on all foers agen,
and becaem awair that he was involvd not in a capcher, but a rout.
Evry wun was runing bak to th vilej.  He roez agen and was hit
seveerly behiend th eer.  He stagerd and set off bak to th Coech
and Horses forthwith, leeping oever th dezerted Huxter, hoo was now
siting up, on his wae.
Behiend him as he was hafwae up th in steps he herd a suden yel
of raej, riezing sharply out of th confuezhun of cries, and a sounding
smak in sum one's faes.  He recogniezd th vois as that of th
Invisibl Man, and th noet was that of a man sudenly infueriaeted bi
a paenful blo.
In anuther moement Mr. Cuss was bak in th parlour.  "He's cuming
bak, Bunting!" he sed, rushing in.  "Saev yurself!  He's gon
mad!"
Mr. Bunting was standing in th windo engaejd in an atempt to
cloeth himself in th harth-rug and a West Surrey Gazet.  "Hoo's
cuming?" he sed, so startld that his costoom narroely escaept
disintegraeshun.
"Invisibl Man," sed Cuss, and rusht to th windo.  "We'd beter
cleer out frum heer!  He's fieting mad!  Mad!"
In anuther moement he was out in th yard.
"Guud hevens!" sed Mr. Bunting, hezitaeting between too horribl
allternativs.  He herd a frietful strugl in th pasej of th
in, and his desizhun was maed.  He clamberd out of th windo,
ajusted his costoom haestily, and fled up th vilej as fast as his
fat litl legs wuud carry him.
Frum th moement when th Invisibl Man screemd with raej and Mr.
Bunting maed his memorabl fliet up th vilej, it becaem
imposibl to giv a consecuetiv acount of afairs in Iping.
Posibly th Invisibl Man's orijinal intenshun was simply to cuver
Marvel's retreet with th cloeths and buuks.  But his temper, at no
tiem verry guud, seems to hav gon compleetly at sum chans blo,
and forthwith he set to smiting and overthrowing, for th meer
satisfacshun of herting.
U must figuer th street fuul of runing figuers, of dors slaming
and fiets for hieding-plaeses.  U must figuer th toomult sudenly
strieking on th unstaebl eeqilibrium of oeld Fletcher's planks and too
chairs,--with cataclysmal rezults.  U must figuer an apalld
cupl caut dizmaly in a swing.  And then th hoel toomulchuos
rush has past and th Iping streets with its gauds and flags is
dezerted saev for th stil raejing Unseen, and literd with
cocoanuts, oeverthroen canvas screens, and th scaterd stok in
traed of a sweetstuff stall.  Evrywhair thair is a sound of cloezing
shuters and shuving boelts, and th oenly vizibl huemanity is an
ocaezhunal fliting ie under a raezd iebrow in th corner of a
windo paen.
Th Invisibl Man amuezd himself for a litl whiel bi braeking all
th windoes in th Coech and Horses, and then he thrust a street lamp
thru th parlour windo of Mrs. Gribble.  He it must hav bin hoo
cut th telegraf wier to Adderdean just beyond Higgins' cotej on
th Adderdean roed.  And after that, as his pecuelyar qolitys
alowd, he past out of hueman persepshuns alltogether, and he was
neether herd, seen, nor felt in Iping eny mor.  He vanisht
absolootly.
But it was th best part of too ours befor eny hueman being vencherd
out agen into th desolaeshun of Iping Street.
			      **********
			      Chapter 13
		 Mr. Marvel Discuses His Rezignaeshun
When th dusk was gathering and Iping was just begining to peep
timorusly forth agen upon th shaterd rekej of its Bank
Holidae, a short, thik-set man in a shaby silk hat was marching
paenfuly thru th twieliet behiend th beechwoods on th roed to
Bramblehurst.  He carryd three buuks bound together bi sum sort of
ornamental elastic ligacher, and a bundl rapt in a bloo
tablecloth.  His rubicund faes exprest consternaeshun and fateeg;
he apeerd to be in a spazmodic sort of hery.  He was acumpanyd
bi a Vois uther than his oen, and ever and agen he winst under th
tuch of unseen hands.
"If U giv me th slip agen," sed th Vois; "if U atempt to
giv me th slip agen--"
"Lord!" sed Mr. Marvel.  "That shoulder's a mas of broozes as it
is."
"--on mi onor," sed th Vois, "I wil kil U."
"I didn't tri to giv U th slip," sed Marvel, in a vois that was
not far remoet frum teers.  "I swair I didn't.  I didn't noe th
blesed terning, that was all!  How th devil was I to noe th
blesed terning?  As it is, I'v bin nokt about--"
"U'l get nokt about a graet deel mor if U don't miend," sed
th Vois, and Mr. Marvel abruptly becaem sielent.  He bloo out his
cheeks, and his ies wer eloqent of despair.
"It's bad enuf to let thees floundering yoekels exploed mi litl
seecret, without yur cuting off with mi buuks.  It's luky for sum
of them thae cut and ran when thae did!  Heer am I--No wun nue I was
invisibl!  And now whut am I to do?"
"Whut am I to do?" askt Marvel, sotto voce.
"It's all about.  It wil be in th paepers!  Evrybody wil be
luuking for me; evrywun on thair gard--" Th Vois broek off into
vivid curses and seest.
Th despair of Mr. Marvel's faes deepend, and his paes slacked.
"Go on!" sed th Vois.
Mr. Marvel's faes asoomd a greyish tint between th ruddier paches.
"Don't drop thoes buuks, stoopid," sed th Vois, sharply--
oevertaeking him.
"Th fact is," sed th Vois, "I shal hav to maek ues of U.
U'r a pur tool, but I must."
"I'm a mizerabl tool," sed Marvel.
"U ar," sed th Vois.
"I'm th werst posibl tool U cuud hav," sed Marvel.
"I'm not strong," he sed after a discurejing sielens.
"I'm not oever strong," he repeeted.
"No?"
"And mi heart's weak.  That litl biznes--I puuld it thru, of
cors--but bles U!  I cuud hav dropt."
"Wel?"
"I havn't th nerv and strength for th sort of thing U wont."
"I'l stimuelaet U."
"I wish U wuudn't.  I wuudn't liek to mes up yur plans, U
noe.  But I miet,--out of sheer funk and mizery."
"U'd beter not," sed th Vois, with qieet emfasis.
"I wish I was ded," sed Marvel.
"It ain't justis," he sed; "U must admit--It seems to me I'v a
perfect riet--"
"Get on!" sed th Vois.
Mr. Marvel mended his paes, and for a tiem thae went in sielens
agen.
"It's devilish hard," sed Mr. Marvel.
This was qiet inefekchual.  He tried anuther tak.
"Whut do I maek bi it?" he began agen in a toen of unendurabl
rong.
"O! shut up!" sed th Vois, with suden amaezing vigour.  "I'l see
to U all riet.  U do whut U'r toeld.  U'l do it all riet.
U'r a fool and all that, but U'l do--"
"I tel U, ser, I'm not th man for it.  Respectfuly--but it is
so--"
"If U don't shut up I shal twist yur rist agen," sed th
Invisibl Man.  "I wont to think."
Prezently too oblongs of yelo liet apeerd thru th trees, and
th sqair tower of a cherch loomd thru th gloeming.  "I shal
keep mi hand on yur shoelder," sed th Vois, "all thru th
vilej.  Go straet thru and tri no foolery.  It wil be th
wers for U if U do."
"I noe that," sied Mr. Marvel, "I noe all that."
Th unhapy-luuking figuer in th obsoleet silk hat past up th
street of th litl vilej with his berdens, and vanisht into th
gathering darknes beyond th liets of th windoes.
			      **********
			      Chapter 14
			    At Port Stowe
Ten o'clok th next morning found Mr. Marvel, unshaeven, derty, and
travel-staend, siting with th buuks besied him and his hands deep
in his pokets, luuking verry weery, nervus, and uncumfortabl, and
inflaeting his cheeks at freeqent intervals, on th bench outsied a
litl in on th outskerts of Port Stowe.  Besied him wer th
buuks, but now thae wer tied with string.  Th bundl had bin
abandond in th pinewoods beyond Bramblehurst, in acordans with a
chaenj in th plans of th Invisibl Man.  Mr. Marvel sat on th
bench, and alltho no wun tuuk th slietest noetis of him, his
ajitaeshun remaend at feever heet.  His hands wuud go ever and agen
to his vairius pokets with a cuerius nervus fumbling.
When he had bin siting for th best part of an our, however, an
elderly marriner, carrying a nuespaeper, caem out of th in and sat
doun besied him.  "Plezant dae," sed th marriner.
Mr. Marvel glanst about him with sumthing verry liek terror.
"Verry," he sed.
"Just seezonabl wether for th tiem of yeer," sed th marriner,
taeking no denieal.
"Qiet," sed Mr. Marvel.
Th marriner produest a toothpik, and (saeving his regard) was
engroest thairbi for sum minits.  His ies meenwhiel wer at
liberty to examin Mr. Marvel's dusty figuer and th buuks besied
him.  As he had aproecht Mr. Marvel he had herd a sound liek th
droping of coins into a poket.  He was struk bi th contrast of
Mr. Marvel's apeerans with this sugjeschun of opuelens.  Thens his
miend waanderd bak agen to a topic that had taeken a cueriusly ferm
hoeld of his imajinaeshun.
"Buuks?" he sed sudenly, noizily finishing with th toothpik.
Mr. Marvel started and luukt at them.  "O, yes," he sed.  "Yes,
thae'r buuks."
"Thair's sum extra-ordinairy things in buuks," sed th marriner.
"I beleev U," sed Mr. Marvel.
"And sum extra-ordinairy things out of 'em," sed th marriner.
"Troo liekwiez," sed Mr. Marvel.  He ied his interlocuetor, and then
glanst about him.
"Thair's sum extra-ordinairy things in nuespaepers, for exampl," sed
th marriner.
"Thair ar."
"In this nuespaeper," sed th marriner.
"Aa!" sed Mr. Marvel.
"Thair's a story," sed th marriner, fixing Mr. Marvel with an ie
that was ferm and deliberet; "thair's a story about an Invisibl
Man, for instans."
Mr. Marvel puuld his mouth askue and scracht his cheek and felt
his eers gloeing.  "Whut wil thae be rieting next?" he askt
faently.  "Ostria, or America?"
"Neether," sed th marriner.  "Heer!"
"Lord!" sed Mr. Marvel, starting.
"When I sae heer," sed th marriner, to Mr. Marvel's intens releef,
"I don't of cors meen heer in this plaes, I meen heerabouts."
"An Invisibl Man!" sed Mr. Marvel.  "And whut's he bin up to?"
"Evrything," sed th marriner, controeling Marvel with his ie, and
then amplifieing: "Evry Blesed Thing."
"I ain't seen a paeper thees foer daes," sed Marvel.
"Iping's th plaes he started at," sed th marriner.
"In-deed!" sed Mr. Marvel.
"He started thair.  And wherr he caem frum, noebody don't seem to
noe.  Heer it is: Pe Culiar Story frum Iping.  And it ses in this
paeper that th evidens is extra-ordinairy strong--extra-ordinairy."
"Lord!" sed Mr. Marvel.
"But then, it's a extra-ordinairy story.  Thair is a clerjyman and a
medical gent witneses,--saw 'im all riet and proper--or leastways,
didn't see 'im.  He was staeing, it ses, at th Coech an' Horses,
and no wun don't seem to hav bin awair of his misforchen, it ses,
awair of his misforchen, until in an Allteraeshun in th in, it ses,
his bandejes on his hed was torn off.  It was then ob-servd that
his hed was invisibl.  Atempts wer At Wuns maed to secuer him,
but casting off his garments, it ses, he sucseeded in escaeping, but
not until after a desperet strugl, In Which he had inflicted
seerius injerys, it ses, on our werthy and aebl constabl, Mr. J.A.
Jaffers.  Prity straet story, eigh?  Naems and evrything."
"Lord!" sed Mr. Marvel, luuking nervusly about him, trieing to count
th muny in his pokets bi his unaeded sens of tuch, and fuul of a
straenj and novel iedeea.  "It sounds moest astonishing."
"Don't it?  Extra-ordinairy, I call it.  Never herd tel of Invisibl
Men befor, I havn't, but now-a-daes wun heers such a lot of
extra-ordinairy things--that--"
"That all he did?" askt Marvel, trieing to seem at his eez.
"It's enuf, ain't it?" sed th marriner.
"Didn't go Bak bi eny chans?" askt Marvel.  "Just escaept and
that's all, eh?"
"All!" sed th marriner.  "Whi!--ain't it enuf?"
"Qiet enuf," sed Marvel.
"I shuud think it was enuf," sed th marriner.  "I shuud think it
was enuf."
"He didn't hav eny pals--it don't sae he had eny pals, duz it?"
askt Mr. Marvel, ankshus.
"Ain't wun of a sort enuf for U?" askt th marriner.  "No, thank
Heven, as wun miet sae, he didn't."
He noded his hed sloely.  "It maeks me reguelar uncumfortabl, th
bair thaut of that chap runing about th cuntry!  He is at
prezent At Larj, and frum serten evidens it is supoezd that he
has--taeken--tuuk, I supoez thae meen--th roed to Port Stowe.  U
see we'r riet in it!  Nun of yur American wunders, this tiem.
And just think of th things he miet do!  Wherr'd U be, if he tuuk
a drop oever and abuv, and had a fansy to go for U?  Supoez he
wonts to rob--hoo can prevent him?  He can trespas, he can burgle,
he cuud wauk thru a cordon of poleesmen as eezy as me or U
cuud giv th slip to a bliend man!  Eezyer!  For thees heer bliend
chaps heer uncomon sharp, I'm toeld.  And wherrever thair was likor
he fansyd--"
"He's got a tremenjous advantej, sertenly," sed Marvel.
"And--wel."
"U'r riet," sed th marriner.  "He has."
All this tiem Mr. Marvel had bin glansing about him intently,
lisening for faent fuutfalls, trieing to detect imperseptibl
moovments.  He seemd on th point of sum graet rezolooshun.  He
cauft behiend his hand.
He luukt about him agen, lisend, bent tords to th marriner, and
loeerd his vois: "Th fact of it is--I hapen--to noe just a thing
or too about this Invisibl Man.  Frum prievet sorses."
"O!" sed th marriner, interested.  "U?"
"Yes," sed Mr. Marvel.  "Me."
"Indeed!" sed th marriner.  "And mae I ask--"
"U'l be astonisht," sed Mr. Marvel behiend his hand.  "It's
tremenjous."
"Indeed!" sed th marriner.
"Th fact is," began Mr. Marvel eegerly in a confidenshal undertoen.
Sudenly his expreshun chaenjd marvellously.  "Ow!" he sed.  He
roez stifly in his seet.  His faes was eloqent of fizical
sufering.  "Wow!" he sed.
"Whut's up?" sed th marriner, consernd.
"Toothaek," sed Mr. Marvel, and puut his hand to his eer.  He caut
hoeld of his buuks.  "I must be geting on, I think," he sed.  He
ejd in a cuerius wae along th seet awae frum his interlocuetor.
"But U was just agoing to tel me about this heer Invisibl Man!"
proetested th marriner.  Mr. Marvel seemd to consult with himself.
"Hoex," sed a vois.  "It's a hoex," sed Mr. Marvel.
"But it's in th paeper," sed th marriner.
"Hoex all th saem," sed Marvel.  "I noe th chap that started th
lie.  Thair ain't no Invisibl Man whut-so-ever--Blimey."
"But how 'bout this paeper?  D'you meen to sae--?"
"Not a werd of it," sed Marvel, stoutly.
Th marriner staird, paeper in hand.  Mr. Marvel jerkily faest about.
"Waet a bit," sed th marriner, riezing and speeking sloely.  "D'you
meen to sae--?"
"I do," sed Mr. Marvel.
"Then whi did U let me go on and tel U all this blarsted stuf,
then?  Whut d'yer meen bi leting a man maek a fool of himself liek
that for?  Eigh?"
Mr. Marvel bloo out his cheeks.  Th marriner was sudenly verry red
indeed; he clencht his hands.  "I bin tauking heer this ten
minits," he sed; "and U, U litl pot-bellied, lethery-faest
sun of an oeld boot, cuudn't hav th elementary maners--"
"Don't U cum bandying werds with me," sed Mr. Marvel.
"Bandying werds!  I'm a joly guud miend--"
"Cum up," sed a vois, and Mr. Marvel was sudenly wherld about
and started marching off in a cuerius spazmodic maner.  "U'd
beter moov on," sed th marriner.  "Hoo's mooving on?" sed Mr.
Marvel.  He was reseeding obleekly with a cuerius herying gaet, with
ocaezhunal vieolent jerks forward.  Sum wae along th roed he began a
muterd monolog, proetests and recriminaeshuns.
"Sily devil!" sed th marriner, legs wied apart, elboes akimbo,
woching th reseeding figuer.  "I'l sho U, U sily
as,--hoaxing me!  It's heer--on th paeper!"
Mr. Marvel retorted incoeheerently and, reseeding, was hiden bi a bend
in th roed, but th marriner stil stuud magnifisent in th midst of
th wae, until th aproech of a butcher's cart dislojd him.  Then
he ternd himself tords Port Stowe.  "Fuul of extra- ordinairy
ases," he sed sofftly to himself.  "Just to taek me doun a bit--that
was his sily gaem--It's on th paeper!"
And thair was anuther extraordinairy thing he was prezently to heer,
that had hapend qiet cloes to him.  And that was a vizhun of a
"fist fuul of muny" (no les) traveling without vizibl aejensy,
along bi th wall at th corner of St. Michael's Laen.  A bruther
marriner had seen this wunderful siet that verry morning.  He had
snacht at th muny forthwith and had bin nokt hedlong, and
when he had got to his feet th buterfli muny had vanisht.  Our
marriner was in th mood to beleev enything, he declaird, but that
was a bit too stif.  Afterwards, however, he began to think things
oever.
Th story of th flieing muny was troo.  And all about that
naeborhuud, eeven frum th august London and Cuntry Banking
Cumpany, frum th tils of shops and ins--dors standing that suny
wether entierly oepen--muny had bin qieetly and dexterously maeking
off that dae in handfuls and rouleaux, floeting qieetly along bi
walls and shaedy plaeses, dojing qikly frum th aproeching ies of
men.  And it had, tho no man had traest it, invairiably ended its
misteerius fliet in th poket of that ajitaeted jentlman in th
obsoleet silk hat, siting outsied th litl in on th outskerts of
Port Stowe.
			      **********
			      Chapter 15
		       Th Man Hoo Was Runing
In th erly eevning tiem Doctor Kemp was siting in his study in th
belvedeer on th hil oeverluuking Berdok.  It was a plezant litl
room, with three windoes, north, west, and south, and buukshelvs
crouded with buuks and sieentific publicaeshuns, and a braud
rieting-taebl, and, under th north windo, a miecroscoep, glas
slips, minit instruments, sum culchers, and scaterd botls of
reaejents.  Doctor Kemp's soelar lamp was lit, allbeeit th skie was stil
briet with th sunset liet, and his bliends wer up becauz thair
was no ofens of peering outsieders to reqier them puuld doun.
Doctor Kemp was a tall and slender yung man, with flaxen hair and a
mustash allmoest whiet, and th werk he was upon wuud ern him, he
hoept, th feloeship of th Roial Sosieety, so hiely did he think of
it.
And his ie prezently waandering frum his werk caut th sunset
blaezing at th bak of th hil that is oever agenst his oen.  For a
minit perhaps he sat, pen in mouth, admiering th rich goelden colour
abuv th crest, and then his atenshun was atracted bi th litl
figuer of a man, inky blak, runing oever th hil-brow tords him.
He was a shortish litl man, and he wor a hi hat, and he was
runing so fast that his legs verrily twinkled.
"Anuther of thoes fools," sed Doctor Kemp.  "Liek that as hoo ran
into me this morning round a corner, with his ''visible Man a-cuming,
ser!'  I can't imajin whut pozeses peepl.  Wun miet think we
wer in th therteenth senchery."
He got up, went to th windo, and staird at th dusky hilsied and
th dark litl figuer tairing doun it.  "He seems in a confounded
hery," sed Doctor Kemp, "but he duzn't seem to be geting on.  If
his pokets wer fuul of leed, he cuudn't run hevyer.
"Sperted, ser," sed Doctor Kemp.
In anuther moement th hieer of th vilas that had clamberd up th
hil frum Berdok had occulted th runing figuer.  He was vizibl
agen for a moement, and agen, and then agen, three tiems between
th three detacht houses that caem next, and then th terres hid
him.
"Ases!" sed Doctor Kemp, swinging round on his heel and wauking
bak to his rieting-taebl.
But thoes hoo saw th fuejitiv neerer, and perseevd th abject
terror on his perspiering faes, being themselvs in th oepen roedwae,
did not shair in th doctor's contempt.  Bi th man pounded, and as
he ran he chinkt liek a wel-fild pers that is tosst to and fro.
He luukt neether to th riet nor th left, but his dielaeted ies
staird straet dounhil to wherr th lamps wer being lit, and th
peepl wer crouded in th street.  And his il-shaept mouth fel
apart, and a glairy foem lae on his lips, and his breth caem hors
and noizy.  All he past stopt and began stairing up th roed and
doun, and interrogating wun anuther with an inkling of discumfort for
th reezon of his haest.
And then prezently, far up th hil, a daug plaeing in th roed yelpt
and ran under a gaet, and as thae stil wunderd sumthing--a wind--a
pad, pad, pad,--a sound liek a panting breething,--rusht bi.
Peepl screemd.  Peepl sprang off th paevment.  It past in
shouts, it past bi instinkt doun th hil.  Thae wer shouting in
th street befor Marvel was hafwae thair.  Thae wer boelting into
houses and slaming th dors behiend them, with th nues.  He herd
it and maed wun last desperet spert.  Feer caem strieding bi, rusht
ahed of him, and in a moement had seezd th toun.
"Th Invisibl Man is cuming!  Th Invisibl Man."
			      **********
			      Chapter 16
		       In th Joly Cricketers
Th Joly Cricketers is just at th botom of th hil, wherr th
tram-liens begin.  Th barman lent his fat red arms on th counter
and taukt of horses with an anaemic cabman, whiel a blak- beerded
man in grae snapt up biskit and cheez, drank Burton, and
conversed in American with a poleesman off duety.
"Whut's th shouting about?" sed th anaemic cabman going off at a
tanjent, trieing to see up th hil oever th derty yelo bliend in th
lo windo of th in.  Sumbody ran bi outsied.  "Fier, perhaps,"
sed th barman.
Fuutsteps aproecht, runing hevily, th dor was puusht oepen
vieolently, and Marvel, weeping and dishevelled, his hat gon, th
nek of his coet torn oepen, rusht in, maed a convulsiv tern, and
atempted to shut th dor.  It was held haf oepen bi a strap.
"Cuming!" he balld, his vois shreeking with terror.  "He's cuming.
Th 'visible Man!  After me!  For Gawd's saek!  Elp!  Elp!  Elp!"
"Shut th dors," sed th poleesman.  "Hoo's cuming?  Whut's th
ro?"  He went to th dor, releest th strap, and it slamd.  Th
American cloezd th uther dor.
"Lemme go insied," sed Marvel, stagering and weeping, but stil
cluching th buuks.  "Lemme go insied.  Lok me in--sumwherr.  I
tel U he's after me.  I giv him th slip.  He sed he'd kil me
and he wil."
"U'r saef," sed th man with th blak beerd.  "Th door's shut.
Whut's it all about?"
"Lemme go insied," sed Marvel, and shreekt aloud as a blo sudenly
maed th fasend dor shiver and was foloed bi a heryd raping
and a shouting outsied.  "Hullo," cried th poleesman, "hoo's thair?"
Mr. Marvel began to maek frantic dievs at panels that luukt liek
dors.  "He'l kil me--he's got a nief or sumthing.  For Gawd's
saek!"
"Heer U ar," sed th barman.  "Cum in heer."  And he held up th
flap of th bar.
Mr. Marvel rusht behiend th bar as th sumons outsied was repeeted.
"Don't oepen th dor," he screemd.  "Pleez don't oepen th dor.
Wherr shal I hied?"
"This, this Invisibl Man, then?" askt th man with th blak beerd,
with wun hand behiend him.  "I ges it's about tiem we saw him."
Th windo of th in was sudenly smasht in, and thair was a
screeming and runing to and fro in th street.  Th poleesman had
bin standing on th settee stairing out, craning to see hoo was at
th dor.  He got doun with raezd iebrows.  "It's that," he sed.
Th barman stuud in frunt of th bar-parlour dor which was now
lokt on Mr. Marvel, staird at th smasht windo and caem round to
th too uther men.
Evrything was sudenly qieet.  "I wish I had mi trunchen," sed th
poleesman, going irresolutely to th dor.  "Wuns we oepen, in he
cums.  Thair's no stoping him."
"Don't U be in too much hery about that dor," sed th anaemic
cabman, ankshusly.
"Draw th boelts," sed th man with th blak beerd, "and if he
cums--" He shoed a revolver in his hand.
"That woen't do," sed th poleesman; "that's merder."
"I noe whut cuntry I'm in," sed th man with th beerd.  "I'm
going to let off at his legs.  Draw th boelts."
"Not with that thing going off behiend me," sed th barman, craning
oever th bliend.
"Verry wel," sed th man with th blak beerd, and stooping doun,
revolver redy, droo them himself.  Barman, cabman, and polees- man
faest about.
"Cum in," sed th beerded man in an undertoen, standing bak and
faesing th unbolted dors with his pistol behiend him.  No wun caem
in, th dor remaend cloezd.  Fiev minits afterwards when a second
cabman puusht his hed in caushusly, thae wer stil waeting, and an
ankshus faes peerd out of th bar-parlour and suplied informaeshun.
"Ar all th dors of th hous shut?" askt Marvel.  "He's going
round--prouling round.  He's as artful as th devil."
"Guud Lord!" sed th berly barman.  "Thair's th bak!  Just woch
them dors!  I sae!--" He luukt about him helplesly.  Th
bar-parlour dor slamd and thae herd th kee tern.  "Thair's th
yard dor and th prievet dor.  Th yard dor--"
He rusht out of th bar.
In a minit he re-apeerd with a carving-nief in his hand.  "Th
yard dor was oepen!" he sed, and his fat underlip dropt.
"He mae be in th hous now!" sed th ferst cabman.
"He's not in th kichen," sed th barman.  "Thair's too wimen
thair, and I'v stabd evry inch of it with this litl beef
slicer.  And thae don't think he's cum in.  Thae havn't noetist--"
"Hav U fasend it?" askt th ferst cabman.
"I'm out of froks," sed th barman.
Th man with th beerd replaest his revolver.  And eeven as he did so
th flap of th bar was shut doun and th boelt clikt, and then with
a tremendus thud th cach of th dor snapt and th bar- parlour
dor berst oepen.  Thae herd Marvel sqeel liek a caut leveret, and
forthwith thae wer clambering oever th bar to his rescue.  Th
beerded man's revolver crakt and th luuking-glas at th bak of
th parlour was stard brietly and caem smashing and tinkling doun.
As th barman enterd th room he saw Marvel, cueriusly crumpld up
and strugling agenst th dor that led to th yard and kichen.
Th dor floo oepen whiel th barman hezitaeted, and Marvel was dragd
into th kichen.  Thair was a screem and a clater of pans.  Marvel,
hed doun, and lugging bak obstinately, was forst to th kichen
dor, and th boelts wer drawn.
Then th poleesman, hoo had bin trieing to pas th barman, rusht
in, foloed bi wun of th cabmen, gript th rist of th invisibl
hand that colard Marvel, was hit in th faes and went reeling bak.
Th dor oepend, and Marvel maed a frantic efort to obtaen a
lojment behiend it.  Then th cabman clucht sumthing.  "I got
him," sed th cabman.  Th barman's red hands caem clawing at th
unseen.  "Heer he is!" sed th barman.
Mr. Marvel, releest, sudenly dropt to th ground and maed an
atempt to crall behiend th legs of th fieting men.  Th strugl
blunderd round th ej of th dor.  Th vois of th Invisibl Man
was herd for th ferst tiem, yeling out sharply, as th poleesman
trod on his fuut.  Then he cried out pashunetly and his fists floo
round liek flails.  Th cabman sudenly whooped and dubld up,
kikt under th dieafram.  Th dor into th bar-parlour frum th
kichen slamd and cuverd Mr. Marvel's retreet.  Th men in th
kichen found themselvs cluching at and strugling with empty air.
"Wherr's he gon?" cried th man with th beerd.  "Out?"
"This wae," sed th poleesman, steping into th yard and stoping.
A pees of tiel whizd bi his hed and smasht amung th crokery on
th kichen taebl.
"I'l sho him," shouted th man with th blak beerd, and sudenly a
steel barrel shoen oever th policeman's shoelder, and fiev buulets
had foloed wun anuther into th twieliet whens th missle had
cum.  As he fierd, th man with th beerd moovd his hand in a
horizontal curv, so that his shots raediaeted out into th narro yard
liek spoeks frum a wheel.
A sielens foloed.  "Fiev cartrijes," sed th man with th blak
beerd.  "That's th best of all.  Foer aeses and th joeker.  Get a
lantern, sum wun, and cum and feel about for his body."
			      **********
			      Chapter 17
			Doctor Kemp's Vizitor
Doctor Kemp had continued rieting in his study until th shots
arouzd him.  Crak, crak, crak, thae caem wun after th uther.
"Helo!" sed Doctor Kemp, puuting his pen into his mouth agen and
lisening.  "Hoo's leting off revolvers in Berdok?  Whut ar th
ases at now?"
He went to th south windo, throo it up, and leening out staird doun
on th netwerk of windoes, beeded gas-lamps and shops with blak
interstisys of roof and yard that maed up th toun at niet.  "Luuks
liek a croud doun th hil," he sed, "bi th Cricketers," and
remaend woching.  Thens his ies waanderd oever th toun to far
awae wherr th ships' liets shoen, and th peer gloed, a litl
iloominaeted pavilyon liek a jem of yelo liet.  Th moon in its
ferst qorter hung oever th western hil, and th stars wer cleer
and allmoest tropically briet.
After fiev minits, during which his miend had traveld into a remoet
specuelaeshun of soeshal condishuns of th fuecher, and lost itself at
last oever th tiem dimenshun, Doctor Kemp rouzd himself with a si,
puuld doun th windo agen, and reternd to his rieting-desk.
It must hav bin about an our after this that th frunt-dor bel
rang.  He had bin rieting slackly and with intervals of abstracshun,
sinss th shots.  He sat lisening.  He herd th servant anser th
dor, and waeted for her feet on th staircaes, but she did not cum.
"Wunder whut that was," sed Doctor Kemp.
He tried to rezoom his werk, faeld, got up, went dounstairs frum his
study to th landing, rang, and calld oever th balustraed to th
housmaed as she apeerd in th hall belo.  "Was that a leter?"
he askt.
"Oenly a run-awae ring, ser," she anserd.
"I'm restles to-niet," he sed to himself.  He went bak to his
study, and this tiem atakt his werk rezolootly.  In a litl whiel
he was hard at werk agen, and th oenly sounds in th room wer th
tiking of th clok and th subdued shrilnes of his qil,
herying in th verry senter of th sercl of liet his lamp-shaed
throo on his taebl.
It was too o'clok befor Doctor Kemp had finisht his werk for th
niet.  He roez, yawned, and went dounstairs to bed.  He had allredy
remoovd his coet and vest, when he noetist that he was thersty.  He
tuuk a candl and went doun to th diening-room in serch of a siefon
and whisky.
Doctor Kemp's sieentific persoots had maed him a verry obzervant man,
and as he recrossed th hall, he noetist a dark spot on th linoelium
neer th mat at th fuut of th stairs.  He went on upstairs, and
then it sudenly ocurd to him to ask himself whut th spot on th
linoelium miet be.  Aparrently sum subconshus element was at werk.
At eny raet, he ternd with his berden, went bak to th hall, puut
doun th siefon and whisky, and bending doun, tucht th spot.
Without eny graet serpriez he found it had th stikynes and colour
of drieing blud.
He tuuk up his berden agen, and reternd upstairs, luuking about him
and trieing to acount for th blud-spot.  On th landing he saw
sumthing and stopt astonisht.  Th dor-handl of his oen room
was blud-staend.
He luukt at his oen hand.  It was qiet cleen, and then he
rememberd that th dor of his room had bin oepen when he caem doun
frum his study, and that conseqently he had not tucht th handl
at all.  He went straet into his room, his faes qiet caam--perhaps
a triefl mor rezoloot that uezhual.  His glans, waandering
inquisitively, fel on th bed.  On th counterpaen was a mes of
blud, and th sheet had bin torn.  He had not noetist this befor
becauz he had waukt straet to th dresing-taebl.  On th ferther
sied th bed- cloeths wer deprest as if sum wun had bin reesently
siting thair.
Then he had an od impreshun that he had herd a loud vois sae,
"Guud Hevens!--Kemp!"  But Doctor Kemp was no beleever in Voises.
He stuud stairing at th tumbld sheets.  Was that reealy a vois?  He
luukt about agen, but noetist nuthing ferther than th disorderd
and blud-staend bed.  Then he distinktly herd a moovment across
th room, neer th wosh-hand stand.  All men, however hiely
ejucaeted, retaen sum sooperstishus inklings.  Th feeling that is
calld "eery" caem upon him.  He cloezd th dor of th room, caem
forward to th dresing-taebl, and puut doun his berdens.  Sudenly,
with a start, he perseevd a coild and blud-staend bandej of
linen rag hanging in mid-air, between him and th wosh-hand stand.
He staird at this in amaezment.  It was an empty bandej, a bandej
properly tied but qiet empty.  He wuud hav advanst to grasp it,
but a tuch arested him, and a vois speeking qiet cloes to him.
"Kemp!" sed th Vois.
"Eigh?" sed Kemp, with his mouth oepen.
"Keep yur nerv," sed th Vois.  "I'm an Invisibl Man."
Kemp maed no anser for a spaes, simply staird at th bandej.
"Invisibl Man," he sed.
"I'm an Invisibl Man," repeeted th Vois.
Th story he had bin activ to ridicuel oenly that morning rusht
thru Kemp's braen.  He duz not apeer to hav bin eether verry
much frietend or verry graetly serpriezd at th moement.  Realisation
caem laeter.
"I thaut it was all a lie," he sed.  Th thaut upermost in his
miend was th reeiteraeted arguements of th morning.  "Hav U a
bandej on?" he askt.
"Yes," sed th Invisibl Man.
"O!" sed Kemp, and then rouzd himself.  "I sae!" he sed.  "But
this is nonsens.  It's sum trik."  He stept forward sudenly,
and his hand, extended tords th bandej, met invisibl finggers.
He recoild at th tuch and his colour chaenjd.
"Keep stedy, Kemp, for God's saek!  I wont help badly.  Stop!"
Th hand gript his arm.  He struk at it.
"Kemp!" cried th Vois.  "Kemp!  Keep stedy!" and th grip
tietend.
A frantic dezier to free himself tuuk pozeshun of Kemp.  Th hand
of th bandejd arm gript his shoelder, and he was sudenly tript
and flung bakwards upon th bed.  He oepend his mouth to shout, and
th corner of th sheet was thrust between his teeth.  Th Invisibl
Man had him doun grimly, but his arms wer free and he struk and
tried to kik savejly.
"Lisen to reezon, wil U?" sed th Invisibl Man, stiking to him
in spiet of a pounding in th ribs.  "Bi Heven! U'l maden me in
a minit!
"Lie stil, U fool!" balld th Invisibl Man in Kemp's eer.
Kemp strugld for anuther moement and then lae stil.
"If U shout I'l smash yur faes," sed th Invisibl Man,
releeving his mouth.
"I'm an Invisibl Man.  It's no foolishnes, and no majic.  I reealy
am an Invisibl Man.  And I wont yur help.  I don't wont to hert
U, but if U behaev liek a frantic rustic, I must.  Don't U
remember me, Kemp?--Griffin, of Ueniversity Colej?"
"Let me get up," sed Kemp.  "I'l stop wherr I am.  And let me sit
qieet for a minit."
He sat up and felt his nek.
"I am Griffin, of Ueniversity Colej, and I hav maed mieself
invisibl.  I am just an ordinairy man--a man U hav noen--maed
invisibl."
"Griffin?" sed Kemp.
"Griffin," anserd th Vois--"a yungger stoodent, allmoest an albieno,
six feet hi, and braud, with a pink and whiet faes and red
ies--hoo wun th medal for kemistry."
"I am confuezd," sed Kemp.  "Mi braen is rieoting.  Whut has this to
do with Griffin?"
"I am Griffin."
Kempt thaut.  "It's horribl," he sed.  "But whut devilry must
hapen to maek a man invisibl?"
"It's no devilry.  It's a proses, saen and intelijibl enuf--"
"It's horribl!" sed Kemp.  "How on erth--?"
"It's horribl enuf.  But I'm woonded an in paen, and tierd --Graet
God!  Kemp, U ar a man.  Taek it stedy.  Giv me sum food and
drink, and let me sit doun heer."
Kemp staird at th bandej as it moovd across th room, then saw a
basket chair dragd across th flor and cum to rest neer th bed.
It creekt, and th seet was deprest th qorter of an inch or so.
He rubd his ies and felt his nek agen.  "This beets goests," he
sed, and laft stoopidly.
"That's beter.  Thank Heven, U'r geting sensibl!"
"Or sily," sed Kemp, and nukld his ies.
"Giv me sum whisky.  I'm neer ded."
"It didn't feel so.  Wherr ar U?  If I get up shal I run into
U?  Thair! all riet.  Whisky?  Heer.  Wherr shal I giv it U?"
Th chair creekt and Kemp felt th glas drawn awae frum him.  He
let go bi an efort; his instinkt was all agenst it.  It caem to
rest poizd twenty inches abuv th frunt ej of th seet of th
chair.  He staird at it in infinit perplexity.  "This is--this must
be--hipnotizm.  U must hav sugjested U ar invisibl."
"Nonsens," sed th Vois.
"It's frantic."
"Lisen to me."
"I demonstraeted concloosivly this morning," began Kemp, "that
invizibility--"
"Never miend whut U'v demonstraeted!--I'm starving," sed th Vois,
"and th niet is--chily to a man without cloeths."
"Food!" sed Kemp.
Th tumbler of whisky tilted itself.  "Yes," sed th Invisibl Man,
raping it doun.  "Hav U got a dresing goun?"
Kemp maed sum exclamaeshun in an undertoen.  He waukt to a wordroeb
and produest a roeb of dinjy scarlet.  "This do?" he askt.  It was
taeken frum him.  It hung limp for a moement in mid-air, fluterd
weerdly, stuud fuul and decorus butoning itself, and sat doun in
his chair.  "Drors, soks, slipers wuud be a cumfort," sed th
Unseen, curtly.  "And food."
"Enything.  But this is th insanest thing I ever was in, in mi
lief!"
He ternd out his drors for th articls, and then went dounstairs
to ransak his larder.  He caem bak with sum coeld cutlets and
bred, puuld up a liet taebl, and plaest them befor his gest.
"Never miend nievs," sed his vizitor, and a cutlet hung in mid-air,
with a sound of nawing.
"Invisibl!" sed Kemp, and sat doun on a bedroom chair.
"I allwaes liek to get sumthing about me befor I eet," sed th
Invisibl Man, with a fuul mouth, eeting greedily.  "Qeer fansy!"
"I supoez that rist is all riet," sed Kemp.
"Trust me," sed th Invisibl Man.
"Of all th straenj and wunderful--"
"Exactly.  But it's od I shuud blunder into yur hous to get mi
bandejing.  Mi ferst stroek of luk.  Enyhow I ment to sleep in this
hous to-niet.  U must stand that!  It's a filthy nuesans, mi
blud shoeing, isn't it?  Qiet a clot oever thair.  Gets vizibl as
it coagulates, I see.  I'v bin in th hous three ours."
"But how's it dun?" began Kemp, in a toen of exasperaeshun.
"Confound it!  Th hoel biznes--it's unreezonabl frum begining
to end."
"Qiet reezonabl," sed th Invisibl Man.  "Perfectly reezonabl."
He reecht oever and secuerd th whisky botl.  Kemp staird at th
devouring dresing-goun.  A rae of candl-liet penetraeting a torn
pach in th riet shoelder, maed a tri-angl of liet under th left
ribs.  "Whut wer th shots?" he askt.  "How did th shooting
begin?"
"Thair was a fool of a man--a sort of confederet of mien-- curs
him!--hoo tried to steel mi muny.  Has dun so."
"Is he invisibl too?"
"No."
"Wel?"
"Can't I hav sum mor to eet befor I tel U all that?  I'm
hunggry--in paen.  And U wont me to tel storys!"
Kemp got up.  "U didn't do eny shooting?" he askt.
"Not me," sed his vizitor.  "Sum fool I'd never seen fierd at
random.  A lot of them got scaird.  Thae all got scaird at me.  Curs
them!--I sae--I wont mor to eet than this, Kemp."
"I'l see whut thair is mor to eet dounstairs," sed Kemp.  "Not
much, I'm afraed."
After he had dun eeting, and he maed a hevy meel, th Invisibl Man
demanded a sigar.  He bit th end savejly befor Kemp cuud fiend a
nief, and curst when th outer leef loosend.  It was straenj to
see him smoeking; his mouth and throet, pharynx and nares, becaem
vizibl as a sort of wherling smoek cast.
"This blesed gift of smoeking!" he sed, and puft vigorusly.  "I'm
luky to hav fallen upon U, Kemp.  U must help me.  Fansy
tumbling on U just now!  I'm in a devilish scraep.  I'v bin mad,
I think.  Th things I hav bin thru!  But we wil do things yet.
Let me tel U--"
He helpt himself to mor whisky and soeda.  Kemp got up, luukt about
him, and fetched himself a glas frum his spair room.  "It's
wield--but I supoez I mae drink."
"U havn't chaenjd much, Kemp, thees duzen yeers.  U fair men
don't.  Cool and methodical--after th ferst colaps.  I must tel
U.  We wil werk together!"
"But how was it all dun?" sed Kemp, "and how did U get liek
this?"
"For God's saek, let me smoek in pees for a litl whiel!  And then
I wil begin to tel U."
But th story was not toeld that niet.  Th Invisibl Man's rist was
groeing paenful, he was feeverish, exausted, and his miend caem round
to brood upon his chaes doun th hil and th strugl about th in.
He spoek in fragments of Marvel, he smoekt faster, his vois groo
anggry.  Kemp tried to gather whut he cuud.
"He was afraed of me, I cuud see he was afraed of me," sed th
Invisibl Man meny tiems oever.  "He ment to giv me th slip--he was
allwaes casting about!  Whut a fool I was!
"Th cur!
"I shuud hav kild him--"
"Wherr did U get th muny?" askt Kemp, abruptly.
Th Invisibl Man was sielent for a spaes.  "I can't tel U
to-niet," he sed.
He groend sudenly and lent forward, suporting his invisibl hed
on invisibl hands.  "Kemp," he sed, "I'v had no sleep for neer
three daes--exsept a cupl of dozes of an our or so.  I must sleep
soon."
"Wel, hav mi room--hav this room."
"But how can I sleep?  If I sleep--he wil get awae.  Ugh!  Whut duz
it mater?"
"Whut's th shot-woond?" askt Kemp, abruptly.
"Nuthing--scrach and blud.  O, God!  How I wont sleep!"
"Whi not?"
Th Invisibl Man apeerd to be regarding Kemp.  "Becauz I'v a
particuelar objecshun to being caut bi mi felo-men," he sed
sloely.
Kemp started.
"Fool that I am!" sed th Invisibl Man, strieking th taebl smartly.
"I'v puut th iedeea into yur hed."
			      **********
			      Chapter 18
		       Th Invisibl Man Sleeps
Exausted and woonded as th Invisibl Man was, he refuezd to acsept
Kemp's werd that his freedom shuud be respected.  He examind th
too windoes of th bedroom, droo up th bliends, and oepend th sashes
to conferm Kemp's staetment that a retreet bi them wuud be posibl.
Outsied th niet was verry qieet and stil, and th nue moon was
seting oever th doun.  Then he examind th kees of th bedroom and
th too dresing-room dors, to satisfi himself that thees allso cuud
be maed an ashurans of freedom.  Fienaly he exprest himself
satisfied.  He stuud on th harth-rug and Kemp herd th sound of a
yaun.
"I'm sorry," sed th Invisibl Man, "if I cannot tel U all that I
hav dun to-niet.  But I am worn out.  It's groetesk, no dout.
It's horribl!  But beleev me, Kemp, it is qiet a posibl thing.
I hav maed a discuvery.  I ment to keep it to mieself.  I can't.  I
must hav a partner.  And U--We can do such things--But to-morro.
Now, Kemp, I feel as tho I must sleep or perrish."
Kemp stuud in th midl of th room stairing at th hedles garment.
"I supoez I must leev U," he sed.  "It's--incredibl.  Three
things hapening liek this, oeverterning all mi preeconsepshuns, wuud
maek me insaen.  But it's reeal!  Is thair enything mor that I can
get U?"
"Oenly bid me guud-niet," sed Griffin.
"Guud-niet," sed Kemp, and shuuk an invisibl hand.  He waukt
siedwaes to th dor.  Sudenly th dresing-goun waukt qikly
tords him.  "Understand me!" sed th dresing-goun.  "No atempts
to hamper me, or capcher me!  Or--"
Kemp's faes chaenjd a litl.  "I thaut I gaev U mi werd," he
sed.
Kemp cloezd th dor sofftly behiend him, and th kee was ternd upon
him forthwith.  Then, as he stuud with an expreshun of pasiv
amaezment on his faes, th rapid feet caem to th dor of th
dresing-room and that too was lokt.  Kemp slapt his brow with
his hand.  "Am I dreeming?  Has th werld gon mad--or hav I?"
He laft, and puut his hand to th lokt dor.  "Bard out of mi
oen bedroom, bi a flaegrant abserdity!" he sed.
He waukt to th hed of th staircaes, ternd, and staird at th
lokt dors.  "It's fact," he sed.  He puut his finggers to his
slietly broozd nek.  "Undenieabl fact!
"But--"
He shuuk his hed hoeplesly, ternd, and went dounstairs.
He lit th diening-room lamp, got out a sigar, and began paesing th
room, ejaculating.  Now and then he wuud argue with himself.
"Invisibl!" he sed.
"Is thair such a thing as an invisibl animal?  In th see, yes.
Thouzands!  milyons!  All th larvee, all th litl nauplii and
tornarias, all th miecroscopic things, th jely-fish.  In th see
thair ar mor things invisibl than vizibl!  I never thaut of
that befor.  And in th ponds too!  All thoes litl pond-lief
things-- speks of colourless transloosent jely!  But in air?  No!
"It can't be.
"But after all--whi not?
"If a man was maed of glas he wuud stil be vizibl."
His meditaeshun becaem profound.  Th bulk of three sigars had past
into th invisibl or difuezd as a whiet ash oever th carpet befor
he spoek agen.  Then it was meerly an exclamaeshun.  He ternd asied,
waukt out of th room, and went into his litl consulting- room and
lit th gas thair.  It was a litl room, becauz Dr. Kemp did not
liv bi practis, and in it wer th day's nuespaepers.  Th morning's
paeper lae cairlesly oepend and throen asied.  He caut it up,
ternd it oever, and reed th acount of a "Straenj Story frum Iping"
that th Marriner at Port Stowe had spelt oever so paenfuly to Mr.
Marvel.  Kemp reed it swiftly.
"Rapt up!" sed Kemp.  "Disgiezd!  Hieding it!  'no wun seems to
hav bin awair of his misforchen.'  Whut th devil is his gaem?"
He dropt th paeper, and his ie went seeking.  "Aa!" he sed, and
caut up th St. James' Gazet, lieing foelded up as it arievd.
"Now we shal get at th trooth," sed Dr. Kemp.  He rent th paeper
oepen; a cupl of colums confrunted him.  "An Entier Vilej in
Sussex goes Mad" was th heding.
"Guud Hevens!" sed Kemp, reeding eegerly an increjulus acount of
th events in Iping th preevius afternoon, that hav allredy bin
descriebd.  Oever th leef th report in th morning paeper had bin
re-printed.
He re-reed it.  "Ran thru th streets strieking riet and left.
Jaffers insensible.  Mr. Huxter in graet paen--stil unaebl to
descrieb whut he saw.  Paenful huemiliaeshun--vicar.  Wimen il with
terror!  Windoes smasht.  This extraordinairy story probably a
fabricaeshun.  Too guud not to print--cum grano!"
He dropt th paeper and staird blankly in frunt of him.  "Probably a
fabricaeshun!"
He caut up th paeper agen, and re-reed th hoel biznes.  "But
wherr duz th Tramp cum in?  Whi th deuce was he chaesing a Tramp?"
He sat doun abruptly on th serjical couch.  "He's not oenly
invisibl," he sed, "but he's mad!  Homisiedal!"
When daun caem to minggl its palor with th lamp-liet and sigar
smoek of th diening-room, Kemp was stil paesing up and doun, trieing
to grasp th incredibl.
He was alltogether too exsieted to sleep.  His servants, desending
sleepily, discuverd him, and wer incliend to think that overstudy
had werkt this il on him.  He gaev them extraordinairy but qiet
explisit instrucshuns to lae brekfast for too in th belvedeer
study--and then to confien themselvs to th baesment and ground-
flor.  Then he continued to paes th diening-room until th morning's
paeper caem.  That had much to sae and litl to tel, beyond th
confermaeshun of th eevning befor and a verry baldly riten acount
of anuther remarkabl tael frum Port Berdok.  This gaev Kemp th
esens of th hapenings at th Joly Cricketers, and th naem of
Marvel.  "He has maed me keep with him twenty-foer ours," Marvel
testified.  Serten mienor facts wer aded to th Iping story,
noetably th cuting of th vilej telegraf-wier.  But thair was
nuthing to thro liet on th conecshun between th Invisibl Man
and th Tramp; for Mr. Marvel had suplied no informaeshun about th
three buuks, or th muny with which he was liend.  Th increjulus
toen had vanisht and a shoel of reporters and inquirers wer allredy
at werk elaborating th mater.
Kemp reed evry scrap of th report and sent his housmaed out to get
evry wun of th morning paepers she cuud.  Thees allso he devourd.
"He is invisibl!" he sed.  "And it reeds liek raej groeing to
maenia!  Th things he mae do!  Th things he mae do!  And he's
upstairs free as th air.  Whut on erth aut I to do?
"For instans, wuud it be a breech of faeth if--?  No."
He went to a litl untiedy desk in th corner, and began a noet.  He
tore this up haf riten, and roet anuther.  He reed it oever and
considerd it.  Then he tuuk an enveloep and adrest it to "Curnel
Adye, Port Berdok."
Th Invisibl Man awoek eeven as Kemp was doing this.  He awoek in an
eevil temper, and Kemp, alert for evry sound, herd his pattering
feet rush sudenly across th bedroom oeverhed.  Then a chair was
flung oever and th wosh-hand stand tumbler smasht.  Kemp heryd
upstairs and rapt eegerly.
			      **********
			      Chapter 19
		       Serten Ferst Prinsipls
"Whut's th mater?" askt Kemp, when th Invisibl Man admited him.
"Nuthing," was th anser.
"But, confound it!  Th smash?"
"Fit of temper," sed th Invisibl Man.  "Forgot this arm; and it's
sor."
"U'r rather lieabl to that sort of thing."
"I am."
Kemp waukt across th room and pikt up th fragments of broeken
glas.  "All th facts ar out about U," sed Kemp, standing up
with th glas in his hand; "all that hapend in Iping, and doun th
hil.  Th werld has becum awair of its invisibl sitizen.  But no
wun noes U ar heer."
Th Invisibl Man swor.
"Th secret's out.  I gather it was a seecret.  I don't noe whut yur
plans ar, but of cors I'm ankshus to help U."
Th Invisibl Man sat doun on th bed.
"Thair's brekfast upstairs," sed Kemp, speeking as eezily as
posibl, and he was delieted to fiend his straenj gest roez
wilingly.  Kemp led th wae up th narro staircaes to th
belvedeer.
"Befor we can do enything els," sed Kemp, "I must understand a
litl mor about this invizibility of yurs."  He had sat doun,
after wun nervus glans out of th windo, with th air of a man hoo
has tauking to do.  His douts of th sanity of th entier biznes
flasht and vanisht agen as he luukt across to wherr Griffin sat
at th brekfast-taebl,--a hedles, handles dresing- goun, wieping
unseen lips on a miracuelusly held serviette.
"It's simpl enuf--and credibl enuf," sed Griffin, puuting th
serviette asied and leening th invisibl hed on an invisibl hand.
"No dout, to U, but--" Kemp laft.
"Wel, yes; to me it seemd wunderful at ferst, no dout.  But now,
graet God!--But we wil do graet things yet!  I caem on th stuf
ferst at Chesilstowe."
"Chesilstowe?"
"I went thair after I left London.  U noe I dropt medisin and
tuuk up fizics?  No?--wel, I did.  Liet--fasinaeted me."
"Aa!"
"Optical density!  Th hoel subject is a netwerk of ridls --a
netwerk with solooshuns glimering eloosivly thru.  And being but
too-and-twenty and fuul of enthooziazm, I sed, 'I wil devoet mi lief
to this.  This is werth whiel.'  U noe whut fools we ar at
too-and-twenty?"
"Fools then or fools now," sed Kemp.
"As tho Noeing cuud be eny satisfacshun to a man!
"But I went to werk--liek a nigger.  And I had hardly werkt and
thaut about th mater six munths befor liet caem thru wun of
th meshes sudenly--blindingly!  I found a jeneral prinsipl of
pigments and refracshun,--a formuela, a jeo-metrical expreshun
involving foer dimenshuns.  Fools, comon men, eeven comon
mathematicians, do not noe enything of whut sum jeneral expreshun
mae meen to th stoodent of molecuelar fizics.  In th buuks--th
buuks that Tramp has hiden--thair ar marvels, miracls!  But this
was not a method, it was an iedeea that miet leed to a method bi which
it wuud be posibl, without chaenjing eny uther property of
mater,--exsept, in sum instanses, colours,--to loeer th refractiv
index of a substans, solid or liqid, to that of air--so far as all
practical perposes ar consernd."
"Phew!" sed Kemp.  "That's od!  But stil I don't see qiet --I can
understand that thairbi U cuud spoil a valueabl stoen, but
personal invizibility is a far cri."
"Presiesly," sed Griffin.  "But consider: Vizibility depends on th
acshun of th vizibl bodys on liet.  Eether a body absorbs liet,
or it reflects or refracts it, or duz all thees things.  If it
neether reflects nor refracts nor absorbs liet, it cannot of itself
be vizibl.  U see an oepaek red box, for instans, becauz th
colour absorbs sum of th liet and reflects th rest, all th red
part of th liet, to U.  If it did not absorb eny particuelar part
of th liet, but reflected it all, then it wuud be a shiening whiet
box.  Silver!  A diemond box wuud neether absorb much of th liet
nor reflect much frum th jeneral serfis, but just heer and thair
wherr th serfises wer favourable th liet wuud be reflected and
refracted, so that U wuud get a brilyant apeerans of flashing
reflecshuns and translucencies,--a sort of skeleton of liet.  A
glas box wuud not be so brilyant, not so cleerly vizibl, as a
diemond box, becauz thair wuud be les refracshun and reflecshun.
See that?  Frum serten points of vue U wuud see qiet cleerly
thru it.  Sum kiends of glas wuud be mor vizibl than uthers, a
box of flint glas wuud be brieter than a box of ordinairy windo
glas.  A box of verry thin comon glas wuud be hard to see in a bad
liet, becauz it wuud absorb hardly eny liet and refract and
reflect verry litl.  And if U puut a sheet of comon whiet glas in
wauter, stil mor if U puut it in sum denser liqid than wauter, it
wuud vanish allmoest alltogether, becauz liet pasing frum wauter to
glas is oenly slietly refracted or reflected or indeed afected in
eny wae.  It is allmoest as invisibl as a jet of coel gas or hiedrojen
is in air.  And for presiesly th saem reezon!"
"Yes," sed Kemp, "that is prity plaen saeling."
"And heer is anuther fact U wil noe to be troo.  If a sheet of
glas is smasht, Kemp, and beeten into a pouder, it becums much
mor vizibl whiel it is in th air; it becums at last an oepaek
whiet pouder.  This is becauz th poudering multiplies th serfises
of th glas at which refracshun and reflecshun ocur.  In th sheet
of glas thair ar oenly too serfises; in th pouder th liet is
reflected or refracted bi eech graen it pases thru, and verry
litl gets riet thru th pouder.  But if th whiet pouderd
glas is puut into wauter, it forthwith vanishes.  Th pouderd glas
and wauter hav much th saem refractiv index; that is, th liet
undergoes verry litl refracshun or reflecshun in pasing frum wun to
th uther.
"U maek th glas invisibl bi puuting it into a liqid of neerly
th saem refractiv index; a transpairent thing becums invisibl if
it is puut in eny meedium of allmoest th saem refractiv index.  And if
U wil consider oenly a second, U wil see allso that th pouder of
glas miet be maed to vanish in air, if its refractiv index cuud
be maed th saem as that of air; for then thair wuud be no
refracshun or reflecshun as th liet past frum glas to air."
"Yes, yes," sed Kemp.  "But a man's not pouderd glas!"
"No," sed Griffin.  "He's mor transpairent!"
"Nonsens!"
"That frum a doctor!  How wun forgets!  Hav U allredy forgoten
yur fizics, in ten yeers?  Just think of all th things that ar
transpairent and seem not to be so.  Paeper, for instans, is maed up
of transpairent fibres, and it is whiet and oepaek oenly for th saem
reezon that a pouder of glas is whiet and oepaek.  Oil whiet paeper,
fil up th interstisys between th particls with oil so that thair
is no longger refracshun or reflecshun exsept at th serfises, and it
becums as transpairent as glas.  And not oenly paeper, but coton
fieber, linen fieber, wuul fieber, woody fieber, and boen, Kemp, flesh,
hair, naels and nervs, Kemp, in fact th hoel fabric of a man
exsept th red of his blud and th blak pigment of hair, ar all
maed up of transpairent, colourless tishoo.  So litl sufieses to
maek us vizibl wun to th uther.  For th moest part th fibres of a
living creecher ar no mor oepaek than wauter."
"Graet Hevens!" cried Kemp.  "Of cors, of cors!  I was thinking
oenly last niet of th see larvee and all jely-fish!"
"Now U hav me!  And all that I nue and had in miend a yeer after I
left London--six yeers ago.  But I kept it to mieself.  I had to do mi
werk under frietful disadvantejes.  Oliver, mi profesor, was a
sieentific bounder, a jernalist bi instinkt, a theef of iedeeas,--he
was allwaes prieing!  And U noe th naevish sistem of th sieentific
werld.  I simply wuud not publish, and let him shair mi credit.  I
went on werking.  I got neerer and neerer maeking mi formuela into an
experriment, a reality.  I toeld no living soel, becauz I ment to
flash mi werk upon th werld with crushing efect,--to becum faemus
at a blo.  I tuuk up th qeschun of pigments to fil up serten
gaps.  And sudenly, not bi dezien but bi acsident, I maed a
discuvery in fiziolojy."
"Yes?"
"U noe th red colouring mater of blud; it can be maed
whiet--colourless--and remaen with all th funkshuns it has now!"
Kemp gaev a cri of increjulus amaezment.
Th Invisibl Man roez and began paesing th litl study.  "U mae
wel exclaem.  I remember that niet.  It was laet at niet, --in th
daetiem wun was botherd with th gaeping, sily stoodents,-- and I
werkt then sumtiems til daun.  It caem sudenly, splendid and
compleet into mi miend.  I was aloen; th labratory was stil, with
th tall liets berning brietly and sielently.  In all mi graet
moements I hav bin aloen.  'one cuud maek an animal--a tishoo--
transpairent!  Wun cuud maek it invisibl!  All exsept th pigments.
I cuud be invisibl!'  I sed, sudenly realising whut it ment to
be an albieno with such nolej.  It was oeverwhelming.  I left th
filtering I was doing, and went and staird out of th graet windo at
th stars.  'I cuud be invisibl!' I repeeted.
"To do such a thing wuud be to transend majic.  And I beheld,
unclouded bi dout, a magnifisent vizhun of all that invizibility
miet meen to a man,--th mistery, th power, th freedom.  Drawbacks
I saw nun.  U hav oenly to think!  And I, a shaby,
poverty-struk, hemd-in demonstraetor, teeching fools in a
provinshal colej, miet sudenly becum--this.  I ask U, Kemp, if
U--Eny wun, I tel U, wuud hav flung himself upon that
reserch.  And I werkt three yeers, and evry mounten of dificulty
I toild oever shoed anuther frum its sumit.  Th infinit deetaels!
And th exasperaeshun,--a profesor, a provinshal profesor, allwaes
prieing.  'when ar U going to publish this werk of yurs?' was his
everlasting qeschun.  And th stoodents, th cramped meens!  Three
yeers I had of it--
"And after three yeers of seecresy and exasperaeshun, I found that to
compleet it was imposibl,--imposibl."
"How?" askt Kemp.
"Muny," sed th Invisibl Man, and went agen to stair out of th
windo.
He ternd round abruptly.  "I robd th oeld man--robd mi faather.
"Th muny was not his, and he shot himself."
			      **********
			      Chapter 20
		At th Hous in Graet Portland Street
For a moement Kemp sat in sielens, stairing at th bak of th hedles
figuer at th windo.  Then he started, struk bi a thaut, roez,
tuuk th Invisibl Man's arm, and ternd him awae frum th outluuk.
"U ar tierd," he sed, "and whiel I sit, U wauk about.  Hav mi
chair."
He plaest himself between Griffin and th neerest windo.
For a spaes Griffin sat sielent, and then he rezoomd abruptly:
"I had left th Chesilstowe cotej allredy," he sed, "when that
hapend.  It was last December.  I had taeken a room in London, a
larj unfurnished room in a big il-manejd lojing-hous in a slum
neer Graet Portland Street.  Th room was soon fuul of th aplieanses
I had baut with his muny; th werk was going on stedily,
sucsesfuly, drawing neer an end.  I was liek a man emerjing frum a
thiket, and sudenly cuming on sum unmeaning trajedy.  I went to
berry him.  Mi miend was stil on this reserch, and I did not lift a
fingger to saev his carracter.  I remember th fueneral, th cheep
hers, th scant serremoeny, th windy frost-biten hilsied, and th
oeld colej frend of his hoo reed th servis oever him,--a shaby,
blak, bent oeld man with a snivelling coeld.
"I remember wauking bak to th empty hoem, thru th plaes that
had wuns bin a vilej and was now pacht and tinkerd bi th jerry
bilders into th ugly lieknes of a toun.  Evry wae th roeds ran
out at last into th desecraeted feelds and ended in rubl heeps and
rank wet weeds.  I remember mieself as a gaunt blak figuer, going
along th slipery, shieny paevment, and th straenj sens of
detachment I felt frum th sqolid respectability, th sordid
comershalizm of th plaes.
"I did not feel a bit sorry for mi faather.  He seemd to me to be th
victim of his oen foolish sentimentality.  Th curent cant reqierd
mi atendans at his fueneral, but it was reealy not mi afair.
"But going along th Hi Street, mi oeld lief caem bak to me for a
spaes, for I met th gerl I had noen ten yeers sinss.  Our ies met.
"Sumthing moovd me to tern bak and tauk to her.  She was a verry
ordinairy person.
"It was all liek a dreem, that vizit to th oeld plaeses.  I did not
feel then that I was loenly, that I had cum out frum th werld into
a desolet plaes.  I apreeshiaeted mi loss of simpathy, but I puut it
doun to th jeneral inanity of things.  Re-entering mi room seemd
liek th recuvery of reality.  Thair wer th things I nue and
luvd.  Thair stuud th aparatus, th experriments araenjd and
waeting.  And now thair was scairsly a dificulty left, beyond th
planing of deetaels.
"I wil tel U, Kemp, sooner or laeter, all th complicaeted
proseses.  We need not go into that now.  For th moest part, saeving
serten gaps I choez to remember, thae ar riten in cypher in thoes
buuks that tramp has hiden.  We must hunt him doun.  We must get
thoes buuks agen.  But th esenshal faez was to plaes th
transpairent object hoos refractiv index was to be loeerd between
too raediaeting centres of a sort of etheerial viebraeshun, of which I
wil tel U mor fuuly laeter.  No, not thees Rntgen vibrations--I
don't noe that thees uthers of mien hav bin descriebd.  Yet thae
ar obvius enuf.  I needed too litl dynamos, and thees I werkt
with a cheep gas enjin.  Mi ferst experriment was with a bit of whiet
wuul fabric.  I was th straenjest thing in th werld to see it in th
fliker of th flashes sofft and whiet, and then to woch it faed liek
a reeth of smoek and vanish.
"I cuud scairsly beleev I had dun it.  I puut mi hand into th
emptynes, and thair was th thing as solid as ever.  I felt it
aukwardly, and throo it on th flor.  I had a litl trubl fiending
it agen.
"And then caem a cuerius expeeryens.  I herd a miaow behiend me, and
terning, saw a leen whiet cat, verry derty, on th sistern cuver
outsied th windo.  A thaut caem into mi hed.  'everything redy
for U,' I sed, and went to th windo, oepend it, and calld
sofftly.  She caem in, pering,--th pur beest was starving,--and I
gaev her sum milk.  All mi food was in a cubord in th corner of
th room.  After that she went smeling round th room,--evidently
with th iedeea of maeking herself at hoem.  Th invisibl rag upset her
a bit; U shuud hav seen her spit at it!  But I maed her
cumfortabl on th pilo of mi trukl-bed.  And I gaev her buter
to get her to wosh."
"And U prosest her?"
"I prosest her.  But giving drugs to a cat is no joek, Kemp!  And
th proses faeld."
"Faeld!"
"In too particuelars.  Thees wer th claws and th pigment
stuf--whut is it?--at th bak of th ie in a cat.  U noe?"
"Tapetum."
"Yes, th tapetum.  It didn't go.  After I'd given th stuf to
bleach th blud and dun serten uther things to her, I gaev th
beest oepium, and puut her and th pilo she was sleeping on, on th
aparatus.  And after all th rest had faeded and vanisht, thair
remaend too litl goests of her ies."
"Od!"
"I can't explaen it.  She was bandejd and clampt, of cors, --so I
had her saef; but she woek whiel she was stil misty, and miaowed
dizmaly, and sum wun caem noking.  It was an oeld wuuman frum
dounstairs, hoo suspected me of vivisecting,--a drink-soden oeld
creecher, with oenly a whiet cat to cair for in all th werld.  I
whipt out sum cloroform, and aplied it, and anserd th dor.
'did I heer a cat?' she askt.  'my cat?'  'not heer,' sed I, verry
polietly.  She was a litl doutful and tried to peer past me into
th room; straenj enuf to her no dout,--bair walls, uncurtained
windoes, trukl-bed, with th gas enjin viebraeting, and th seethe
of th raediant points, and that faent gastly stinging of cloroform
in th air.  She had to be satisfied at last and went awae agen."
"How long did it taek?" askt Kemp.
"Three or foer ours--th cat.  Th boens and sinues and th fat wer
th last to go, and th tips of th culord hairs.  And, as I sae,
th bak part of th ie, tuf iridesent stuf it is, wuudn't go
at all.
"It was niet outsied long befor th biznes was oever, and nuthing
was to be seen but th dim ies and th claws.  I stopt th gas
enjin, felt for and stroekt th beest, which was stil insensible,
and then, being tierd, left it sleeping on th invisibl pilo and
went to bed.  I found it hard to sleep.  I lae awaek thinking weak
aemles stuf, going oever th experriment oever and oever agen, or
dreeming feeverishly of things groeing misty and vanishing about me,
until evrything, th ground I stuud on, vanisht, and so I caem to
that sikly falling nietmair wun gets.  About too, th cat began
miaowing about th room.  I tried to hush it bi tauking to it, and
then I desieded to tern it out.  I remember th shok I had when
strieking a liet--thair wer just th round ies shiening green--and
nuthing round them.  I wuud hav given it milk, but I hadn't eny.
It wuudn't be qieet, it just sat doun and miaowed at th dor.  I
tried to cach it, with an iedeea of puuting it out of th windo, but
it wuudn't be caut, it vanisht.  Then it began miaowing in
diferent parts of th room.  At last I oepend th windo and maed a
busl.  I supoez it went out at last.  I never saw eny mor of it.
"Then--Heven noes whi--I fel thinking of mi father's fueneral
agen, and th dizmal windy hilsied, until th dae had cum.  I
found sleeping was hoeples, and, loking mi dor after me, waanderd
out into th morning streets."
"U don't meen to sae thair's an invisibl cat at larj!"  sed
Kemp.
"If it hasn't bin kild," sed th Invisibl Man.  "Whi not?"
"Whi not?" sed Kemp.  "I didn't meen to interupt."
"It's verry probably bin kild," sed th Invisibl Man.  "It was
aliev foer daes after, I noe, and doun a graeting in Graet Titchfield
Street; becauz I saw a croud round th plaes, trieing to see whens
th miaowing caem."
He was sielent for th best part of a minit.  Then he rezoomd
abruptly:
"I remember that morning befor th chaenj verry vividly.  I must hav
gon up Graet Portland Street.  I remember th barraks in Albany
Street, and th hors soeljers cuming out, and at last I found mieself
siting in th sunshien and feeling verry il and straenj, on th
sumit of Primroez Hil.  It was a suny dae in January,--wun of
thoes suny, frosty daes that caem befor th sno this yeer.  Mi
weery braen tried to formuelaet th pozishun, to plot out a plan of
acshun.
"I was serpriezd to fiend, now that mi priez was within mi grasp, how
inconcloosiv its ataenment seemd.  As a mater of fact I was werkt
out; th intens stres of neerly foer years' continueus werk left me
incaepabl of eny strength of feeling.  I was apathetic, and I tried
in vaen to recuver th enthooziazm of mi ferst inqierys, th pashun
of discuvery that had enaebld me to compas eeven th dounfall of mi
father's grae hairs.  Nuthing seemd to mater.  I saw prity cleerly
this was a transhent mood, due to oeverwerk and wont of sleep, and
that eether bi drugs or rest it wuud be posibl to recuver mi
enerjys.
"All I cuud think cleerly was that th thing had to be carryd
thru; th fixt iedeea stil roold me.  And soon, for th muny I
had was allmoest exausted.  I luukt about me at th hilsied, with
children plaeing and gerls woching them, and tried to think of all
th fantastic advantejes an invisibl man wuud hav in th werld.
After a tiem I cralld hoem, tuuk sum food and a strong does of
strychnine, and went to sleep in mi cloeths on mi unmade bed.
Strychnine is a grand tonic, Kemp, to taek th flabbiness out of a
man."
"It's th devil," sed Kemp.  "It's th palaeolithic in a botl."
"I awoek vastly invigorated and rather iritabl.  U noe?"
"I noe th stuf."
"And thair was sum wun raping at th dor.  It was mi landlord with
threts and inqierys, an oeld Polish Jew in a long grae coet and
greezy slipers.  I had bin tormenting a cat in th niet he was
shur,--th oeld woman's tung had bin bizy.  He insisted on noeing
all about it.  Th laws of this cuntry agenst vivisecshun wer verry
seveer,--he miet be lieabl.  I denied th cat.  Then th viebraeshun
of th litl gas enjin cuud be felt all oever th hous, he sed.
That was troo, sertenly.  He ejd round me into th room, peering
about oever his German-silver spectacls, and a suden dred caem into
mi miend that he miet carry awae sumthing of mi seecret.  I tried to
keep between him and th consentraeting aparatus I had araenjd, and
that oenly maed him mor cuerius.  Whut was I doing?  Whi was I allwaes
aloen and seecretiv?  Was it leegal?  Was it daenjerus?  I paed
nuthing but th uezhual rent.  His had allwaes bin a moest respectabl
hous--in a disrepuetabl naeborhuud.  Sudenly mi temper gaev wae.
I toeld him to get out.  He began to protest, to jaber of his riet
of entry.  In a moement I had him bi th colar; sumthing ript, and
he went spining out into his oen pasej.  I slamd and lokt th
dor and sat doun qivering.
"He maed a fus outsied, which I disregarded, and after a tiem he
went awae.
"But this braut maters to a criesis.  I did not noe whut he wuud
do, nor eeven whut he had power to do.  To moov to fresh apartments
wuud hav ment delae; alltogether I had bairly twenty pounds left in
th werld,--for th moest part in th bank,--and I cuud not aford
that.  Vanish!  It was irrezistibl.  Then thair wuud be an inqiery,
th sacking of mi room--
"At th thaut of th posibility of mi werk being expoezd or
interupted at its verry cliemax, I becaem anggry and activ.  I heryd
out with mi three buuks of noets, mi cheque-buuk,--th tramp has them
now,--and directed them frum th neerest Poest Offis to a hous of
call for leters and parsels in Graet Portland Street.  I tried to go
out noiselessly.  Cuming in, I found mi landlord going qieetly
upstairs; he had herd th dor cloes, I supoez.  U wuud hav
laft to see him jump asied on th landing as I caem tairing after
him.  He glaird at me as I went bi him, and I maed th hous qiver
with th slaming of mi dor.  I herd him cum shufling up to mi
flor, hezitaet, and go doun.  I set to werk upon mi preparaeshuns
forthwith.
"It was all dun that eevning and niet.  Whiel I was stil siting
under th sikly, drouzy inflooens of th drugs that decolourise
blud, thair caem a repeeted noking at th dor.  It seest,
fuutsteps went awae and reternd, and th noking was rezoomd.
Thair was an atempt to puush sumthing under th dor--a bloo paeper.
Then in a fit of iritaeshun I roez and went and flung th dor wied
oepen.  'now then?' sed I.
"It was mi landlord, with a noetis of ejectment or sumthing.  He
held it out to me, saw sumthing od about mi hands, I expect, and
lifted his ies to mi faes.
"For a moement he gaept.  Then he gaev a sort of inarticuelet cri,
dropt candl and rit together, and went blundering doun th dark
pasej to th stairs.  I shut th dor, lokt it, and went to th
luuking-glas.  Then I understuud his terror.  Mi faes was whiet
--liek whiet stoen.
"But it was all horribl.  I had not expected th sufering.  A niet
of raking anggwish, siknes and fainting.  I set mi teeth, tho mi
skin was prezently afier; all mi body afier; but I lae thair liek
grim deth.  I understuud now how it was th cat had hould until I
chloroformed it.  Luky it was I livd aloen and untended in mi room.
Thair wer tiems when I sobd and groend and taukt.  But I stuk
to it.  I becaem insensible and woek langgwid in th darknes.
"Th paen had past.  I thaut I was kiling mieself and I did not
cair.  I shal never forget that daun, and th straenj horror of
seeing that mi hands had becum as clouded glas, and woching them
gro cleerer and thiner as th dae went bi, until at last I cuud
see th sikly disorder of mi room thru them, tho I cloezd mi
transpairent ielids.  Mi lims becaem glasy, th boens and arterys
faeded, vanisht, and th litl whiet nervs went last.  I ground mi
teeth and staed thair to th end.  At last oenly th ded tips of th
fingger-naels remaend, palid and whiet, and th broun staen of sum
asid upon mi finggers.
"I strugld up.  At ferst I was as incaepabl as a swathed
infant,--steping with lims I cuud not see.  I was weak and verry
hunggry.  I went and staird at nuthing in mi shaeving-glas, at nuthing
saev wherr an attenuated pigment stil remaend behiend th retina of
mi ies, fainter than mist.  I had to hang on to th taebl and pres
mi forhed to th glas.
"It was oenly bi a frantic efort of wil that I dragd mieself bak
to th aparatus and compleeted th proses.
"I slept during th fornoon, puuling th sheet oever mi ies to shut
out th liet, and about middae I was awaekend agen bi a noking.
Mi strength had reternd.  I sat up and lisend and herd a
whispering.  I sprang to mi feet and as noiselessly as posibl began
to detach th conecshuns of mi aparatus, and to distribuet it about
th room, so as to destroi th sugjeschuns of its araenjment.
Prezently th noking was renued and voises calld, ferst mi
landlord's, and then too uthers.  To gaen tiem I anserd them.  Th
invisibl rag and pilo caem to hand and I oepend th windo and
picht them out on to th sistern cuver.  As th windo oepend, a
hevy crash caem at th dor.  Sum wun had charjd it with th iedeea
of smashing th lok.  But th stout boelts I had scrood up sum daes
befor stopt him.  That startld me, maed me anggry.  I began to
trembl and do things herydly.
"I tosst together sum loos paeper, straw, paking paeper and so
forth, in th midl of th room, and ternd on th gas.  Hevy bloes
began to raen upon th dor.  I cuud not fiend th maches.  I beet
mi hands on th wall with raej.  I ternd doun th gas agen, stept
out of th windo on th sistern cuver, verry sofftly loeerd th sash,
and sat doun, secuer and invisibl, but qivering with angger, to
woch events.  Thae split a panel, I saw, and in anuther moement thae
had broeken awae th staepls of th boelts and stuud in th oepen
dorwae.  It was th landlord and his too step-suns, sterdy yung men
of three or foer and twenty.  Behiend them fluterd th oeld hag of a
wuuman frum dounstairs.
"U mae imajin thair astonishment on fiending th room empty.  Wun
of th yungger men rusht to th windo at wuns, flung it up and
staird out.  His stairing ies and thik-lipped beerded faes caem a
fuut frum mi faes.  I was haf miended to hit his sily countenans,
but I arested mi dubld fist.  He staird riet thru me.  So did
th uthers as thae joind him.  Th oeld man went and peerd under th
bed, and then thae all maed a rush for th cubord.  Thae had to
argue about it at length in Yiddish and Cokny English.  Thae
conclooded I had not anserd them, that thair imajinaeshun had
deseevd them.  A feeling of extraordinairy elaeshun tuuk th plaes of
mi angger as I sat outsied th windo and wocht thees foer
peepl--for th oeld laedy caem in, glansing suspishusly about her
liek a cat, trieing to understand th ridl of mi behaevuer.
"Th oeld man, so far as I cuud understand his patois, agreed with
th oeld laedy that I was a vivisectionist.  Th suns proetested in
garbld English that I was an electrishan, and apeeld to th
dynamos and raediaetors.  Thae wer all nervus agenst mi arieval,
alltho I found subseqently that thae had boelted th frunt dor.
Th oeld laedy peerd into th cubord and under th bed, and wun of
th yung men puusht up th rejister and staird up th chimny.  Wun
of mi felo lojers, a costermonger hoo shaird th opozit room
with a buucher, apeerd on th landing, and he was calld in and
toeld incoeheerent things.
"It ocurd to me that th raediaetors, if thae fel into th hands of
sum acuet wel-ejucaeted person, wuud giv me awae too much, and
woching mi oportuenity, I caem into th room and tilted wun of th
litl dynamos off its felo on which it was standing, and smasht
boeth aparatus.  Then, whiel thae wer trieing to explaen th smash, I
dojd out of th room and went sofftly dounstairs.
"I went into wun of th siting-rooms and waeted until thae caem
doun, stil specuelaeting and arguementativ, all a litl disapointed
at fiending no 'horrors,' and all a litl puzld how thae stuud with
regard to me.  Then I slipt up agen with a box of maches, fierd
mi heep of paeper and rubish, puut th chairs and beding thairbi, led
th gas to th afair, bi meens of an india- ruber tueb, and waeving
a fairwel to th room left it for th last tiem."
"U fierd th hous!" exclaemd Kemp.
"Fierd th hous.  It was th oenly wae to cuver mi trael--and no
dout it was inshurd.  I slipt th boelts of th frunt dor qieetly
and went out into th street.  I was invisibl, and I was oenly just
begining to realise th extraordinairy advantej mi invizibility gaev
me.  Mi hed was allredy teeming with plans of all th wield and
wunderful things I had now impuenity to do."
			      **********
			      Chapter 21
			   In Oxford Street
"In going dounstairs th ferst tiem I found an unexpected dificulty
becauz I cuud not see mi feet; indeed I stumbld twies, and thair
was an unacustomd clumzynes in griping th boelt.  Bi not luuking
doun, however, I manejd to wauk on th level passably wel.
"Mi mood, I sae, was wun of exalltaeshun.  I felt as a seeing man miet
do, with paded feet and noizles cloeths, in a sity of th bliend.
I expeeryenst a wield impuls to jest, to startl peepl, to clap men
on th bak, fling people's hats astrae, and jeneraly revel in mi
extraordinairy advantej.
"But hardly had I emerjd upon Graet Portland Street, however (mi
lojings was cloes to th big draper's shop thair), when I herd a
clashing concushun and was hit vieolently behiend, and terning saw a
man carrying a basket of soeda-wauter siefons, and luuking in amaezment
at his berden.  Alltho th blo had reealy hert me, I found
sumthing so irrezistibl in his astonishment that I laft aloud.
'the devil's in th basket,' I sed, and sudenly twisted it out of
his hand.  He let go incontinently, and I swung th hoel waet into
th air.
"But a fool of a cabman, standing outsied a public hous, maed a
suden rush for this, and his extending finggers tuuk me with
excrooshiaeting vieolens under th eer.  I let th hoel doun with a
smash on th cabman, and then, with shouts and th clater of feet
about me, peepl cuming out of shops, veeicls puuling up, I realised
whut I had dun for mieself, and cursing mi foly, bakt agenst a
shop windo and prepaird to doj out of th confuezhun.  In a moement
I shuud be wejd into a croud and inevitably discuverd.  I puusht
bi th buucher boi, hoo lukily did not tern to see th nuthingnes
that shuvd him asied, and dojd behiend th cabman's foer-wheeler.
I do not noe how thae setld th biznes.  I heryd straet
across th roed, which was hapily cleer, and hardly heeding which
wae I went, in th friet of detecshun th insident had given,
plunjd into th afternoon throng of Oxford Street.
"I tried to get into th streem of peepl, but thae wer too thik
for me, and in a moement mi heels wer being trodden upon.  I tuuk to
th guter, th rufnes of which I found paenful to mi feet, and
forthwith th shaft of a cralling hansum dug me forsibly under th
shoelder blaed, remiending me that I was allredy broozd seveerly.  I
stagerd out of th wae of th cab, avoided a perambuelaetor bi a
convulsiv moovment, and found mieself behiend th hansum.  A hapy
thaut saevd me, and as this droev sloely along I foloed in its
imeedyet waek, trembling and astonisht at th tern of mi advencher.
And not oenly trembling, but shivering.  It was a briet dae in
January and I was stark naeked and th thin sliem of mud that cuverd
th roed was freezing.  Foolish as it seems to me now, I had not
rekond that, transpairent or not, I was stil ameenabl to th
wether and all its conseqenses.
"Then sudenly a briet iedeea caem into mi hed.  I ran round and got
into th cab.  And so, shivering, scaird, and snifing with th ferst
intimaeshuns of a coeld, and with th broozes in th small of mi bak
groeing upon mi atenshun.  I droev sloely along Oxford Street and
past Tottenham Cort Roed.  Mi mood was as diferent frum that in
which I had sallied forth ten minits ago as it is posibl to
imajin.  This invizibility indeed!  Th wun thaut that pozest
me was--how was I to get out of th scraep I was in.
"We cralld past Mudie's, and thair a tall wuuman with fiev or six
yelo-laebeld buuks haeld mi cab, and I sprang out just in tiem to
escaep her, shaeving a raelwae van narroely in mi fliet.  I maed off
up th roedwae to Bloomsbury Sqair, intending to striek north past
th Muezeeum and so get into th qieet district.  I was not crooely
child, and th straenjnes of mi sichuaeshun so unnervd me that I
whimpered as I ran.  At th northward corner of th Sqair a litl
whiet daug ran out of th Farmasootical Society's offises, and
incontinently maed for me, noez doun.
"I had never realised it befor, but th noez is to th miend of a daug
whut th ie is to th miend of a seeing man.  Daugs perseev th sent
of a man mooving as men perseev his vizhun.  This broot began barking
and leeping, shoeing, as it seemd to me, oenly too plaenly that he
was awair of me.  I crosst Graet Russell Street, glansing oever mi
shoelder as I did so, and went sum wae along Montague Street befor
I realised whut I was runing tords.
"Then I becaem awair of a blair of muezic, and luuking along th
street saw a number of peepl advansing out of Russell Sqair, red
sherts, and th baner of th Salvaeshun Army to th for.  Such a
croud, chanting in th roedwae and scofing on th paevment, I cuud
not hoep to penetraet, and dreding to go bak and farther frum hoem
agen, and desieding on th sper of th moement, I ran up th whiet
steps of a hous faesing th Muezeeum railings, and stuud thair until
th croud shuud hav past.  Hapily th daug stopt at th noiz
of th band too, hezitaeted, and ternd tael, runing bak to
Bloomsbury Sqair agen.
"On caem th band, bawling with unconshus ierony sum him about
'when shal we see his Faes?' and it seemd an interminabl tiem to
me befor th tied of th croud wosht along th paevment bi me.
Thud, thud, thud, caem th drum with a viebraeting rezonans, and for
th moement I did not noetis too erchins stoping at th railings bi
me.  'see 'em,' sed wun.  'see whut?' sed th uther.  'why--them
footmarks--bair.  Liek whut U maeks in mud.'
"I luukt doun and saw th yungsters had stopt and wer gaeping at
th mudy footmarks I had left behiend me up th nuely whietend steps.
Th pasing peepl elbowed and jostled them, but thair confounded
intelijens was arested.  'thud, thud, thud, When, thud, shal we
see, thud, his faes, thud, thud.'  'there's a bairfuut man gon up
them steps, or I don't noe nuthing,' sed wun.  'and he ain't never
cum doun agen.  And his fuut was a-bleeding.'
"Th thik of th croud had allredy past.  'looky thair, Ted,'
quoth th yungger of th detectivs, with th sharpnes of serpriez
in his vois, and pointed straet to mi feet.  I luukt doun and saw
at wuns th dim sugjeschun of thair outlien skecht in splashes of
mud.  For a moement I was paralysed.
"'why, that's rum,' sed th elder.  'dashed rum!  It's just liek th
goest of a fuut, ain't it?'  He hezitaeted and advanst with
outstrecht hand.  A man puuld up short to see whut he was
caching, and then a gerl.  In anuther moement he wuud hav tucht
me.  Then I saw whut to do.  I maed a step, th boi started bak with
an exclamaeshun, and with a rapid moovment I swung mieself oever into
th portico of th next hous.  But th smaller boi was sharp-ied
enuf to folo th moovment and befor I was wel doun th steps
and upon th paevment, he had recuverd frum his moementairy
astonishment and was shouting out that th feet had gon oever th
wall.
"Thae rusht round and saw mi nue footmarks flash into being on th
loeer step and upon th paevment.  'what's up?' askt sum wun.
'feet!  Luuk!  Feet runing!'  Evrybody in th roed, exsept mi three
persooers, was poring along after th Salvaeshun Army, and this not
oenly impeeded me but them.  Thair was an edy of serpriez and
interrogaeshun.  At th cost of boeling oever wun yung felo I got
thru, and in anuther moement I was rushing hedlong round th
serkit of Russell Sqair, with six or seven astonisht peepl
foloeing mi footmarks.  Thair was no tiem for explanaeshun, or els
th hoel hoest wuud hav bin after me.
"Twies I dubld round corners, thries I crosst th roed and caem
bak on mi traks, and then, as mi feet groo hot and dri, th damp
impreshuns began to faed.  At last I had a breething spaes and
rubd mi feet cleen with mi hands, and so got awae alltogether.  Th
last I saw of th chaes was a litl groop of a duzen peepl perhaps,
studying with infinit perplexity a sloely drieing fuutprint that had
rezulted frum a pudl in Travistock Sqair--a fuutprint as iesolaeted
and incomprehensibl to them as Crusoe's solitairy discuvery.
"This runing wormd me to a serten extent, and I went on with a
beter curej thru th maez of les freqented roeds that runs
heerabouts.  Mi bak had now becum verry stif and sor, mi tonsils
wer paenful frum th cabman's finggers, and th skin of mi nek had
bin scracht bi his naels; mi feet hert exseedingly and I was laem
frum a litl cut on wun fuut.  I saw in tiem a bliend man aproeching
me, and fled limping, for I feerd his sutl intueishuns.  Wuns or
twies acsidental colizhuns ocurd and I left peepl amaezd, with
unacountabl curses ringing in thair eers.  Then caem sumthing
sielent and qieet agenst mi faes, and across th Sqair fel a thin
vael of sloely falling flaeks of sno.  I had caut a coeld, and do
as I wuud I cuud not avoid an ocaezhunal sneez.  And evry daug
that caem in siet, with its pointing noez and cuerius snifing, was
a terror to me.
"Then caem men and bois runing, ferst wun and then uthers, and
shouting as thae ran.  It was a fier.  Thae ran in th direcshun of
mi lojing, and luuking bak doun a street I saw a mas of blak
smoek streeming up abuv th roofs and telefoen wiers.  It was mi
lojing berning; mi cloeths, mi aparatus, all mi resorses indeed,
exsept mi cheque-buuk and th three voluems of memoranda that awaeted
me in Graet Portland Street, wer thair.  Berning!  I had bernt mi
boets--if ever a man did!  Th plaes was blaezing."
Th Invisibl Man pauzd and thaut.  Kemp glanst nervusly out of
th windo.  "Yes?" he sed.  "Go on."
			      **********
			      Chapter 22
			   In th Emporium
"So last January, with th begining of a snoestorm in th air about
me--and if it setld on me it wuud betrae me!--weery, coeld,
paenful, inexpresibly reched, and stil but haf convinst of mi
invisibl qolity, I began this nue lief to which I am comited.  I
had no refuej, no aplieanses, no hueman being in th werld in hoom I
cuud confied.  To hav toeld mi seecret wuud hav given me awae--maed
a meer sho and rairity of me.  Nevertheles, I was haf miended to
acost sum passer-bi and thro mieself upon his mersy.  But I nue
too cleerly th terror and brootal crooelty mi advanses wuud evoek.  I
maed no plans in th street.  Mi soel object was to get shelter frum
th sno, to get mieself cuverd and worm; then I miet hoep to plan.
But eeven to me, an Invisibl Man, th roes of London houses stuud
lacht, bard, and boelted impregnably.
"Oenly wun thing cuud I see cleerly befor me, th coeld expoezher and
mizery of th snoestorm and th niet.
"And then I had a brilyant iedeea.  I ternd doun wun of th roeds
leeding frum Gower Street to Tottenham Cort Roed, and found mieself
outsied Omniums, th big establishment wherr evrything is to be
baut--U noe th plaes--meet, groesery, linen, fernicher,
cloething, oil paentings eeven--a huej meandering colecshun of shops
rather than a shop.  I had thaut I shuud fiend th dors oepen, but
thae wer cloezd, and as I stuud in th wied entrans a carrej
stopt outsied, and a man in ueniform--U noe th kiend of personej
with 'omnium' on his cap--flung oepen th dor.  I contrievd to enter,
and wauking doun th shop--it was a department wherr thae wer
seling ribons and gluvs and stokings and that kiend of thing--caem
to a mor spaeshus reejon devoeted to picnik baskets and wiker
fernicher.
"I did not feel saef thair, however; peepl wer going to and fro,
and I prould restlesly about until I caem upon a huej secshun in an
uper flor contaening scors and hundreds of bedsteads, and beyond
thees I found a resting-plaes at last amung a huej piel of foelded
flok matreses.  Th plaes was allredy lit up and aggreeably worm,
and I desieded to remaen wherr I was, keeping a caushus ie on th
too or three sets of shopmen and customers hoo wer meandering
thru th plaes until cloezing tiem caem.  Then I shuud be aebl, I
thaut, to rob th plaes for food and cloething, and disgiezd, proul
thru it and examin its resorses, perhaps sleep on sum of th
beding.  That seemd an acseptabl plan.  Mi iedeea was to proecuer
cloething to maek mieself a mufld but acseptabl figuer, to get
muny, and then to recuver mi buuks and parsels wherr thae awaeted
me, taek a lojing sumwherr and elaboret plans for th compleet
realisation of th advantejes mi invizibility gaev me (as I stil
imajind) oever mi felo-men.
"Cloezing tiem arievd qikly enuf; it cuud not hav bin mor
than an our after I tuuk up mi pozishun on th matreses befor I
noetist th bliends of th windoes being drawn, and customers being
marcht doorward.  And then a number of brisk yung men began with
remarkabl alacrity to tiedy up th guuds that remaend disterbd.  I
left mi lair as th crouds diminisht, and prould caushusly out
into th les desolet parts of th shop.  I was reealy serpriezd to
obzerv how rapidly th yung men and wimen whipt awae th guuds
displaed for sael during th dae.  All th boxes of guuds, th
hanging fabrics, th festoons of laes, th boxes of sweets in th
groesery secshun, th displaes of this and that, wer being whipt
doun, foelded up, slapt into tiedy receptacles, and evrything that
cuud not be taeken doun and puut awae had sheets of sum cors stuf
liek sacking flung oever it.  Fienaly all th chairs wer ternd up on
to th counters, leeving th flor cleer.  Directly eech of thees
yung peepl had dun, he or she maed promptly for th dor with such
an expreshun of animaeshun as I hav rairly obzervd in a shop
asistant befor.  Then caem a lot of yungsters scatering sawdust
and carrying paels and brooms.  I had to doj to get out of th wae,
and as it was, mi ankl got stung with th sawdust.  For sum tiem,
waandering thru th swathed and darkend departments, I cuud heer
th brooms at werk.  And at last a guud our or mor after th shop
had bin cloezd, caem a noiz of loking dors.  Sielens caem upon
th plaes, and I found mieself waandering thru th vast and
intriket shops, galerys and sho-rooms of th plaes, aloen.  It was
verry stil; in wun plaes I remember pasing neer wun of th Tottenham
Cort Roed entrances and lisening to th taping of bootheels of th
passers-bi.
"Mi ferst vizit was to th plaes wherr I had seen stokings and
gluvs for sael.  It was dark, and I had th devil of a hunt after
maches, which I found at last in th dror of th litl cash desk.
Then I had to get a candl.  I had to tair doun wrappings and ransak
a number of boxes and drors, but at last I manejd to tern out whut
I saut; th box laebel calld them lambswool pants, and lambswool
vests.  Then soks, a thik cumforter, and then I went to th
cloething plaes and got trouzers, a lounj jaket, an oevercoet and a
slouch hat --a clerrical sort of hat with th brim ternd doun.  I
began to feel a hueman being agen, and mi next thaut was food.
"Upstairs was a refreshment department, and thair I got coeld meet.
Thair was coffy stil in th ern, and I lit th gas and wormd it up
agen, and alltogether I did not do badly.  Afterwards, prouling
thru th plaes in serch of blankets--I had to puut up at last with
a heep of doun qilts--I caem upon a groesery secshun with a lot of
chocolet and candyd froots, mor than was guud for me indeed--and
sum whiet burgundy.  And neer that was a toi department, and I had a
brilyant iedeea.  I found sum artifishal noezes--dumy noezes, U
noe, and I thaut of dark spectacls.  But Omniums had no optical
department.  Mi noez had bin a dificulty indeed--I had thaut of
paent.  But th discuvery set mi miend runing on wigs and masks and
th liek.  Fienaly I went to sleep on a heep of doun qilts, verry
worm and cumfortabl.
"Mi last thauts befor sleeping wer th moest agreeabl I had had
sinss th chaenj.  I was in a staet of fizical serenity, and that
was reflected in mi miend.  I thaut that I shuud be aebl to slip
out unobserved in th morning with mi cloeths upon me, mufling mi
faes with a whiet raper I had taeken, perchas, with th muny I had
taeken, spectacls and so forth, and so compleet mi disgiez.  I
lapst into disorderly dreems of all th fantastic things that had
hapend during th last fue daes.  I saw th ugly litl Jew of a
landlord vociferating in his rooms; I saw his too suns marveling,
and th rinkld oeld woman's narld faes as she askt for her cat.
I expeeryenst agen th straenj sensaeshun of seeing th clauth
disapeer, and so I caem round to th windy hilsied and th snifing
oeld clerjyman mumbling 'dust to dust, erth to erth,' and mi
father's oepen graev.
"'you allso,' sed a vois, and sudenly I was being forst tords
th graev.  I strugld, shouted, apeeld to th morners, but thae
continued stoenily foloeing th servis; th oeld clerjyman, too,
never fallterd droning and snifing thru th richual.  I realised I
was invisibl and inaudibl, that oeverwhelming forses had thair grip
on me.  I strugld in vaen, I was forst oever th brink, th coffin
rang holo as I fel upon it, and th gravel caem flieing after me in
spadefuls.  Noebody heeded me, noebody was awair of me.  I maed
convulsiv strugls and awoek.
"Th pael London daun had cum, th plaes was fuul of a chily grae
liet that filterd round th ejes of th windo bliends.  I sat up,
and for a tiem I cuud not think wherr this ampl apartment, with its
counters, its piels of roeld stuf, its heeps of qilts and
cuushuns, its ieern pilars, miet be.  Then, as recolecshun caem
bak to me, I herd voises in conversaeshun.
"Then far doun th plaes, in th brieter liet of sum department
which had allredy raezd its bliends, I saw too men aproeching.  I
scrambld to mi feet, luuking about me for sum wae of escaep, and
eeven as I did so th sound of mi moovment maed them awair of me.  I
supoez thae saw meerly a figuer mooving qieetly and qikly awae.
'who's that?' cried wun, and 'stop thair,' shouted th uther.  I
dasht round a corner and caem fuul tilt--a faesles figuer, miend
U!--on a lanky lad of fifteen.  He yeld and I bowled him oever,
rusht past him, ternd anuther corner, and bi a hapy inspiraeshun
throo mieself flat behiend a counter.  In anuther moement feet went
runing past and I herd voises shouting, 'all hands to th dors!'
asking whut was 'up,' and giving wun anuther advies how to cach me.
"Lieing on th ground, I felt scaird out of mi wits.  But--od as it
mae seem--it did not ocur to me at th moement to taek off mi cloeths
as I shuud hav dun.  I had maed up mi miend, I supoez, to get awae
in them, and that roold me.  And then doun th vista of th counters
caem a bawling of 'here he is!'
"I sprang to mi feet, whipt a chair off th counter, and sent it
wherling at th fool hoo had shouted, ternd, caem into anuther round
a corner, sent him spining, and rusht up th stairs.  He kept his
fuuting, gaev a vue hallo! and caem up th staircaes hot after me.
Up th staircaes wer pield a multitued of thoes briet- culord pot
things--whut ar thae?"
"Art pots," sugjested Kemp.
"That's it!  Art pots.  Wel, I ternd at th top step and swung
round, plukt wun out of a piel and smasht it on his sily hed as
he caem at me.  Th hoel piel of pots went hedlong, and I herd
shouting and fuutsteps runing frum all parts.  I maed a mad rush for
th refreshment plaes, and thair was a man in whiet liek a man cuuk,
hoo tuuk up th chaes.  I maed wun last desperet tern and found
mieself amung lamps and ironmongery.  I went behiend th counter of
this, and waeted for mi cuuk, and as he boelted in at th hed of th
chaes, I dubld him up with a lamp.  Doun he went, and I croucht
behiend th counter and began whiping off mi cloeths as fast as I
cuud.  Coet, jaket, trouzers, shoos wer all riet, but a lambswool
vest fits a man liek a skin.  I herd mor men cuming, mi cuuk was
lieing qieet on th uther sied of th counter, stund or scaird
speechles, and I had to maek anuther dash for it, liek a rabit
hunted out of a wuud-piel.
"'this wae, poleesman!' I herd sum wun shouting.  I found mieself in
mi bedsted stor-room agen, and at th end a wildernes of
wardrobes.  I rusht amung them, went flat, got rid of mi vest after
infinit wriggling, and stuud a free man agen, panting and scaird,
as th poleesman and three of th shopmen caem round th corner.
Thae maed a rush for th vest and pants, and colard th trouzers.
'he's droping his plunder,' sed wun of th yung men.  'he must be
sumwherr heer.'
"But thae did not fiend me all th saem.
"I stuud woching them hunt for me for a tiem, and cursing mi
il-luk in loozing th cloeths.  Then I went into th refreshment-
room, drank a litl milk I found thair, and sat doun bi th fier to
consider mi pozishun.
"In a litl whiel too asistants caem and began to tauk oever th
biznes verry exsietedly and liek th fools thae wer.  I herd a
magnified acount of mi depredaeshuns, and uther specuelaeshuns as to mi
wherrabouts.  Then I fel to skeeming agen.  Th insermountabl
dificulty of th plaes, espeshaly now it was alarmd, was to get
eny plunder out of it.  I went doun into th wairhous to see if
thair was eny chans of paking and adresing a parsel, but I cuud
not understand th sistem of cheking.  About eleven o'clok, th
sno having thawd as it fel, and th dae being fiener and a litl
wormer than th preevius wun, I desieded that th Emporium was
hoeples, and went out agen, exasperaeted at mi wont of sucses, with
oenly th vaegest plans of acshun in mi miend."
			      **********
			      Chapter 23
			    In Drury Laen
"But U begin to realise now," sed th Invisibl Man, "th fuul
disadvantej of mi condishun.  I had no shelter, no cuvering.  To get
cloething was to forgo all mi advantej, to maek of mieself a straenj
and terribl thing.  I was fasting; for to eet, to fil mieself with
unassimilated mater, wuud be to becum groeteskly vizibl agen."
"I never thaut of that," sed Kemp.
"Nor had I.  And th sno had wornd me of uther daenjers.  I cuud
not go abraud in sno--it wuud setl on me and expoez me.  Raen,
too, wuud maek me a wautery outlien, a glisening serfis of a man--a
bubl.  And fog--I shuud be liek a fainter bubl in a fog, a
serfis, a greezy glimer of huemanity.  Moroever, as I went
abraud--in th London air--I gatherd dert about mi ankls, floeting
smuts and dust upon mi skin.  I did not noe how long it wuud be
befor I shuud becum vizibl frum that cauz allso.  But I saw
cleerly it cuud not be for long.
"Not in London at eny raet.
"I went into th slums tords Graet Portland Street, and found
mieself at th end of th street in which I had lojd.  I did not go
that wae, becauz of th croud hafwae doun it opozit to th stil
smoeking rooins of th hous I had fierd.  Mi moest imeedyet problem
was to get cloething.  Whut to do with mi faes puzld me.  Then I saw
in wun of thoes litl miselaenius shops--nues, sweets, tois,
staeshunerry, belaeted Christmas tomfoolery, and so forth--an arae of
masks and noezes.  I realised that problem was solvd.  In a flash I
saw mi cors.  I ternd about, no longger aemles, and went--
circuitously in order to avoid th bizy waes, tords th bak
streets north of th Strand; for I rememberd, tho not verry
distinktly wherr, that sum theatrical costumiers had shops in that
district.
"Th dae was coeld, with a niping wind doun th northward runing
streets.  I waukt fast to avoid being oevertaeken.  Evry crossing was
a daenjer, evry pasenjer a thing to woch alertly.  Wun man as I was
about to pas him at th top of Bedford Street, ternd upon me
abruptly and caem into me, sending me into th roed and allmoest under
th wheel of a pasing hansum.  Th verdict of th cab-rank was that
he had had sum sort of stroek.  I was so unnervd bi this encounter
that I went into Covent Garden Market and sat doun for sum tiem in a
qieet corner bi a stall of vieolets, panting and trembling.  I found I
had caut a fresh coeld, and had to tern out after a tiem lest mi
sneezes shuud atract atenshun.
"At last I reecht th object of mi qest, a derty fli-bloen litl
shop in a biewae neer Drury Laen, with a windo fuul of tinsel roebs,
sham jooels, wigs, slipers, dominoes and theatrical foetografs.
Th shop was oeld-fashund and lo and dark, and th hous roez abuv
it for foer storeys, dark and dizmal.  I peerd thru th windo
and, seeing no wun within, enterd.  Th oepening of th dor set a
clanking bel ringing.  I left it oepen, and waukt round a bair
costoom stand, into a corner behiend a cheval glas.  For a minit or
so no wun caem.  Then I herd hevy feet strieding across a room, and
a man apeerd doun th shop.
"Mi plans wer now perfectly definit.  I propoezd to maek mi wae
into th hous, secreet mieself upstairs, woch mi oportuenity, and
when evrything was qieet, rumej out a wig, mask, spectacls, and
costoom, and go into th werld, perhaps a groetesk but stil a
credibl figuer.  And insidentaly of cors I cuud rob th hous of
eny avaelabl muny.
"Th man hoo had enterd th shop was a short, sliet, huncht,
beetl-browed man, with long arms and verry short bandy legs.
Aparrently I had interupted a meel.  He staird about th shop with
an expreshun of expectaeshun.  This gaev wae to serpriez, and then
angger, as he saw th shop empty.  'damn th bois!' he sed.  He went
to stair up and doun th street.  He caem in agen in a minit,
kikt th dor to with his fuut spitefully, and went mutering bak
to th hous dor.
"I caem forward to folo him, and at th noiz of mi moovment he
stopt ded.  I did so too, startld bi his qiknes of eer.  He
slamd th hous dor in mi faes.
"I stuud hezitaeting.  Sudenly I herd his qik fuutsteps reterning,
and th dor re-oepend.  He stuud luuking about th shop liek wun hoo
was stil not satisfied.  Then, murmuring to himself, he examind th
bak of th counter and peerd behiend sum fixchers.  Then he stuud
doutful.  He had left th hous dor oepen and I slipt into th
iner room.
"It was a qeer litl room, purly fernisht and with a number of
big masks in th corner.  On th taebl was his belaeted brekfast, and
it was a confoundedly exasperaeting thing for me, Kemp, to hav to
snif his coffy and stand woching whiel he caem in and rezoomd his
meel.  And his taebl maners wer iritaeting.  Three dors oepend
into th litl room, wun going upstairs and wun doun, but thae wer
all shut.  I cuud not get out of th room whiel he was thair, I
cuud scairsly moov becauz of his alertnes, and thair was draft
doun mi bak.  Twies I stranggld a sneez just in tiem.
"Th spectacuelar qolity of mi sensaeshuns was cuerius and novel, but
for all that I was hartily tierd and anggry long befor he had dun
his eeting.  But at last he maed an end and puuting his begarly
crokery on th blak tin trae upon which he had had his teepot, and
gathering all th crumbs up on th mustard-staend clauth, he tuuk th
hoel lot of things after him.  His berden prevented his shuting th
dor behiend him--as he wuud hav dun; I never saw such a man for
shuting dors--and I foloed him into a verry derty underground
kichen and sculery.  I had th plezher of seeing him begin to wosh
up, and then, fiending no guud in keeping doun thair, and th brik
flor being coeld to mi feet, I reternd upstairs and sat in his chair
bi th fier.  It was berning lo, and scairsly thinking, I puut on a
litl coel.  Th noiz of this braut him up at wuns, and he stuud
aglare.  He peerd about th room and was within an aes of tuching
me.  Eeven after that examinaeshun, he scairsly seemd satisfied.  He
stopt in th dorwae and tuuk a fienal inspecshun befor he went
doun.
"I waeted in th litl parlour for an aej, and at last he caem up
and oepend th upstairs dor.  I just manejd to get bi him.
"On th staircaes he stopt sudenly, so that I verry neerly
blunderd into him.  He stuud luuking bak riet into mi faes and
lisening.  'I cuud hav sworn,' he sed.  His long hairy hand
puuld at his loeer lip.  His ie went up and doun th staircaes.
Then he grunted and went on up agen.
"His hand was on th handl of a dor, and then he stopt agen with
th saem puzld angger on his faes.  He was becuming awair of th
faent sounds of mi moovments about him.  Th man must hav had
dieabolicaly acuet heering.  He sudenly flasht into raej.  'if
thair's eny wun in this hous,' he cried with an oeth, and left th
thret unfinisht.  He puut his hand in his poket, faeld to fiend
whut he wonted, and rushing past me went blundering noizily and
pugnaciously dounstairs.  But I did not folo him.  I sat on th
hed of th staircaes until his retern.
"Prezently he caem up agen, stil mutering.  He oepend th dor of
th room, and befor I cuud enter, slamd it in mi faes.
"I rezolvd to explor th hous, and spent sum tiem in doing so as
noiselessly as posibl.  Th hous was verry oeld and tumbledown, damp
so that th paeper in th attics was peeling frum th walls, and
rat-infested.  Sum of th dor handls wer stif and I was afraed
to tern them.  Several rooms I did inspect wer unfurnished, and
uthers wer literd with theatrical lumber, baut second-hand, I
jujd, frum its apeerans.  In wun room next to his I found a lot
of oeld cloeths.  I began rooting amung thees, and in mi eegernes
forgot agen th evident sharpnes of his eers.  I herd a stelthy
fuutstep and, luuking up just in tiem, saw him peering in at th
tumbld heep and hoelding an oeld-fashund revolver in his hand.  I
stuud perfectly stil whiel he staird about oepen-mouthd and
suspishus.  'it must hav bin her,' he sed sloely.  'damn her!'
"He shut th dor qieetly, and imeedyetly I herd th kee tern in
th lok.  Then his fuutsteps retreeted.  I realised abruptly that I
was lokt in.  For a minit a did not noe whut to do.  I waukt
frum dor to windo and bak, and stuud perplext.  A gust of angger
caem upon me.  But I desieded to inspect th cloeths befor I did
enything ferther, and mi ferst atempt braut doun a piel frum an
uper shelf.  This braut him bak, mor sinister than ever.  That
tiem he akchualy tucht me, jumpt bak with amaezment and stuud
astonisht in th midl of th room.
"Prezently he caamd a litl.  'rats,' he sed in an undertoen,
finggers on lip.  He was evidently a litl scaird.  I ejd qieetly
out of th room, but a plank creekt.  Then th infernal litl broot
started going all oever th hous, revolver in hand and loking dor
after dor and poketing th kees.  When I realised whut he was up to
I had a fit of raej--I cuud hardly controel mieself sufishently to
woch mi oportuenity.  Bi this tiem I nue he was aloen in th hous,
and so I maed no mor adoo, but nokt him on th hed."
"Nokt him on th hed!" exclaemd Kemp.
"Yes--stund him--as he was going dounstairs.  Hit him frum behiend
with a stool that stuud on th landing.  He went dounstairs liek a
bag of oeld boots."
"But--!  I sae!  Th comon convenshuns of huemanity--"
"Ar all verry wel for comon peepl.  But th point was, Kemp, that
I had to get out of that hous in a disgiez without his seeing me.
I cuudn't think of eny uther wae of doing it.  And then I gagd him
with a Louis Quatorze vest and tied him up in a sheet."
"Tied him up in a sheet!"
"Maed a sort of bag of it.  It was rather a guud iedeea to keep th
idiot scaird and qieet, and a devilish hard thing to get out of--
hed awae frum th string.  Mi deer Kemp, it's no guud yur siting
and glairing as tho I was a merderer.  It had to be dun.  He had
his revolver.  If wuns he saw me he wuud be aebl to descrieb me--"
"But stil," sed Kemp, "in England--to-dae.  And th man was in his
oen hous, and U wer--wel, robing."
"Robing!  Confound it!  U'l call me a theef next!  Shurly, Kemp,
U'r not fool enuf to dans on th oeld strings.  Can't U see mi
pozishun?"
"And his too," sed Kemp.
Th Invisibl Man stuud up sharply.  "Whut do U meen to sae?"
Kemp's faes groo a triefl hard.  He was about to speek and chekt
himself.  "I supoez, after all," he sed with a suden chaenj of
maner, "th thing had to be dun.  U wer in a fix.  But stil--"
"Of cors I was in a fix--an infernal fix.  And he maed me wield
too--hunting me about th hous, fooling about with his revolver,
loking and unloking dors.  He was simply exasperaeting.  U don't
blaem me, do U?  U don't blaem me?"
"I never blaem eny wun," sed Kemp.  "It's qiet out of fashun.
Whut did U do next?"
"I was hunggry.  Dounstairs I found a loef and sum rank cheez --mor
than sufishent to satisfi mi hungger.  I tuuk sum brandy and wauter,
and then went up past mi impromptoo bag--he was lieing qiet stil--to
th room contaening th oeld cloeths.  This luukt out upon th
street, too laes curtens broun with dert garding th windo.  I
went and peerd out thru thair interstisys.  Outsied th dae was
briet--bi contrast with th broun shadoes of th dizmal hous in
which I found mieself, dazlingly briet.  A brisk trafic was going
bi, froot carts, a hansum, a foer-wheeler with a piel of boxes, a
fishmonger's cart.  I ternd with spots of colour swiming befor mi
ies to th shadoey fixchers behiend me.  Mi exsietment was giving
plaes to a cleer aprehenshun of mi pozishun agen.  Th room was
fuul of a faent sent of benzoline, uezd, I supoez, in cleening th
garments.
"I began a sistematic serch of th plaes.  I shuud juj th
hunchbak had bin aloen in th hous for sum tiem.  He was a
cuerius person.  Evrything that cuud posibly be of servis to me I
colected in th cloeths stor-room, and then I maed a deliberet
selecshun.  I found a handbag I thaut a sootabl pozeshun, and
sum pouder, roozh, and stiking-plaster.
"I had thaut of paenting and poudering mi faes and all that thair
was to sho of me, in order to render mieself vizibl, but th
disadvantej of this lae in th fact that I shuud reqier terpentien
and uther aplieanses and a considerabl amount of tiem befor I cuud
vanish agen.  Fienaly I choez a mask of th beter tiep, slietly
groetesk but not mor so than meny hueman beings, dark glases,
greyish whiskers, and a wig.  I cuud fiend no underclothing, but that
I cuud bi subseqently, and for th tiem I swathed mieself in calico
dominoes and sum whiet cashmeer scarfs.  I cuud fiend no soks, but
th hunchback's boots wer rather a loos fit and sufiest.  In a
desk in th shop wer three sovrins and about therty shillings'
werth of silver, and in a lokt cubord I berst in th iner room
wer aet pounds in goeld.  I cuud go forth into th werld agen,
eqipt.
"Then caem a cuerius hezitaeshun.  Was mi apeerans reealy--
credibl?  I tried mieself with a litl bedroom luuking-glas,
inspecting mieself frum evry point of vue to discuver eny forgoten
chink, but it all seemd sound.  I was groetesk to th theatrical
pich, a staej miezer, but I was sertenly not a fizical
imposibility.  Gathering confidens, I tuuk mi luuking-glas doun
into th shop, puuld doun th shop bliends, and servaed mieself frum
evry point of vue with th help of th cheval glas in th corner.
"I spent sum minits scrooing up mi curej and then unlokt th
shop dor and marcht out into th street, leeving th litl man to
get out of his sheet agen when he liekt.  In fiev minits a duzen
ternings interveend between me and th costumier's shop.  No wun
apeerd to noetis me verry pointedly.  Mi last dificulty seemd
oevercum."
He stopt agen.
"And U trubld no mor about th hunchbak?" sed Kemp.
"No," sed th Invisibl Man.  "Nor hav I herd whut becaem of him.
I supoez he untied himself or kikt himself out.  Th nots wer
prity tiet."
He becaem sielent, and went to th windo and staird out.
"Whut hapend when U went out into th Strand?"
"O!--disiloozhunment agen.  I thaut mi trubls wer oever.
Practicaly I thaut I had impuenity to do whutever I choez,
evrything--saev to giv awae mi seecret.  So I thaut.  Whutever I
did, whutever th conseqenses miet be, was nuthing to me.  I had
meerly to fling asied mi garments and vanish.  No person cuud hoeld
me.  I cuud taek mi muny wherr I found it.  I desieded to treet
mieself to a sumpchuos feest, and then puut up at a guud hoetel, and
acuemuelaet a nue outfit of property.  I felt amaezingly
confident--it's not particuelarly plezant recalling that I was an
as.  I went into a plaes and was allredy ordering a lunch, when it
ocurd to me that I cuud not eet unles I expoezd mi invisibl
faes.  I finisht ordering th lunch, toeld th man I shuud be bak
in ten minits, and went out exasperaeted.  I don't noe if U hav
ever bin disapointed in yur apetiet."
"Not qiet so badly," sed Kemp, "but I can imajin it."
"I cuud hav smasht th sily devils.  At last, faent with th
dezier for taestful food, I went into anuther plaes and demanded a
prievet room.  'I am disfiguerd,' I sed.  'badly.'  Thae luukt at
me cueriusly, but of cors it was not thair afair--and so at last I
got mi lunch.  It was not particuelarly wel servd, but it sufiest;
and when I had had it, I sat oever a sigar, trieing to plan mi lien of
acshun.  And outsied a snoestorm was begining.
"Th mor I thaut it oever, Kemp, th mor I realised whut a
helples abserdity an Invisibl Man was--in a coeld and derty cliemet
and a crouded civilised sity.  Befor I maed this mad experriment I
had dremt of a thouzand advantejes.  That afternoon it seemd all
disapointment.  I went oever th heds of th things a man rekons
dezierabl.  No dout invizibility maed it posibl to get them, but
it maed it imposibl to enjoi them when thae ar got.
Ambishun--whut is th guud of pried of plaes when U cannot apeer
thair?  Whut is th guud of th luv of wuuman when her naem must
needs be Delilah?  I hav no taest for politics, for th
blackguardisms of faem, for filanthropy, for sport.  Whut was I to
do?  And for this I had becum a rapt-up mistery, a swathed and
bandejd carricachur of a man!"
He pauzd, and his atitued sugjested a roeving glans at th windo.
"But how did U get to Iping?" sed Kemp, ankshus to keep his gest
bizy tauking.
"I went thair to werk.  I had wun hoep.  It was a haf iedeea!  I hav
it stil.  It is a fuul bloen iedeea now.  A wae of geting bak!  Of
restoring whut I hav dun.  When I chooz.  When I hav dun all I
meen to do invisibly.  And that is whut I cheefly wont to tauk to U
about now."
"U went straet to Iping?"
"Yes.  I had simply to get mi three voluems of memoranda and mi
cheque-buuk, mi lugej and underclothing, order a qontity of
kemicals to werk out this iedeea of mien--I wil sho U th
calcuelaeshuns as soon as I get mi buuks--and then I started.  Jove!  I
remember th snoestorm now, and th acurst bother it was to keep
th sno frum damping mi paestbord noez."
"At th end," sed Kemp, "th dae befor yesterdae, when thae found
U out, U rather--to juj bi th paepers--"
"I did.  Rather.  Did I kil that fool of a constabl?"
"No," sed Kemp.  "He's expected to recuver."
"That's his luk, then.  I cleen lost mi temper, th fools!  Whi
cuudn't thae leev me aloen?  And that groeser lout?"
"Thair ar no deths expected," sed Kemp.
"I don't noe about that tramp of mien," sed th Invisibl Man, with
an unplezant laf.
"Bi Heven, Kemp, U don't noe whut raej is!  To hav werkt for
yeers, to hav pland and ploted, and then to get sum fumbling
perbliend idiot mesing across yur cors!  Evry conseevabl sort of
sily creecher that has ever bin creaeted has bin sent to cross me.
"If I hav much mor of it, I shal go wield--I shal start moeing
'em.
"As it is, thae'v maed things a thouzand tiems mor dificult."
"No dout it's exasperaeting," sed Kemp, driely.
			      **********
			      Chapter 24
			 Th Plan That Faeld
"But now," sed Kemp, with a sied glans out of th windo, "whut ar
we to do?"
He moovd neerer his gest as he spoek in such a maner as to prevent
th posibility of a glimps of th three men hoo wer advansing up
th hil roed--with an intolerabl sloenes, as it seemd to Kemp.
"Whut wer U planing to do when U wer heding for Port Berdok?
Had U eny plan?"
"I was going to cleer out of th cuntry.  But I hav allterd that
plan rather sinss seeing U.  I thaut it wuud be wiez, now th
wether is hot and invizibility posibl, to maek for th South.
Espeshaly as mi seecret was noen, and evry wun wuud be on th
luukout for a maskt and mufld man.  U hav a lien of steamers
frum heer to France.  Mi iedeea was to get abord wun and run th risks
of th pasej.  Thens I cuud go bi traen into Spain, or els get
to Algiers.  It wuud not be dificult.  Thair a man miet allwaes be
invisibl--and yet liv.  And do things.  I was uezing that tramp as a
muny box and lugej carryer, until I desieded how to get mi buuks
and things sent oever to meet me."
"That's cleer."
"And then th filthy broot must needs tri and rob me!  He has hiden
mi buuks, Kemp.  Hiden mi buuks!  If I can lae mi hands on him!"
"Best plan to get th buuks out of him ferst."
"But wherr is he?  Do U noe?"
"He's in th toun polees staeshun, lokt up, bi his oen reqest, in
th stronggest sel in th plaes."
"Cur!" sed th Invisibl Man.
"But that hangs up yur plans a litl."
"We must get thoes buuks; thoes buuks ar vietal."
"Sertenly," sed Kemp, a litl nervusly, wundering if he herd
fuutsteps outsied.  "Sertenly we must get thoes buuks.  But that
woen't be dificult, if he duzn't noe thae'r for U."
"No," sed th Invisibl Man, and thaut.
Kemp tried to think of sumthing to keep th tauk going, but th
Invisibl Man rezoomd of his oen acord.
"Blundering into yur hous, Kemp," he sed, "chaenjes all mi plans.
For U ar a man that can understand.  In spiet of all that has
hapend, in spiet of this publisity, of th loss of mi buuks, of
whut I hav suferd, thair stil remaen graet posibilitys, huej
posibilitys--
"U hav toeld no wun I am heer?" he askt abruptly.
Kemp hezitaeted.  "That was implied," he sed.
"No wun?" insisted Griffin.
"Not a soel."
"Aa!  Now--" Th Invisibl Man stuud up, and stiking his arms akimbo
began to paes th study.
"I maed a mistaek, Kemp, a huej mistaek, in carrying this thing
thru aloen.  I hav waested strength, tiem, oportuenitys.
Aloen--it is wunderful how litl a man can do aloen!  To rob a
litl, to hert a litl, and thair is th end.
"Whut I wont, Kemp, is a goel-keeper, a helper, and a hieding- plaes,
an araenjment wherrbi I can sleep and eet and rest in pees, and
unsuspected.  I must hav a confederet.  With a confederet, with
food and rest--a thouzand things ar posibl.
"Hitherto I hav gon on vaeg liens.  We hav to consider all that
invizibility meens, all that it duz not meen.  It meens litl
advantej for eevzdroping and so forth--wun maeks sounds.  It's of
litl help, a litl help perhaps--in housbraeking and so forth.
Wuns U'v caut me U cuud eezily imprizon me.  But on th uther
hand I am hard to cach.  This invizibility, in fact, is oenly guud in
too caeses: It's uesful in geting awae, it's uesful in aproeching.
It's particuelarly uesful, thairfor, in kiling.  I can wauk round a
man, whutever wepon he has, chooz mi point, striek as I liek.
Doj as I liek.  Escaep as I liek."
Kemp's hand went to his mustash.  Was that a moovment dounstairs?
"And it is kiling we must do, Kemp."
"It is kiling we must do," repeeted Kemp.  "I'm lisening to yur
plan, Griffin, but I'm not agreeing, miend.  Whi kiling?"
"Not wonton kiling but a joodishus slaeing.  Th point is thae noe
thair is an Invisibl Man--as wel as we noe thair is an Invisibl
Man.  And that Invisibl Man, Kemp, must now establish a Raen of
Terror.  Yes--no dout it's startling.  But I meen it.  A Raen of
Terror.  He must taek sum toun liek yur Berdok and terrifi and
dominaet it.  He must ishoo his orders.  He can do that in a thouzand
waes--scraps of paeper thrust under dors wuud sufies.  And all hoo
disoebae his orders he must kil, and kil all hoo wuud defend th
disoebeedyent."
"Humph!" sed Kemp, no longger lisening to Griffin but to th sound
of his frunt dor oepening and cloezing.
"It seems to me, Griffin," he sed, to cuver his waandering atenshun,
"that yur confederet wuud be in a dificult pozishun."
"No wun wuud noe he was a confederet," sed th Invisibl Man,
eegerly.  And then sudenly, "Hush!  Whut's that dounstairs?"
"Nuthing," sed Kemp, and sudenly began to speek loud and fast.  "I
don't agree to this, Griffin," he sed.  "Understand me, I don't
agree to this.  Whi dreem of plaeing a gaem agenst th raes?  How
can U hoep to gaen hapynes?  Don't be a loen wuulf.  Publish yur
rezults; taek th werld--taek th naeshun at leest--into yur
confidens.  Think whut U miet do with a milyon helpers--"
Th Invisibl Man interupted Kemp.  "Thair ar fuutsteps cuming
upstairs," he sed in a lo vois.
"Nonsens," sed Kemp.
"Let me see," sed th Invisibl Man, and advanst, arm extended, to
th dor.
Kemp hezitaeted for a second and then moovd to intersept him.  Th
Invisibl Man started and stuud stil.  "Traetor!" cried th Vois,
and sudenly th dresing-goun oepend, and siting doun th Unseen
began to disroeb.  Kemp maed three swift steps to th dor, and
forthwith th Invisibl Man--his legs had vanisht--sprang to his
feet with a shout.  Kemp flung th dor oepen.
As it oepend, thair caem a sound of herying feet dounstairs and
voises.
With a qik moovment Kemp thrust th Invisibl Man bak, sprang
asied, and slamd th dor.  Th kee was outsied and redy.  In
anuther moement Griffin wuud hav bin aloen in th belvedeer study,
a prizoner.  Saev for wun litl thing.  Th kee had bin slipt in
haestily that morning.  As Kemp slamd th dor it fel noizily upon
th carpet.
Kemp's faes becaem whiet.  He tried to grip th dor handl with boeth
hands.  For a moement he stuud lugging.  Then th dor gaev six
inches.  But he got it cloezd agen.  Th second tiem it was jerkt a
fuut wied, and th dresing-goun caem wedging itself into th
oepening.  His throet was gript bi invisibl finggers, and he left
his hoeld on th handl to defend himself.  He was forst bak,
tript and picht hevily into th corner of th landing.  Th
empty dresing- goun was flung on th top of him.
Hafwae up th staircaes was Curnel Adye, th resipyent of Kemp's
leter, th cheef of th Berdok polees.  He was stairing agast at
th suden apeerans of Kemp, foloed bi th extraordinairy siet of
cloething tossing empty in th air.  He saw Kemp feld, and
strugling to his feet.  He saw him rush forward, and go doun agen,
feld liek an ox.
Then sudenly he was struk vieolently.  Bi nuthing!  A vast waet,
it seemd, lept upon him, and he was herld hedlong doun th
staircaes, with a grip at his throet and a nee in his groin.  An
invisibl fuut trod on his bak, a goestly pater past dounstairs,
he herd th too polees offisers in th hall shout and run, and th
frunt dor of th hous slamd vieolently.
He roeld oever and sat up stairing.  He saw, stagering doun th
staircaes, Kemp, dusty and dishevelled, wun sied of his faes whiet
frum a blo, his lip bleeding, hoelding a pink dresing-goun and sum
underclothing in his arms.
"Mi God!" cried Kemp, "th game's up!  He's gon!"
			      **********
			      Chapter 25
		   Th Hunting of th Invisibl Man
For a spaes Kemp was too inarticuelet to maek Adye understand th
swift things that had just hapend.  Th too men stuud on th
landing, Kemp speeking swiftly, th groetesk swathings of Griffin
stil on his arm.  But prezently Adye began to grasp sumthing of th
sichuaeshun.
"He's mad," sed Kemp; "inhueman.  He is puer selfishnes.  He thinks
of nuthing but his oen advantej, his oen saefty.  I hav lisend to
such a story this morning of brootal self-seeking!  He has woonded
men.  He wil kil them unles we can prevent him.  He wil creaet a
panic.  Nuthing can stop him.  He is going out now--fuerius!"
"He must be caut," sed Adye.  "That is serten."
"But how?" cried Kemp, and sudenly becaem fuul of iedeeas.  "U must
begin at wuns.  U must set evry avaelabl man to werk.  U must
prevent his leeving this district.  Wuns he gets awae he mae go
thru th cuntrysied as he wils, kiling and maiming.  He dreems
of a raen of terror!  A raen of terror, I tel U.  U must set a
woch on traens and roeds and shiping.  Th garrison must help.  U
must wier for help.  Th oenly thing that mae keep him heer is th
thaut of recuvering sum buuks of noets he counts of value.  I wil
tel U of that!  Thair is a man in yur polees staeshun--Marvel."
"I noe," sed Adye, "I noe.  Thoes buuks--yes."
"And U must prevent him frum eeting or sleeping; dae and niet th
cuntry must be astir for him.  Food must be lokt up and secuerd,
all food, so that he wil hav to braek his wae to it.  Th houses
evrywhair must be bard agenst him.  Heven send us coeld niets
and raen!  Th hoel cuntrysied must begin hunting and keep hunting.
I tel U, Adye, he is a daenjer, a dizaster; unles he is pind and
secuerd, it is frietful to think of th things that mae hapen."
"Whut els can we do?" sed Adye.  "I must go doun at wuns and begin
organising.  But whi not cum?  Yes--U cum too!  Cum, and we must
hoeld a sort of counsil of wor,--get Hopps to help--and th raelwae
manejers.  Bi jove! it's erjent.  Cum along--tel me as we go.  Whut
els is thair we can do?  Puut that stuf doun."
In anuther moement Adye was leeding th wae dounstairs.  Thae found
th frunt dor oepen and th poleesmen standing outsied stairing at
empty air.  "He's got awae, ser," sed wun.
"We must go to th sentral staeshun at wuns," sed Adye.  "Wun of U
go on doun and get a cab to cum up and meet us--qikly.  And now,
Kemp, whut els?"
"Daugs," sed Kemp.  "Get daugs.  Thae don't see him, but thae wind
him.  Get daugs."
"Guud," sed Adye.  "It's not jeneraly noen, but th prizon
ofishals oever at Halstead noe a man with bludhounds.  Daugs.  Whut
els?"
"Bair in miend," sed Kemp, "his food shoes.  After eeting, his food
shoes until it is asimilaeted.  So that he has to hied after eeting.
U must keep on beeting--evry thiket, evry qieet corner.  And puut
all wepons, all implements that miet be wepons, awae.  He can't
carry such things for long.  And whut he can snach up and striek men
with must be hiden awae."
"Guud agen," sed Adye.  "We shal hav him yet!"
"And on th roeds," sed Kemp, and hezitaeted.
"Yes?" sed Adye.
"Pouderd glas," sed Kemp.  "It's crooel, I noe.  But think of whut
he mae do!"
Adye droo th air in between his teeth sharply.  "It's
unsportsmanlike.  I don't noe.  But I'l hav pouderd glas got
redy.  If he goes too far--"
"Th man's becum inhueman, I tel U," sed Kemp.  "I am as shur he
wil establish a raen of terror--so soon as he has got oever th
emoeshuns of this escaep--as I am shur I am tauking to U.  Our oenly
chans is to be ahed.  He has cut himself off frum his kiend.  His
blud be upon his oen hed."
			      **********
			      Chapter 26
			 Th Wicksteed Merder
Th Invisibl Man seems to hav rusht out of Kemp's hous in a staet
of bliend fuery.  A litl chield plaeing neer Kemp's gaetwae was
vieolently caut up and throen asied, so that its ankl was broeken,
and thairafter for sum ours th Invisibl Man past out of hueman
persepshuns.  No wun noes wherr he went nor whut he did.  But wun
can imajin him herying thru th hot June fornoon, up th hil
and on to th oepen downland behiend Port Berdok, raejing and
despairing at his intolerabl faet, and sheltering at last, heeted
and weery, amid th thikets of Hintondean, to pees together agen
his shaterd skeems agenst his speeshys.  That seems th moest
probabl refuej for him, for thair it was he re-aserted himself in a
grimly tragical maner about too in th afternoon.
Wun wunders whut his staet of miend mae hav bin during that tiem,
and whut plans he deviezd.  No dout he was allmoest extaticaly
exasperaeted bi Kemp's trechery, and tho we mae be aebl to
understand th moetivs that led to that deseet, we mae stil imajin
and eeven sympathise a litl with th fuery th atempted serpriez
must hav ocaezhund.  Perhaps sumthing of th stund astonishment
of his Oxford Street expeeryenses mae hav reternd to him, for
evidently he had counted on Kemp's co-operaeshun in his brootal dreem
of a terrorised werld.  At eny raet he vanisht frum hueman ken about
middae, and no living witnes can tel whut he did until about
haf-past too.  It was a forchunet thing, perhaps, for huemanity, but
for him it was a faetal inacshun.
During that tiem a groeing multitued of men scaterd oever th
cuntrysied wer bizy.  In th morning he had stil bin simply a
lejend, a terror; in th afternoon, bi verchoo cheefly of Kemp's driely
werded proclamaeshun, he was prezented as a tanjibl antagonist, to be
woonded, capcherd, or oevercum, and th cuntrysied began organising
itself with inconseevabl rapidity.  Bi too o'clok eeven he miet
stil hav remoovd himself out of th district bi geting abord a
traen, but after too that becaem imposibl.  Evry pasenjer traen
along th liens on a graet parralelogram between Southampton,
Manchester, Brighton, and Horsham, traveld with lokt dors, and
th guuds trafic was allmoest entierly suspended.  And in a graet
sercl of twenty miels round Port Berdok, men armd with guns and
bludgeons wer prezently seting out in groops of three and foer,
with daugs, to beet th roeds and feelds.
Mounted poleesmen roed along th cuntry laens, stoping at evry
cotej and worning th peepl to lok up thair houses, and keep
indors unles thae wer armd, and all th elementary scools had
broeken up bi three o'clok, and th children, scaird and keeping
together in groops, wer herying hoem.  Kemp's proclamaeshun--siend
indeed bi Adye--was poested oever allmoest th hoel district bi foer or
fiev o'clok in th afternoon.  It gaev breefly but cleerly all th
condishuns of th strugl, th nesesity of keeping th Invisibl
Man frum food and sleep, th nesesity for insesant watchfulness and
for a prompt atenshun to eny evidens of his moovments.  And so
swift and desieded was th acshun of th authoritys, so prompt and
ueniversal was th beleef in this straenj being, that befor nietfual
an airia of several hundred sqair miels was in a strinjent staet of
seej.  And befor nietfual, too, a thril of horror went thru
th hoel woching nervus cuntrysied.  Going frum whispering mouth
to mouth, swift and serten oever th length and bredth of th
county, past th story of th merder of Mr. Wicksteed.
If our supozishun that th Invisibl Man's refuej was th Hintondean
thikets, then we must supoez that in th erly afternoon he sallied
out agen bent upon sum project that involvd th ues of a wepon.
We cannot noe whut th project was, but th evidens that he had th
ieern rod in hand befor he met Wicksteed is to me at leest
oeverwhelming.
We can noe nuthing of th deetaels of th encounter.  It ocurd on
th ej of a gravel pit, not too hundred yards frum Lord Burdock's
Loj gaet.  Evrything points to a desperet strugl,--th trampld
ground, th nuemerus woonds Mr. Wicksteed reseevd, his splinterd
wauking-stik; but whi th atak was maed--saev in a merderus
frenzy--it is imposibl to imajin.  Indeed th theeory of madnes is
allmoest unavoidabl.  Mr. Wicksteed was a man of forty-fiev or
forty-six, stooard to Lord Berdok, of inofensiv habits and
apeerans, th verry last person in th werld to provoek such a
terribl antagonist.  Agenst him it wuud seem th Invisibl Man
uezd an ieern rod dragd frum a broeken pees of fens.  He stopt
this qieet man, going qieetly hoem to his middae meel, atakt him,
beet doun his feebl defences, broek his arm, feld him, and smasht
his hed to a jely.
He must hav dragd this rod out of th fensing befor he met his
victim; he must hav bin carrying it redy in his hand.  Oenly too
deetaels beyond whut has allredy bin staeted seem to bair on th
mater.  Wun is th sercumstans that th gravel pit was not in Mr.
Wicksteed's direct path hoem, but neerly a cupl of hundred yards
out of his wae.  Th uther is th asershun of a litl gerl to th
efect that, going to her afternoon scool, she saw th merderd man
"troting" in a pecuelyar maner across a feeld tords th gravel
pit.  Her pantomiem of his acshun sugjests a man persooing sumthing
on th ground befor him and strieking at it ever and agen with his
wauking-stik.  She was th last person to see him aliev.  He past
out of her siet to his deth, th strugl being hiden frum her
oenly bi a clump of beech trees and a sliet depreshun in th ground.
Now this, to th prezent writer's miend at leest, lifts th merder out
of th relm of th absolootly wonton.  We mae imajin that Griffin
had taeken th rod as a wepon indeed, but without eny deliberet
intenshun of uezing it in merder.  Wicksteed mae then hav cum bi and
noetist this rod inexplicably mooving thru th air.  Without eny
thaut of th Invisibl Man--for Port Berdok is ten miels awae--he
mae hav persood it.  It is qiet conseevabl that he mae not eeven
hav herd of th Invisibl Man.  Wun can then imajin th Invisibl
Man maeking off--qieetly in order to avoid discuvering his prezens in
th naeborhuud, and Wicksteed, exsieted and cuerius, persooing this
unacountably loecomoetiv object--fienaly strieking at it.
No dout th Invisibl Man cuud eezily hav distanced his
midl-aejed persooer under ordinairy sercumstanses, but th pozishun in
which Wicksteed's body was found sugjests that he had th il luk to
driev his qorry into a corner between a drift of stinging nettles
and th gravel pit.  To thoes hoo apreeshiaet th extraordinairy
irasibility of th Invisibl Man, th rest of th encounter wil be
eezy to imajin.
But this is puer hiepothesis.  Th oenly undenieabl facts--for storys
of children ar offen unrelieabl--ar th discuvery of Wicksteed's
body, dun to deth, and of th blud-staend ieern rod flung amung
th nettles.  Th abandonment of th rod bi Griffin, sugjests that in
th emoeshunal exsietment of th afair, th perpos for which he tuuk
it--if he had a perpos--was abandond.  He was sertenly an
intensly egotistical and unfeeling man, but th siet of his victim,
his ferst victim, bludy and pityful at his feet, mae hav releest
sum long pent founten of remors to flud for a tiem whutever
skeem of acshun he had contrievd.
After th merder of Mr. Wicksteed, he wuud seem to hav struk
across th cuntry tords th downland.  Thair is a story of a vois
herd about sunset bi a cupl of men in a feeld neer Fern Botom.
It was waeling and lafing, sobing and groening, and ever and agen
it shouted.  It must hav bin qeer heering.  It droev up across th
midl of a cloever feeld and died awae tords th hils.
That afternoon th Invisibl Man must hav learnt sumthing of th
rapid ues Kemp had maed of his confidenses.  He must hav found
houses lokt and secuerd; he mae hav loitered about raelwae
staeshuns and prould about ins, and no dout he reed th
proclamaeshuns and realised sumthing of th naecher of th campaen
agenst him.  And as th eevning advanst, th feelds becaem doted
heer and thair with groops of three or foer men, and noizy with th
yelping of daugs.  Thees men-hunters had particuelar instrucshuns as to
th wae thae shuud suport wun anuther in th caes of an encounter.
He avoided them all.  We mae understand sumthing of his
exasperaeshun, and it cuud hav bin nun th les becauz he himself
had suplied th informaeshun that was being uezd so remorselessly
agenst him.  For that dae at leest he lost hart; for neerly
twenty-foer ours, saev when he ternd on Wicksteed, he was a hunted
man.  In th niet, he must hav eeten and slept; for in th morning
he was himself agen, activ, powerful, anggry, and malignant,
prepaird for his last graet strugl agenst th werld.
			      **********
			      Chapter 27
		      Th Seej of Kemp's Hous
Kemp reed a straenj misiv, riten in pensil on a greezy sheet of
paeper.
"U hav bin amaezingly enerjetic and clever," this leter ran,
"tho whut U stand to gaen bi it I cannot imajin.  U ar
agenst me.  For a hoel dae U hav chaest me; U hav tried to
rob me of a night's rest.  But I hav had food in spiet of U, I
hav slept in spiet of U, and th gaem is oenly begining.  Th gaem
is oenly begining.  Thair is nuthing for it, but to start th Terror.
This anounses th ferst dae of th Terror.  Port Berdok is no
longger under th Qeen tel yur Curnel of Polees, and th rest of
them; it is under me--th Terror!  This is dae wun of yeer wun of th
nue epok --th Epok of th Invisibl Man.  I am Invisibl Man th
Ferst.  To begin with th rool wil be eezy.  Th ferst dae thair
wil be wun execueshun for th saek of exampl--a man naemd Kemp.
Deth starts for him to-dae.  He mae lok himself awae, hied himself
awae, get gards about him, puut on armour if he lieks; Deth, th
unseen Deth, is cuming.  Let him taek precaushuns; it wil impres
mi peepl.  Deth starts frum th pilar-box bi middae.  Th leter
wil fall in as th poestman cums along, then off!  Th gaem begins.
Deth starts.  Help him not, mi peepl, lest Deth fall upon U
allso.  To-dae Kemp is to die."
Kemp reed this leter twies.  "It's no hoex," he sed.  "That's his
vois!  And he meens it."
He ternd th foelded sheet oever and saw on th adrest sied of it
th poestmark Hintondean, and th proezaeic deetael, "2d. to pae."
He got up, leeving his lunch unfinisht--th leter had cum bi th
wun o'clok poest--and went into his study.  He rang for his
houskeeper, and toeld her to go round th hous at wuns, examin all
th fasenings of th windoes, and cloes all th shuters.  He cloezd
th shuters of his study himself.  Frum a lokt dror in his
bedroom he tuuk a litl revolver, examind it cairfuly, and puut it
into th poket of his lounj jaket.  He roet a number of breef
noets, wun to Curnel Adye, gaev them to his servant to taek, with
explisit instrucshuns as to her wae of leeving th hous.  "Thair is
no daenjer," he sed, and aded a mental rezervaeshun, "to U."  He
remaend meditaetiv for a spaes after doing this, and then reternd
to his cooling lunch.
He aet with gaps of thaut.  Fienaly he struk th taebl sharply.
"We wil hav him!" he sed; "and I am th baet.  He wil cum too
far."
He went up to th belvedeer, cairfuly shuting evry dor after him.
"It's a gaem," he sed, "an od gaem--but th chanses ar all for me,
Mr. Griffin, in spiet of yur invizibility.  Griffin contra
mundum--with a vengeance!"
He stuud at th windo stairing at th hot hilsied.  "He must get
food evry dae--and I don't envy him.  Did he reealy sleep last
niet?  Out in th oepen sumwherr--secuer frum colizhuns.  I wish we
cuud get sum guud coeld wet wether insted of th heet.
"He mae be woching me now."
He went cloes to th windo.  Sumthing rapt smartly agenst th
brikwerk oever th fraem, and maed him start vieolently.
"I'm geting nervus," sed Kemp.  But it was fiev minits befor he
went to th windo agen.  "It must hav bin a sparro," he sed.
Prezently he herd th frunt-dor bel ringing, and heryd
dounstairs.  He unbolted and unlokt th dor, examind th chaen,
puut it up, and oepend caushusly without shoeing himself.  A familyar
vois haeld him.  It was Adye.
"Yur servant's bin asallted, Kemp," he sed round th dor.
"Whut!" exclaemd Kemp.
"Had that noet of yurs taeken awae frum her.  He's cloes about heer.
Let me in."
Kemp releest th chaen, and Adye enterd thru as narro an
oepening as posibl.  He stuud in th hall, luuking with infinit
releef at Kemp refastening th dor.  "Noet was snacht out of her
hand.  Scaird her horribly.  She's doun at th staeshun.  Histerrics.
He's cloes heer.  Whut was it about?"
Kemp swor.
"Whut a fool I was," sed Kemp.  "I miet hav noen.  It's not an
hour's wauk frum Hintondean.  Allredy!"
"Whut's up?" sed Adye.
"Luuk heer!" sed Kemp, and led th wae into his study.  He handed
Adye th Invisibl Man's leter.  Adye reed it and whisld sofftly.
"And U--?" sed Adye.
"Propoezd a trap--liek a fool," sed Kemp, "and sent mi propoezal out
bi a maed servant.  To him."
Adye foloed Kemp's profanity.
"He'l cleer out," sed Adye.
"Not he," sed Kemp.
A rezounding smash of glas caem frum upstairs.  Adye had a silvery
glimps of a litl revolver haf out of Kemp's poket.  "It's a
windo, upstairs!" sed Kemp, and led th wae up.  Thair caem a
second smash whiel thae wer stil on th staircaes.  When thae
reecht th study thae found too of th three windoes smasht, haf
th room literd with splinterd glas, and wun big flint lieing on
th rieting taebl.  Th too men stopt in th dorwae, contemplaeting
th rekej.  Kemp swor agen, and as he did so th therd windo
went with a snap liek a pistol, hung stard for a moement, and
colapst in jaged, shivering tri-angls into th room.
"Whut's this for?" sed Adye.
"It's a begining," sed Kemp.
"Thair's no wae of clieming up heer?"
"Not for a cat," sed Kemp.
"No shuters?"
"Not heer.  All th dounstairs rooms--Hullo!"
Smash, and then whak of bords hit hard caem frum dounstairs.
"Confound him! sed Kemp.  "That must be--yes--it's wun of th
bedrooms.  He's going to do all th hous.  But he's a fool.  Th
shuters ar up, and th glas wil fall outsied.  He'l cut his
feet."
Anuther windo proclaemd its destrucshun.  Th too men stuud on th
landing perplext.  "I hav it! sed Adye.  "Let me hav a stik or
sumthing, and I'l go doun to th staeshun and get th bludhounds
puut on.  That aut to setl him!  Thae'r hard bi--not ten
minits--"
Anuther windo went th wae of its feloes.
"U havn't a revolver?" askt Adye.
Kemp's hand went to his poket.  Then he hezitaeted.  "I havn't
wun--at leest to spair."
"I'l bring it bak," sed Adye, "U'l be saef heer."
Kemp handed him th wepon.
"Now for th dor," sed Adye.
As thae stuud hezitaeting in th hall, thae herd wun of th
ferst-flor bedroom windoes crak and clash.  Kemp went to th dor
and began to slip th boelts as sielently as posibl.  His faes was a
litl paler than uezhual.  "U must step straet out," sed Kemp.
In anuther moement Adye was on th dorstep and th boelts wer
droping bak into th staepls.  He hezitaeted for a moement, feeling
mor cumfortabl with his bak agenst th dor.  Then he marcht,
upriet and sqair, doun th steps.  He crosst th laun and
aproecht th gaet.  A litl breez seemd to ripl oever th
gras.  Sumthing moovd neer him.  "Stop a bit," sed a Vois, and
Adye stopt ded and his hand tietend on th revolver.
"Wel?" sed Adye, whiet and grim, and evry nerv tens.
"Obliej me bi going bak to th hous," sed th Vois, as tens and
grim as Adye's.
"Sorry," sed Adye a litl horsly, and moisend his lips with his
tung.  Th Vois was on his left frunt, he thaut.  Supoez he
wer to taek his luk with a shot?
"Whut ar U going for?" sed th Vois, and thair was a qik
moovment of th too, and a flash of sunliet frum th oepen lip of
Adye's poket.
Adye desisted and thaut.  "Wherr I go," he sed sloely, "is mi oen
biznes."  Th werds wer stil on his lips, when an arm caem round
his nek, his bak felt a nee, and he was spralling bakward.  He
droo clumzily and fierd abserdly, and in anuther moement he was struk
in th mouth and th revolver wrested frum his grip.  He maed a vaen
cluch at a slipery lim, tried to strugl up and fel bak.
"Dam!" sed Adye.  Th Vois laft.  "I'd kil U now if it
wasn't th waest of a buulet," it sed.  He saw th revolver in
mid-air, six feet off, cuvering him.
"Wel?" sed Adye, siting up.
"Get up," sed th Vois.
Adye stuud up.
"Atenshun" sed th Vois, and then feersly, "Don't tri eny gaems.
Remember I can see yur faes if U can't see mien.  U'v got to go
bak to th hous."
"He woen't let me in," sed Adye.
"That's a pity," sed th Invisibl Man.  "I'v got no qorrel with
U."
Adye moisend his lips agen.  He glanst awae frum th barrel of
th revolver and saw th see far off verry bloo and dark under th
middae sun, th smooth green doun, th whiet clif of th Hed, and
th multituedinus toun, and sudenly he nue that lief was verry
sweet.  His ies caem bak to this litl metal thing hanging between
heven and erth, six yards awae.  "Whut am I to do?" he sed
sulenly.
"Whut am I to do?" askt th Invisibl Man.  "U wil get help.  Th
oenly thing is for U to go bak."
"I wil tri.  If he lets me in wil U promis not to rush th
dor?"
"I'v got no qorrel with U," sed th Vois.
Kemp had heryd upstairs after leting Adye out, and now crouching
amung th broeken glas and peering caushusly oever th ej of th
study windo-sil, he saw Adye stand parleying with th Unseen.  "Whi
duzn't he fier?" whisperd Kemp to himself.  Then th revolver moovd
a litl and th glint of th sunliet flasht in Kemp's ies.  He
shaeded his ies and tried to see th sors of th bliending beem.
"Shurly!" he sed.  "Adye has given up th revolver."
"Promis not to rush th dor," Adye was saeing.  "Don't puush a
wining gaem too far.  Giv a man a chans."
"U go bak to th hous.  I tel U flatly I wil not promis
enything."
Adye's desizhun seemd sudenly maed.  He ternd tords th hous,
wauking sloely with his hands behiend him.  Kemp wocht him--
puzld.  Th revolver vanisht, flasht agen into siet, vanisht
agen, and becaem evident on a cloeser scrootiny as a litl dark
object foloeing Adye.  Then things hapend verry qikly.  Adye
lept bakwards, swung round, clucht at this litl object, mist
it, throo up his hands and fel forward on his faes, leeving a litl
puf of bloo in th air.  Kemp did not heer th sound of th shot.
Adye riethd, raezd himself on wun arm, fel forward, and lae stil.
For a spaes Kemp remaend stairing at th qieet cairlesnes of Adye's
atitued.  Th afternoon was verry hot and stil, nuthing seemd
stering in all th werld saev a cupl of yelo buterflies chaesing
eech uther thru th shrubery between th hous and th roed gaet.
Adye lae on th laun neer th gaet.  Th bliends of all th vilas
doun th hil-roed wer drawn, but in wun litl green sumer-hous
was a whiet figuer, aparrently an oeld man asleep.  Kemp scrutinised
th seroundings of th hous for a glimps of th revolver, but it
had vanisht.  His ies caem bak to Adye.  Th gaem was oepening
wel.
Then caem a ringing and noking at th frunt dor, that groo at last
toomulchuos, but persooant to Kemp's instrucshuns th servants had
lokt themselvs into thair rooms.  This was foloed bi a sielens.
Kemp sat lisening and then began peering caushusly out of th three
windoes, wun after anuther.  He went to th staircaes hed and stuud
lisening uneezily.  He armd himself with his bedroom poeker, and
went to examin th inteerior fasenings of th ground-flor windoes
agen.  Evrything was saef and qieet.  He reternd to th belvedeer.
Adye lae moeshunles oever th ej of th gravel just as he had
fallen.  Cuming along th roed bi th vilas wer th housmaed and
too poleesmen.
Evrything was dedly stil.  Th three peepl seemd verry slo in
aproeching.  He wunderd whut his antagonist was doing.
He started.  Thair was a smash frum belo.  He hezitaeted and went
dounstairs agen.  Sudenly th hous rezounded with hevy bloes and
th splintering of wuud.  He herd a smash and th destructiv clang
of th ieern fasenings of th shuters.  He ternd th kee and oepend
th kichen dor.  As he did so, th shuters, split and splintering,
caem flieing inward.  He stuud agast.  Th windo fraem, saev for wun
cross bar, was stil intact, but oenly litl teeth of glas remaend
in th fraem.  Th shuters had bin driven in with an ax, and now
th ax was desending in sweeping bloes upon th windo fraem and
th ieern bars defending it.  Then sudenly it lept asied and
vanisht.  He saw th revolver lieing on th path outsied, and then
th litl wepon sprang into th air.  He dojd bak.  Th revolver
crakt just too laet, and a splinter frum th ej of th cloezing
dor flasht oever his hed.  He slamd and lokt th dor, and as
he stuud outsied he herd Griffin shouting and lafing.  Then th
bloes of th ax, with thair spliting and smashing acumpanyments,
wer rezoomd.
Kemp stuud in th pasej trieing to think.  In a moement th Invisibl
Man wuud be in th kichen.  This dor wuud not keep him a moement,
and then--
A ringing caem at th frunt dor agen.  It wuud be th poleesmen.
He ran into th hall, puut up th chaen, and droo th boelts.  He maed
th gerl speek befor he dropt th chaen, and th three peepl
blunderd into th hous in a heep, and Kemp slamd th dor agen.
"Th Invisibl Man!" sed Kemp.  "He has a revolver, with too
shots--left.  He's kild Adye.  Shot him enyhow.  Didn't U see him
on th laun?  He's lieing thair."
"Hoo?" sed wun of th poleesmen.
"Adye," sed Kemp.
"We caem round th bak wae," sed th gerl.
"Whut's that smashing?" askt wun of th poleesmen.
"He's in th kichen--or wil be.  He has found an ax--"
Sudenly th hous was fuul of th Invisibl Man's rezounding bloes
on th kichen dor.  Th gerl staird tords th kichen, shuderd,
and retreeted into th diening-room.  Kemp tried to explaen in broeken
sentenses.  Thae herd th kichen dor giv.
"This wae," cried Kemp, starting into activity, and bundld th
poleesmen into th diening-room dorwae.
"Poeker," sed Kemp, and rusht to th fender.  He handed a poeker to
eech poleesman.  He sudenly flung himself bakward.
"Whup!" sed wun poleesman, dukt, and caut th ax on his poeker.
Th pistol snapt its penultimet shot and ript a valueabl Sidney
Cooper.  Th second poleesman braut his poeker doun on th litl
wepon, as wun miet nok doun a wosp, and sent it ratling to th
flor.
At th ferst clash th gerl screemd, stuud screeming for a moement bi
th fierplaes, and then ran to oepen th shuters--posibly with an
iedeea of escaeping bi th shaterd windo.
Th ax reseeded into th pasej, and fel to a pozishun about too
feet frum th ground.  Thae cuud heer th Invisibl Man breething.
"Stand awae, U too," he sed.  "I wont that man Kemp."
"We wont U," sed th ferst poleesman, maeking a qik step forward
and wieping with his poeker at th Vois.  Th Invisibl Man must hav
started bak.  He blunderd into th umbrela stand.  Then, as th
poleesman stagerd with th swing of th blo he had aemd, th
Invisibl Man counterd with th ax, th helmet crumpld liek paeper,
and th blo sent th man spining to th flor at th hed of th
kichen stairs.  But th second poleesman, aeming behiend th ax with
his poeker, hit sumthing sofft that snapt.  Thair was a sharp
exclamaeshun of paen and th ax fel to th ground.  Th poleesman
wiept agen at vaecansy and hit nuthing; he puut his fuut on th ax,
and struk agen.  Then he stuud, poeker clubd, lisening intent for
th slietest moovment.
He herd th diening-room windo oepen, and a qik rush of feet
within.  His companyon roeld oever and sat up with th blud runing
doun between his ie and eer.  "Wherr is he?" askt th man on th
flor.
"Don't noe.  I'v hit him.  He's standing sumwherr in th hall.
Unles he's slipt past U.  Doctor Kemp--ser."
Pauz.
"Doctor Kemp," cried th poleesman agen.
Th second poleesman strugld to his feet.  He stuud up.  Sudenly
th faent pad of bair feet on th kichen stairs cuud be herd.
"Yap!" cried th ferst poleesman and incontinently flung his poeker.
It smasht a litl gas braket.
He maed as if he wuud persoo th Invisibl Man dounstairs.  Then he
thaut beter of it and stept into th diening-room.
"Doctor Kemp," he began, and stopt short--
"Doctor Kemp's in heer," he sed, as his companyon luukt oever his
shoelder.
Th diening-room windo was wied oepen, and neether housmaed nor Kemp
was to be seen.
Th second policeman's opinyon of Kemp was ters and vivid.
			      **********
			      Chapter 28
			  Th Hunter Hunted
Mr. Heelas, Mr. Kemp's neerest naebor amung th vila hoelders, was
asleep in his sumer hous when th seej of Kemp's hous began.  Mr.
Heelas was wun of th sterdy minority hoo refuezd to beleev "in all
this nonsens" about an Invisibl Man.  His wief, however, as he was
to be remiended subseqently, did.  He insisted upon wauking about his
garden just as if nuthing was th mater, and he went to sleep in th
afternoon in acordans with th custom of yeers.  He slept thru
th smashing of th windoes, and then woek up sudenly with a cuerius
perswaezhun of sumthing rong.  He luukt across at Kemp's hous,
rubd his ies and luukt agen.  Then he puut his feet to th
ground, and sat lisening.  He sed he was damd, and stil th
straenj thing was vizibl.  Th hous luukt as tho it had bin
dezerted for weeks--after a vieolent rieot.  Evry windo was broeken,
and evry windo, saev thoes of th belvedeer study, was bliended bi
th internal shuters.
"I cuud hav sworn it was all riet"--he luukt at his woch
--"twenty minits ago."
He becaem awair of a mezherd concushun and th clash of glas, far
awae in th distans.  And then, as he sat oepen-mouthd, caem a stil
mor wunderful thing.  Th shuters of th drawing-room windo wer
flung oepen vieolently, and th housmaed in her outdor hat and
garments, apeerd strugling in a frantic maner to thro up th
sash.  Sudenly a man apeerd besied her, helping her--Dr. Kemp!  In
anuther moement th windo was oepen, and th housmaed was strugling
out; she picht forward and vanisht amung th shrubs.  Mr. Heelas
stuud up, exclaeming vaegly and veeemently at all thees wunderful
things.  He saw Kemp stand on th sil, spring frum th windo, and
re-apeer allmoest instantaeniusly runing along a path in th shrubery
and stooping as he ran, liek a man hoo evaeds obzervaeshun.  He
vanisht behiend a laburnum, and apeerd agen clambering a fens
that abuted on th oepen doun.  In a second he had tumbld oever and
was runing at a tremendus paes doun th sloep tords Mr. Heelas.
"Lord!" cried Mr. Heelas, struk with an iedeea; "it's that Invisibl
Man broot!  It's riet, after all!"
With Mr. Heelas to think things liek that was to act, and his cuuk
woching him frum th top windo was amaezd to see him cum pelting
tords th hous at a guud nien miels an our.  "Thaut he wasn't
afraed," sed th cuuk.  "Mary, just cum heer!"  Thair was a
slaming of dors, a ringing of bels, and th vois of Mr. Heelas
beloeing liek a buul.  "Shut th dors, shut th windoes, shut
evrything! th Invisibl Man is cuming!"  Instantly th hous was
fuul of screems and direcshuns, and scurying feet.  He ran to shut
th French windoes himself that oepend on th veranda; as he did so
Kemp's hed and shoelders and nee apeerd oever th ej of th
garden fens.  In anuther moement Kemp had ploughed thru th
asparragus, and was runing across th tenis laun to th hous.
"U can't cum in," sed Mr. Heelas, shuting th boelts.  "I'm verry
sorry if he's after U, but U can't cum in!"
Kemp apeerd with a faes of terror cloes to th glas, raping and
then shaeking franticaly at th French windo.  Then, seeing his
eforts wer uesles, he ran along th veranda, vallted th end, and
went to hamer at th sied dor.  Then he ran round bi th sied gaet
to th frunt of th hous, and so into th hil-roed.  And Mr. Heelas
stairing frum his windo--a faes of horror--had scairsly witnest
Kemp vanish, err th asparragus was being trampld this wae and that
bi feet unseen.  At that Mr. Heelas fled presipitaetly upstairs, and
th rest of th chaes is beyond his pervue.  But as he past th
staircaes windo, he herd th sied gaet slam.
Emerjing into th hil-roed, Kemp nacheraly tuuk th dounward
direcshun, and so it was he caem to run in his oen person th verry
raes he had wocht with such a critical ie frum th belvedeer study
oenly foer daes ago.  He ran it wel for a man out of traening; and
tho his faes was whiet and wet, his wits wer cool to th last.
He ran with wied strieds, and wherrever a pach of ruf ground
interveend, wherrever thair caem a pach of raw flints, or a bit of
broeken glas shoen dazling, he crosst it and left th bair
invisibl feet that foloed to taek whut lien thae wuud.
For th ferst tiem in his lief Kemp discuverd that th hil- roed
was indescriebably vast and desolet, and that th beginings of th
toun far belo at th hil fuut wer straenjly remoet.  Never had
thair bin a sloeer or mor paenful method of progreshun than
runing.  All th gaunt vilas, sleeping in th afternoon sun, luukt
lokt and bard; no dout thae wer lokt and bard--bi his oen
orders.  But at eny raet thae miet hav kept a luukout for an
evenchuality liek this!  Th toun was riezing up now, th see had
dropt out of siet behiend it, and peepl doun belo wer stering.
A tram was just arieving at th hil fuut.  Beyond that was th
polees staeshun.  Was that fuutsteps he herd behiend him?  Spert.
Th peepl belo wer stairing at him, wun or too wer runing, and
his breth was begining to saw in his throet.  Th tram was qiet
neer now, and th Joly Cricketers was noizily baring its dors.
Beyond th tram wer poests and heeps of gravel--th draenej werks.
He had a transitory iedeea of jumping into th tram and slaming th
dors, and then he rezolvd to go to th polees staeshun.  In anuther
moement he had past th dor of th Joly Cricketers, and was in th
blistering fag end of th street, with hueman beings about him.  Th
tram driever and his helper--arested bi th siet of his fuerius
haest --stuud stairing with th tram horses unhicht.  Ferther on th
astonisht feechers of navvies apeerd abuv th mounds of gravel.
His paes broek a litl, and then he herd th swift pad of his
persooer, and lept forward agen.  "Th Invisibl Man!" he cried to
th navvies, with a vaeg indicativ jescher, and bi an inspiraeshun
lept th excavaeshun and plaest a berly groop between him and th
chaes.  Then abandoning th iedeea of th polees staeshun he ternd into
a litl sied street, rusht bi a greengrocer's cart, hezitaeted for
th tenth of a second at th dor of a sweetstuff shop, and then maed
for th mouth of an aly that ran bak into th maen Hil Street
agen.  Too or three litl children wer plaeing heer, and shreekt
and scaterd runing at his aparishun, and forthwith dors and
windoes oepend and exsieted muthers reveeld thair harts.  Out he
shot into Hil Street agen, three hundred yards frum th tramline
end, and imeedyetly he becaem awair of a toomulchuos vociferation and
runing peepl.
He glanst up th street tords th hil.  Hardly a duzen yards off
ran a huej navvy, cursing in fragments and slashing vishusly with a
spaed, and hard behiend him caem th tram conductor with his fists
clencht.  Up th street uthers foloed thees too, strieking and
shouting.  Doun tords th toun, men and wimen wer runing, and he
noetist cleerly wun man cuming out of a shop-dor with a stik in his
hand.  "Spred out!  Spred out!" cried sum wun.  Kemp sudenly
graspt th allterd condishun of th chaes.  He stopt and luukt
round, panting.  "He's cloes heer!" he cried.  "Form a lien across--"
"Aha!" shouted a vois.
He was hit hard under th eer, and went reeling, trieing to faes round
tords his unseen antagonist.  He just manejd to keep his feet, and
he struk a vaen counter in th air.  Then he was hit agen under th
jaw, and spralld hedlong on th ground.  In anuther moement a nee
comprest his dieafram, and a cupl of eeger hands gript his
throet, but th grip of wun was weeker than th uther; he graspt th
rists, herd a cri of paen frum his asaelant, and then th spaed of
th navvy caem wherling thru th air abuv him, and struk
sumthing with a dul thud.  He felt a drop of moischer on his faes.
Th grip at his throet sudenly relaxt, and with a convulsiv efort
Kemp loosed himself, graspt a limp shoelder, and roeld upermost.
He gript th unseen elboes neer th ground.  "I'v got him!"
screemd Kemp.  "Help!  Help! hoeld!  He's doun!  Hoeld his feet!"
In anuther second thair was a siemultaenius rush upon th strugl,
and a straenjer cuming into th roed sudenly miet hav thaut an
exsepshunaly savej gaem of Rugby fuutball was in progres.  And
thair was no shouting after Kemp's cri--oenly a sound of bloes and
feet and a hevy breething.
Then caem a miety efort, and th Invisibl Man throo off a cupl
of his antagonists and roez to his nees.  Kemp clung to him in frunt
liek a hound to a stag, and a duzen hands gript, clucht, and tore
at th Unseen.  Th tram conductor sudenly got th nek and
shoelders and lugd him bak.
Doun went th heep of strugling men agen and roeld oever.  Thair
was, I am afraed, sum savej kiking.  Then sudenly a wield screem
of "Mersy!  Mersy!" that died doun swiftly to a sound liek choeking.
"Get bak, U fools!" cried th mufld vois of Kemp, and thair was
a vigorus shuving bak of stallwart forms.  "He's hert, I tel U.
Stand bak!"
Thair was a breef strugl to cleer a spaes, and then th sercl of
eeger ies saw th doctor neeling, as it seemd, fifteen inches in
th air, and hoelding invisibl arms to th ground.  Behiend him a
constabl gript invisibl ankls.
"Don't U leev go of en," cried th big navvy, hoelding a
bludstaend spaed; "he's shaming."
"He's not shaming," sed th doctor, caushusly raezing his nee;
"and I'l hoeld him."  His faes was broozd and allredy going red; he
spoek thikly becauz of a bleeding lip.  He releest wun hand and
seemd to be feeling at th faes.  "Th mouth's all wet," he sed.
And then, "Guud God!"
He stuud up abruptly and then nelt doun on th ground bi th sied of
th thing unseen.  Thair was a puushing and shufling, a sound of
hevy feet as fresh peepl ternd up to increes th presher of th
croud.  Peepl now wer cuming out of th houses.  Th dors of th
Joly Cricketers wer sudenly wied oepen.  Verry litl was sed.
Kempt felt about, his hand seeming to pas thru empty air.  "He's
not breething," he sed, and then, "I can't feel his hart.  His
sied--ugh!"
Sudenly an oeld wuuman, peering under th arm of th big navvy,
screemd sharply.  "Luuky thair!" she sed, and thrust out a rinkld
fingger.
And luuking wherr she pointed, evry wun saw, faent and transpairent
as tho it was maed of glas, so that vaens and arterys and boens
and nervs cuud be distinggwisht, th outlien of a hand, a hand limp
and proen.  It groo clouded and oepaek eeven as thae staird.
"Hullo!" cried th constabl.  "Heer's his feet a-shoeing!"
And so, sloely, begining at his hands and feet and creeping along
his lims to th vietal centres of his body, that straenj chaenj
continued.  It was liek th slo spreding of a poizon.  Ferst caem
th litl whiet nervs, a haezy grae skech of a lim, then th
glasy boens and intriket arterys, then th flesh and skin, ferst a
faent fogynes and then groeing rapidly dens and oepaek.  Prezently
thae cuud see his crusht chest and his shoelders, and th dim
outlien of his drawn and baterd feechers.
When at last th croud maed wae for Kemp to stand erect, thair lae,
naeked and pityful on th ground, th broozd and broeken body of a
yung man about therty.  His hair and beerd wer whiet--not grae with
aej but whiet with th whietnes of albinism, and his ies wer liek
garnets.  His hands wer clencht, his ies wied oepen, and his
expreshun was wun of angger and dismae.
"Cuver his faes!" sed a man.  "For Gawd's saek, cuver that faes!"
and three litl children, puushing forward thru th croud, wer
sudenly twisted round and sent paking off agen.
Sum wun braut a sheet frum th Joly Cricketers; and having
cuverd him, thae carryd him into that hous.
			     ************
			     Th Epilog
So ends th story of th straenj and eevil experriment of th Invisibl
Man.  And if U wuud lern mor of him U must go to a litl in
neer Port Stowe and tauk to th landlord.  Th sien of th in is an
empty bord saev for a hat and boots, and th naem is th tietl of
this story.  Th landlord is a short and corpuelent litl man with a
noez of silindrical proetroozhun, wiery hair, and a sporadic rosiness of
vizej.  Drink jenerusly, and he wil tel U jenerusly of all th
things that hapend to him after that tiem, and of how th lawyers
tried to do him out of th trezher found upon him.
"When thae found thae cuudn't proov hoo's muny was which, I'm
blesed," he ses, "if thae didn't tri to maek me out a blooming
trezher trove!  Do I luuk liek a Trezher Trove?  And then a
jentlman gaev me a guinea a niet to tel th story at th Empier
Muezic 'all--just tel 'em in mi oen werds--baring wun."
And if U wont to cut off th flo of his reminisenses abruptly,
U can allwaes do so bi asking if thair wern't three manuescript
buuks in th story.  He admits thair wer and proseeds to explaen,
with asseverations that evrybody thinks he has 'em!  But bles U!
he hasn't.  "Th Invisibl Man it was tuuk 'em off to hied 'em when I
cut and ran for Port Stowe.  It's that Mr. Kemp puut peepl on with
th iedeea of mi having 'em."
And then he subsides into a pensiv staet, woches U fertivly,
bustles nervusly with glases, and prezently leevs th bar.
He is a bachelor man--his taests wer ever bachelor, and thair ar no
wimen foek in th hous.  Outwardly he butons--it is expected of
him--but in his mor vietal privacies, in th mater of braeses for
exampl, he stil terns to string.  He conducts his hous without
enterpriez, but with eminent decorum.  His moovments ar slo, and he
is a graet thinker.  But he has a repuetaeshun for wizdom and for a
respectabl parsimoeny in th vilej, and his nolej of th roeds
of th South of England wuud beet Cobbett.
And on Sunday mornings, evry Sunday morning all th yeer round,
whiel he is cloezd to th outer werld, and evry niet after ten, he
goes into his bar parlour bairing a glas of jin faently tinged with
wauter; and having plaest this doun, he loks th dor and examins
th bliends, and eeven luuks under th taebl.  And then, being
satisfied of his solitued, he unloks th cubord and a box in th
cubord and a dror in that box, and produeses three voluems bound
in broun lether, and plaeses them solemly in th midl of th
taebl.  Th cuvers ar wether-worn and tinged with an algal
green--for wuns thae sojourned in a dich and sum of th paejes hav
bin wosht blank bi derty wauter.  Th landlord sits doun in an
armchair, fils a long clae piep sloely, gloeting oever th buuks th
whiel.  Then he puuls wun tords him and oepens it, and begins to
study it--terning oever th leevs bakwards and forwards.
His brous ar nit and his lips moov paenfuly.  "Hex, litl too up
in th air, cross and a fidl-de-dee.  Lord! whut a wun he was for
intelect!"
Prezently he relaxes and leens bak, and blinks thru his smoek
across th room at things invisibl to uther ies.  "Fuul of
seecrets," he ses.  "Wunderful seecrets!"
"Wuns I get th hall of them--Lord!
"I wuudn't do whut he did; I'd just--wel!"  He puuls at his piep.
So he lapses into a dreem, th undieing wunderful dreem of his lief.
And tho Kemp has fished unseesingly, and Adye has qeschund
cloesly, no hueman being saev th landlord noes thoes buuks ar
thair, with th sutl seecret of invizibility and a duzen uther
straenj seecrets riten thairin.  And nun uther wil noe of them
until he dies.
			     **TH END**
.